Playing the Coy Card

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by Italiano, Jul 7, 2009.

  1. Italiano

    Italiano Film Elitist

    Have you ever liked someone but you feared that they might not like you or you were intimidated by them so you played coy hoping they would make the first move and not you?

    Weirdest thing happened to me the other day which I will go into detail later.

    Anyways, I'm not necessarily talking about playing hard to get, but being reserved and conservative as to how open you are with another person for the sake that you find them attractive and/or fancy them.

    To anyone who does this or has experienced this phenomena I ask how do you feel about the coy card? Does it work? Is it despicable? Annoying? How badly do you really want to say something to the other person?

    Last edited: Jul 7, 2009

  2. AnitaKnapp

    AnitaKnapp It's not me, it's you. V.I.P. Lifetime

    I'm not seeing much difference between coy and flirting. Doesn't bother me in the least if it's used on me.

    I also use it quite often, and it seems to work well for me. It's just a way to gauge if someone is interested, IMO.
  3. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    Well, some people want a direct approach so some may be turned off by the "coy card" but I don't think many people will see it as either a plus or minus. Personally, I think it's not the greatest idea since most people do not enjoy making the first move and thus being coy supports a stalemate.

    What experience did you have Italiano?
  4. Italiano

    Italiano Film Elitist

    I wouldn't consider being coy on the same plane as flirting.

    Flirting is more of a point of action in hitting on someone or attempting to grab the attention of another. Being coy is more modest and timid rather than proactive.
  5. AnitaKnapp

    AnitaKnapp It's not me, it's you. V.I.P. Lifetime


    Well then I use coy for a purpose. I like to date people who have a more aggressive personality than I do. I do not like to make all the moves in the relationship, so I use coy as a base to gauge the responses of the object of my affection.
  6. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    Italiano, can you detail this experience you had? You mentioned it and never explained.
  7. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    I played the coy card but not for the same reasons as stated in the OP. I felt the person liked me already as I am, so I was afraid he might stop showing the same interest if he knew I liked him as much (or more) back.

    It's stupid really. I ended up just being honest about how I feel because it made me feel uncomfortable to pretend otherwise.
  8. Italiano

    Italiano Film Elitist

    YES. That's exactly what I'm talking about. That's similar to what happened to me except my case an extreme rarity (at least I'd like to think so. If this happens frequently that means there are more people like me out there. The world doesn't need more fuckheads like me).

    Like many conflicts of interest today it all started with a woman that I like. She goes to my school and admittedly I haven't liked anyone like this in a long time.

    I worked with her on a few film shoots and for a while I never really talked to her. I found her quite physically attractive but I got certain vibes from her that made me think she was a particular type of girl I wouldn't like. I was dead wrong about her.

    She started talking to me a lot more and she pulled a 180 on me. She grew on me and I really took a fancy to her. I had a plan to tell her that I liked her but she kept having relapses and second thoughts about her ex and I didn't want to muddle that up even more so I let it be and aborted mission. After that I figured I just had to forget that I ever liked her and move on.

    After this school year let out we kept in touch on IM and just talked for hours at a time. She stopped seeing her ex and she kept saying she wanted to move on to something better. We talked about almost anything from hobbies, goals in life, past relationships, movies, sex, etc.

    I always threw her hints that I liked her or found her very aimable and she also did te same. However we never admitted to actually liking each other. Every so often there would be a small flirt here or there but nothing progressive.

    This went on for a couple months.

    Finally one day we asked each other what kind of person we liked and the more she described her ideal person... it strangely sounded a lot like she was describing me. Thinking it was coincidential and paranoia I disregrarded it and moved on.

    Then I asked her if she liked anyone in particular. She said she did. He went to the same school and lived in New England. I asked if she knew if he also liked her. She said she thought he did but because she had a relapse with her ex she thought she scared him off and he had moved on... Sonuvabitch.

    She was describing me the entire time... AGAIN!

    So I mustered up and... still didn't tell her- GODAMMIT!

    Well it doesn't end there either. Recently we were texting each other and she made a comment about herself and how she didn't think she was that attractive... Baiting me. Well I responded saying that she shouldn't feel that way because she's a cutie and that I found her attractive in other ways. She told me she was glad to hear that and I asked why.

    She said "Oh come on, it's obvious..."

    "Well, I guess that means the cat's out of the bag huh"

    We finally admitted to liking each other and on top of that a week before all this happened we scheduled a time to hang out cause we just wanted to see each other. WE SET UP A DATE BEFORE IT EVEN WAS ONE. How does this happen?


    Well I suppose... oh who the fuck am I kidding I'm excited for it.
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2009
  9. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    God Italiano you're thick :lol:

    Still haven't changed in the fifteen years I've known you. Good luck though dude, I know you've had some rocky relationships, here's to new beginnings.
  10. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    I wouldn't be with my boyfriend today if he hadn't have made the first move. I really liked him from the start but I didn't think he'd be interested in me. We hit it off and were getting along but deep down I felt like he was just being friendly. I felt so pleased when he asked for my number.

    I have always been quite shy and I know I would never have admitted to him that I liked him if he hadn't have asked for my number.

Share This Page