Discussion in 'Art & Creative' started by Jokulhaups, Feb 24, 2008.

  1. Jokulhaups

    Jokulhaups Registered Member

    Are there any threads for poetry anywhere? Because i can't find any, but I havent done a thorough search.

    If not, I'd like to start one here


    Last edited by a moderator: May 29, 2009

  2. Doc

    Doc Trust me, I'm The Doctor. V.I.P.

    How about I stick this and it can be the topic for everyone to share their own poetry?

    Actually, I'm going to do that.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 29, 2009
  3. Jokulhaups

    Jokulhaups Registered Member

    alright well in that case i've got some amateur poetry.

    and i want some serious feedback on it what i need to work on etc. not just o good job and stuff.

    not that i wouldnt like to hear that ;)

    This love of mine has seen it’s day
    Carved it’s course and been it’s way
    ,Watched the sun
    And seen it’s bright ray
    The colors have all gone with day
    The beauty done and creatures become fey
    And here
    Here is joy left to lay

    i have happier ones to
    but I'd like some feedback

    ...ok well i noticed that here is joy left to lay is off center
    its sposed to be center
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2008
  4. Rogue-Joker

    Rogue-Joker Registered Member

    I wirte, I kind of soothes me. I'll put a few in this post, tell me if you like them and i'll post more.

    They are quite long, but good to read. Any criticisms welcome.


    Plastic Smiles.

    The crows encircle me,
    As i walk through this wasteland,
    A can of Hope in one hand
    A lace of freedom in the other.
    When i was 4 you gave me this locket,
    Inside a picture full of fake smiles,
    Fake beleifs, Fake hope, Fake trust,
    Smiles so cold, So bitter,
    "Just look at this picture and we'll be there"
    That means nothing now!
    Were are you when i need you most?
    I have been alone for so long,
    No sign of Beleif, hope or trust!
    But it doesn't matter now,
    This Can of hope will bring us together,
    This lace of freedom will make sure you stay-
    For the show.
    Your fake masqeurade fooled nobody,
    You were to busy chasing your fix,
    To notice the halo above my head,
    I needed you, You obviousley thought different.
    The fake smiles on your face my me sick,
    So Plastic, so fake,
    I would know, I spent my life-
    Hiding behing Fake smiles,
    Reasurring you everything was okay,
    I was dying inside...
    I was on the streets at 7-on my own
    Where was my mother?
    Oh-that's right you were getting
    Drunk off your ass- and screwing
    Heroin needles until your arms were black and blue
    This kerosene will handle all the memories
    Every single stomach churning-acid-
    Burning-turning, sizzling thought
    That leads straight back to both of you
    I was eating out of garbage cans at 9
    Where was my father?
    Oh-that's right you were teaching me
    How to sell ecstasy in alleyways and
    How to run from cops and
    Drugs 101-the very foundation-
    The basics of snorting cocaine-
    And the best way to get your high.
    I want nothing left to do with you,
    I leave every trace of me behind,
    Covering them in thihs can of Hope,
    This can of kerosene,
    Every picture, Every Fake smile-
    Every Lie, Every Deception,
    Every fucking wide eyed promise!
    Not once,
    Did you say "I love you" and mean it,
    Forget all those Goodnight kisses,
    Forget all the hugs you gave me when i hurt myself,
    You never even noticed the scars on my arms,
    3 years it went on,
    I just liked the feeling of tearing myself open,
    Leaving traces of myself behind,
    For other people to see.
    But thats all over now,
    Thiis kerosene will see me to the end,
    See us to the end,
    Gave a chance, you could have stopped me.
    Through It all,
    I always did love you....
    Good night.

    No name

    Take me away from this nghtmare
    Give me Spira or Russia
    Make my video game life come true
    Take me away from this nightmare
    Because i would give anything...Anything
    Just to be you.

    Given the fact that change is for the better,
    I embrace for the worst,
    Living my life behind curtains of false belief,
    I hold my anger behing the walls of terror.
    That you have brought upon my fragile heart,
    Hiding behind the honest truth,
    You never saw that my heart was falling at your feet.
    Hold Me, Love Me,
    Thats all I ask,

    You left me (One of my favourite peices.)

    Never leaving you
    Such beautiful words
    "I will never leave you"
    They echo through my veins,
    And glorify my heart,
    I love you...
    Such elegance,
    Such a breath-taking flow,
    Such Soft lips,
    Such innocent eyes,
    Stay by me forever...
    All the things that are right with the world,
    Get better,
    Fuck Global Warming,
    And the bastards in their Science labs,
    I've Got...You've got me...
    You left me...

    I sit in the corner,
    in complete darkness,
    clutching that note,
    "I'll be home before you know it"
    Yer right,
    I almost believed you,
    Until the booze, the drugs and the sex,
    It all got to your head,
    Whatever happened to me?
    Am i your faded memory?
    I cry myself to sleep every night,
    All in false hope,
    It's my own fault really,
    I know you're not coming back,
    "I'll be home before you know it"
    The words echo in my mind,
    I must have read them over a thousand times,
    My trust in you was stronger than my trust in me,
    You were my rock at hard times,
    But it doesn't matter now,
    The gun in my hand can solve these problems,
    These fears...

    My heart bleeds for you,
    Physical pain is my thought of you,
    What are you doing to yourself,
    "Just one more, give me one more"
    I remeber the day i hid your stash,
    And i will never forget it,
    The 6-inch scar you left on my arm,
    This pain...
    The doctor asked me how i got it y'know,
    It took all the love i had to lie for you,
    Even with all the addiction and violence,
    I couldn't have lived without you there,
    But it doesn't matter now,
    I have the bottle to take my fear,
    And this gun to take my emotion,
    Your emotion...

    "I'll be home before you know it"
    If this statement ever lives up to it's name,
    I hope you have forgot about me,
    Saying that you probably already have,
    Just to let you know,
    I love you,
    you always were the best,
  5. Doc

    Doc Trust me, I'm The Doctor. V.I.P.

    “Loss and Dreams”
    Anytime you are down
    just remember
    to get rid of that frown
    and surrender.
    Something important may be lost,
    and it will go away like the morning frost
    Your dreams may seem quixotic...
    ...but that is no reason to be neurotic.
    If you strive for anything, then keep in mind
    that then you achieve your dream, you will feel divine.
    Because it is holding you back from what you need,
    and that is for you to go out and follow your dreams.
  6. Jokulhaups

    Jokulhaups Registered Member

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]In spring of youth it was my lot
    To haunt of the wide world a spot
    The which I could not love the less-
    So lovely was the loneliness
    Of a wild lake, with black rock bound,
    And the tall pines that towered around.
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]But when the Night had thrown her pall
    Upon that spot, as upon all,
    And the mystic wind went by
    Murmuring in melody-
    Then–ah then I would awake
    To the terror of the lone lake.
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Yet that terror was not fright,
    But a tremulous delight-
    A feeling not the jewelled mine
    Could teach or bribe me to define-
    Nor Love–although the Love were thine.
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Death was in that poisonous wave,
    And in its gulf a fitting grave
    For him who thence could solace bring
    To his lone imagining-
    Whose solitary soul could make
    An Eden of that dim lake.

    The Lake-Edgar Allen Poe

    Poe is by far my favorite poet who has ever lived.​
  7. Kazmarov

    Kazmarov For a Free Scotland

    Slaves to drums
    Killer instincts, alien
    Not from soul, implanted hate
    Patriots are those who serve
    Patriots are those who obey
    Patriots are those who kill
    Patriots are those who die
    Feel the beat
    Frenzied instincts
    Dance without conscience
    Dance without sanity​
  8. Unity

    Unity #AllTogetherNowSTL Staff Member

    Behind her smile is the song of a Seraphim
    Is joy

    Behind her clothes is flawless, sensual skin
    Is truth

    Behind her skin is a heart of infinite compassion
    Is passion

    Behind her diamond eyes is a goddess' soul
    Is transcendence

    Behind my masquerade is love
    Is poetry
  9. Obsessiforge

    Obsessiforge - Diderot Reborn -

    this was a poem I wrote for my school's Lit Mag, which incidentally was edited by GF's Kazmarov.

    God invented corners for a reason
    Two sides to enclose you
    Two sides to expose you
    Like the friend who really knows you
    Two sides to keep you safe

    From the inside, a corner represents enclosure
    A reason to stand still, curl up, and stay
    But from the outside…
    it marks change
    An angle is a new leaf, turning at the point

    God invented corners for a reason
    You can use them however you like
    You look at the world, all you really see is angles
    Angles and curves
    Each an opportunity to hide from the world
    Or whip around it on a dime

    Two sides to enclose you
    Two sides to expose you

    So it really comes down to which two you turn to
    Two sides meet to cast a shadow
    Turn to them for blissful ignorance
    Turn to them for stifling blindness
    Two stay open to the world
    Turn to them when you want to see
    Turn to them to be blinded again

    Really, we’re all blind in the end
    Folds are corners, corners are folds
    We’ve been blinded by folds
    Or so I’ve been told

    Can’t see for myself, can I?

  10. Unity

    Unity #AllTogetherNowSTL Staff Member

    Great writing, forge!

Share This Page