Problem with some girl

#1
Hello, all. I require advice.

First and foremost, I'd like to mention that I live in the U.S.A (I used to live somewhere else) now, so cultural issues will hopefully not be a problem with this.

It's my second semester at college. There is a girl on campus. I do not know her. Hell, I don't even know her name. But I've seen her lots of times on the hallways. I guess our schedules simply coincide.

I could tell out the corners of my eyes she would always look at me with what looked like unease during my first semester. I found her semi-annoying. She would always look at me nervously and looked away whenever I did look back. This happened at least twice a week.

Second semester, she actually has a class with me. Again, I find her doing the same thing. But now her stares are more...unwelcoming than before. She looks half-nervous/half-mad at me for some reason. But like I said -- I do not know her, not even her name, and she won't hold eye contact for more than a second every time I catch her doing it -- making conversation difficult.

Now, here's where it gets tricky. I initially found her boyish and not very good-looking at all, but it was this "attention" (note the quotes) she kept giving me during 1st semester which gradually made her strangely attractive to me. First I found her annoying, now I find her kind of endearing.

Once in the hallway, we walked directly past each other. She was with a friend and she gave a slight wave of the hand towards
my direction -- not as a greeting, but more as if she were pointing at me, referencing me to this friend.

She said something to her friend, which I did not hear, with a weird smile on her face. It was a smile, but it looked...well...odd. It looked sad or disheartened. Something of the sort. It was a WEAK smile.

At first I thought maybe she had some kinda crush on me, but the problem is, and maybe I'm being paranoid, she seems to REALLY not like me now. Once, I handed her a paper copy that the prof. was giving out. I had to kind of nudge her with it (because she was so absorbed in whatever she was doing) for her to take it. But she took it with a sort of eye-roller look. It was subtle, but I surely sensed SOMETHING. Nervousness, or hostility towards me -- I dunno.

I feel like it is too late now to either make a move or start talking to her (we've never hared a word) as to why she seems not to like me. I've done nothing to her.

Basically, I need advice on how to deal with her. This might sound odd for a guy to say, but what she's doing honestly hurts my feelings because I don't even know her and it makes me feel like she is judging me or something. If she likes me, how can I find out? If she hates me, how can I find out? I just want her to stop doing that. It makes me feel terrible and I do find it distracting during class.

How can I talk to her and find out what her deal is? I feel like there is this unreachable distance between the two of us now after so many days of non-verbal eye games. It would just be too awkward to talk to her, so I need some help on this one: how can I set things right here?
 
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#2
Is there a reason you can't just ask her if you've done something to offend her? It seems silly to worry about this when you have no idea what this is.

You said..

"It would just be too awkward to talk to her"

But, isn't what's going on now even more awkward?
 

DinoFlintstone

"There can be only one!"
#3
I'd suggest if you just ask for to speak to her for one minute.
Just in a short sentence, say [with a reassuring, non creepy smile] that you notice her look at you from time to time as though you have offended or upset her. Explain that if there is anything, then you did not mean to offend, and if anything, you think she seems nice, and that she's nice looking. Then if you said that in short enough a time, just say 'sorry if I got it wrong, but it's just the way I felt when I noticed you look at me.'

You might or might not get a truthful answer from her, but it will surely break the ice and weaken any possible animosity between the pair of you.

Be sure to let us know in this thread how you get on. :)
 

Shikimi_Farkash

Registered Member
#4
You should simply talk to her and ask if you've done something to offend her. I've been in this situation before and it's not fun. Believe me, I know. I never worked up the guts to ask about it, but I know I should have. You should really ask her if you've done something to offend her.