Phrases you'd rather not hear in the British Army

Discussion in 'The Bathroom Wall' started by Nevyrmoore, Nov 28, 2007.

  1. Nevyrmoore

    Nevyrmoore AKA Ass-Bandit

    • We're sending you to 224 Signal Squadron
    • "You know I told you I was over sixteen ? Well..."
    • You've got three weeks to live
    • The Americans will be providing the close air support.
    • You're posted to Tidworth
    • Your new Troop Sgt has just done P company
    • Leave is cancelled
    • Your dad is fucking your sister
    • Pick up the log
    • Step to the time I call out
    • Do you accept my award
    • It's character building
    • I'm sorry, Sir, but I've had to remove your penis and both your testicles
    • We've always done it that way!
    • You are cordially invited to the 3 Para Mortar Platoon Rohypnol Party
    • My office. Now.
    • Move to Grid 12345678 where the helicopters will pick you up at 0300.
    • Do you have anything planned for leave?
    • It's your turn to blow the blind grenade.
    • OK, integrity question, did you do it?
    • I think it's yours
    • Crack, Crack, Ping, Ping, THUMP.
    • Sunray is down.
    • Breaking into double time
    • Taking you a stage further in your foot drill......... I left you in this position
    • Rifle exercises judging the time.......
    • Reveille 05 early hours and Drill until NAAFI break
    • Contact, wait..out.
    • Follow me, it's a short cut.
    • Of course the Claymore is pointing away from us...er..which way are WE pointing ?
    • Good effort lads, outstanding entry drills, but it's the wrong house.
    • Has anyone seen the enemy? Right! You- Draw Fire.
    • He's waking up, pass the KY, it's better when they fight back.
    • GAS GAS GAS
    • The RMP are in the block
    • You feature rather a lot in the Christmas duty list
    • I forgot to tell you, I've got herpes
    • You will need this opened umberella dragged from your piss slit
    • Don't make plans for the weekend
    • The PRE team have just come through the gates
    • You'll get it in theatre
    • Is that it?
    • We're all out of them, fill out all these forms and we will indent for them.
    • There's an Officer in here improperly dressed...
    • It's your round.
    • Too slow, do it again!
    • Standby....
    • CDT are here??
    • ONE! Two, Three, ONE!!
    • Mr Vice...that'll be a bottle of port
    • You're in your own time now.
    • My tea's a salad.
    • Shit rolls down hill.
    • Bug out!!!
    • Standby your beds!
    • You're up first. Now.
    • It's either cancer or penile warts.
    • The RSM wants your feet in his in tray NOW.
    • Tony needs something to whip up voter support and he's decided on another war.
    • We're giving free lighters to Labour peers.
    • Right, lads, this one's a silent breach.
    • Bend over. This may smart a bit!
    • We need a decoy....
    • You shure got a prurty mouth.....
    • If it ain't raining it ain't training.
    • Soldier, I'm the Platoon Commander, I should have the map.
    • Right-ho chaps, I know where we are, follow me!
    • Can you just have a quick look at my 432?
    • More Tea Vicar
    • Don't worry lads. I was in the RAF you know.
    • Has anyone actually read the manual Sgt?
    • One volunteer required!
    • Just a shandy for me please.
    • All leave is cancelled until morale improves.
    • Iraq? Is that near Catterick?
    • Mmmmm...I think it's time to PVR.
    • You'll like Osnabruck its a great posting?
    • The alert states gone up and we need to double the guard!
    • Remove your canister and take a deep breath.
    • Can I see his Conduct Sheets Sergeant Major.
    • 14 Days Restiction of Privliges, March Out!
    • Open your lockers?
    • Report to the cookhouse/kitchen for DROs.
    • Well, we finished an hour early , and as it's such a pleasant day...
    • AGAI 67...
    • Tony has decided to send troops to the Lebanon on peace keeping duties.....
    • .........using UN rules of engagement........
    • .................with only 2 rounds each......
    • .....................which have to last you the whole tour!
    • Ok lads we've got a choice. Either The US Army air corps A-10's do our close air support ... or its RAF Harriers!
    • Greenie to the pan!
    • Cyprus is cancelled lads. Budget cuts from LAND I'm afraid. However, we managed to get Sennybridge at short notice for April.
    • Do you know you have glowstick on your helmet?
    • We need you to lay this coms line... if you see the minefield your going the right way...
    • I'm tired, you can finish yourself off...
    • For you, Tommy, the war is over!
     

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