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Problems I Am Having

smyth-stir

New Member
Over the last couple of weeks i have not been myself, i have thought that was on the edge of a nervous break down. I know think this is not the case.

If i am honest to myself i know why i have not been myself, especially at work, i think i have fallen for one of my colleagues, i would say this is not good. for the main reason that we are both male!!

There are rumors around the small company we work for that he is gay, however i am not sure if he is gay or if i am gay/bi as i have never had a male partner i have only ever had female partners,

We use to spend a lot of time having a laugh while we work but that has seemed to stop.

What do i do? I am really confused and frustrated, if only i could have some advice
 

konboye

Registered Member
Slap yourself and go get yourself your regular. Common man, lets look at this practically, risk vs reward that kind of thing. Its a no-no. But if you would rather loose your job and get laid with some should-we-say-random-guy, while you embarrassingly discover your true sexuality than keep your job and get a new girl, then you are a true genius. Right?
 
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Jeanie

still nobody's bitch
V.I.P.
falling for a colleague is risky even when it's an opposite-gender attraction. I wouldn't advise it.

It does suck when you have to turn off feelings that you have for someone who is unavailable to you for whatever reason, but it sounds like that is the best course of action in this case.

Good luck
 

generalblue

Where is my Queen?
Never have relations with your co workers. I dated a girl that I used to work with and guess what...we both got canned! My advise...don't do it...it's not worth it.
 

Unity

Living in Ikoria
Staff member
I'll echo that it's dangerous to pursue a co-worker; as far as being unsure about your feelings for a guy, there's nothing wrong with exploring that on your own time. If you're actively dating, you can always try to go on them with both guys and girls, and see where your heart will take you. Even just socializing among friends and meeting new people (not sure how old you are) can help, as flirting and "looking around" will occur... :) hope that this helps a little.
 

EllyDicious

made of AMBIGUITY
V.I.P.
Never have relations with your co workers. .
Why? If you break up with that person and you don't care what's the problem if you still work together?
 

Unity

Living in Ikoria
Staff member
Why? If you break up with that person and you don't care what's the problem if you still work together?
Good point, Elly. I'd say that the whole relationship/work thing just varies from person to person in how he or she can handle it, and on how their work dynamic will suit a relationship and/or potential breakup.

My brother and his wife work together, and met at work. They work for the same nonprofit organization but in different sections/buildings, which would make the decision easier in that case. Still, it can work. ;)
 

generalblue

Where is my Queen?
Why? If you break up with that person and you don't care what's the problem if you still work together?
Just like I said...all the companies that I worked for...it is frowned upon to have a relationship with a co worker. In my case, we both got fired when they found out that we were dating. It was our fault, we called in sick on the same day...and two weeks later when our boss found out, he terminated us. That's why I feel that way. That was my experience.

We were off watching a movie at my apartment and my boss said that he wanted us to show up for a meeting. Needless to say it wasn't a meeting, it was our final checks.
 

EllyDicious

made of AMBIGUITY
V.I.P.
Just like I said...all the companies that I worked for...it is frowned upon to have a relationship with a co worker. In my case, we both got fired when they found out that we were dating. .
I think this is a big deal out of nothing. Who cares who you date as long as it doesn't effect your job..?
 

JaneSmith

Registered Member
So is the problem the male coworker or is the problem that you have never been with a man and you are thinking about exploring that?

Maybe you can start with someone who's not at the same job and see how you like it first. If it's just about sex that's cool.

If you want a long term relationship with another man then you have to consider the lifestyle. Are your parents ok with it, your friends? Can you live with your family not accepting you? You should, it's your life.

Also the gay community has alot to offer. There's so much support these days and much embracing of sexuality. Even the US military doesn't care anymore.
 
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