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qweerblue

qweerblue

Registered Member
If you prefer to be referred to as he, then that's what I shall refer to you as. It doesn't change what an awesome person you are. And i'm really glad you feel you can share those things with us already. :)
Thanks, Impact, so very *very* much.

I gotta wonder--if you hadn't started this thread, would I have felt comfortable doing this? Most likely not. So. A very special "thank you" to you for creating this space--I will always think of you when I think of my "coming out" :D
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Queer....I can only think of you as a man. Mostly because you don't act write or think like a girl at all. People don't like categorizations and generalities and sterotypes yet ironically we all want to know each other's genders. It's a thrill though to see when the gender "rules" are broken and that's coming from a straight, traditional, and conservative woman such as myself.
shelgarr, your comment really touched me, and I appreciate, so much, your reminding us that we all really are such complicated creatures; I mean, I bet you've been pigeonholed for being "straight, traditional, and conservative", like people think they can know everything about you just by knowing those three things, and most folks would probably expect that someone who could describe herself with those words would probably not be cool with anyone breaking those sacred gender rules. And, as you have shown us, most folks would be wrong. So, I think you rock, and I appreciate, so much, your support and kind words here.

Oh, and also! You said that thing about me writing like a man, and it made me remember this site that analyzes a person's writing and guesses whether the author is male of female (though, since I'm such a stickler when it comes to terminology, it should actually determine whether the author is "masculine" or "feminine" as "male" and "female" are actually sex designations, but I digress); I discovered it a few months ago while researching some gender stuff, and, indeed, no matter what piece of my writing I past into the program, it always decides that it was written by a man. Here's the site:


Hacker Factor: Gender Guesser
 
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Impact

Well-Known Member
V.I.P.
Thanks, Impact, so very *very* much.

I gotta wonder--if you hadn't started this thread, would I have felt comfortable doing this? Most likely not. So. A very special "thank you" to you for creating this space--I will always think of you when I think of my "coming out" :D
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Hacker Factor: Gender Guesser
<3

And I'm trying that website out now. I was thought to be a guy when I first joined here, so it will be interesting to see if I really do come across as
masculine.

In an informal setting, I was male, and for a formal setting it said weak female. Interesting. I like that site.
 
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qweerblue

Registered Member
I have no problem with whatever gender identity you choose for yourself, but it's gonna cause six kinds of confusion for everyone who doesn't see this thread :lol:

I know how rough our society can be for people who don't fit into our little preconceived boxes. Although for whatever reason we seem much more able to accept women who act like men than we are men who act like women. I'm not really sure why.

I know! I mean, you're exactly right--only a handful of GFers are gonna have this inside scoop on me. Maybe I should come up with a signature that explains it all: "Yeah, I was born a biological female, but I still swing a big stick" ;) I guess that still may be confusing, and kind of dirty. I'll work on it...:lol:

I go 'round and 'round about why it is that certain "deviances" may be more acceptable than others, and though I'm not willing yet to definitively declare that masculine-acting women are more acceptable than feminine-acting men (and I know this isn't exactly what you said and that you weren't making a definitive statement), I think the flack that feminine men get may be tied to patriarchy and misogyny; to put it really bluntly, since men are considered the stronger, "better" sex, those who transgress to embrace feminine behavior are seen as pathological, somehow, in their denial of their maleness; women who act like men "make sense", in a way, if their behavior can be framed as simply embracing the ways of the "stronger" sex. Do you know what I mean?

Like, if someone from a middle-class neighborhood decided to move and could either choose a crumbling inner city tenement or a well-appointed brick home on a tree-lined street, most people would think the person crazy for choosing the tenement. Not the best analogy, but it kind of gets at what I'm trying to say.
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On the internet, I'm not interested in the sex of a person, only their gender. If you have the gender role of a man, I will think of you as a man regardless of your own opinion. As far as I care, you're one smart guy who contributes beautifully to Mature Discussion.

You serve as a counter example to the socialization theory of gender which states that sexes develop genders because of the environment sexes are raised in. This was already known to be false to a certain extent, but your existence convinces me even more. Thank you for existing.
When you say 'we', if you're talking about men, everything makes perfect sense. Men in general like women of all flavours. If you're including women, it's probably admiration because it breaks free from the traditional expectation that women are softer, less rougher etc.
fractal, thank you so much for your response here. I'll admit that I was a little anxious, wondering how you'd feel, because you just never know how someone will respond, and I would have been really bummed to lose out on what feels like a burgeoning friendship. I've had such great discussions with you, and I always look forward to reading your incredibly insightful posts, and I am just really relieved to find out that we can keep having them--thank *you* for existing :)

I also like what you said about the socialization theory of gender--and you're right: all the heterosexual people around me (I never knew another queer person until I was in my late teens), and all the dresses and ribbons in the world, and all the chastising of me to "act like a lady", and all the therapy with mental health professionals, and all the forced discussions with my family's Southern Baptist preacher, and just all the cues all around me to conform my behavior to my sex, did nothing but *solidify* for me the fact that I was *not* a girl. All it did was burden me with a whole bunch of fear and shame, for an awfully long time, but it sure never turned me into a girl.
 
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Puck

Registered Member
<3

And I'm trying that website out now. I was thought to be a guy when I first joined here, so it will be interesting to see if I really do come across as
masculine.

In an informal setting, I was male, and for a formal setting it said weak female. Interesting. I like that site.
Don't worry, we both were.

Also, Queer, I just creeped your posts alittle and you are indeed kind of fantastic. I may continue creeping you in the future!
 

ysabel

/ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5
impact is a girl?????
puck is a girl?????



Qweerb, now that everyone loves you, it's the best time to convince them to properly use the terms sex and gender. Thank you!
 
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