• Welcome to the PopMalt Forums! Whether you're new to forums or a veteran, welcome to our humble home on the web! We're a 20-year old forum community with thousands of discussions on entertainment, lifestyle, leisure, and more.

    Our rules are simple. Be nice and don't spam. Registration is free, so what are you waiting for? Join today!.

Passive Aggressive Boyfriend

JaneSmith

Registered Member
So the relationship has it's ups and downs. Seems like when I feel good about the relationship he feels like he needs to get control and shoots me down. Then he's happy but he's really offering me nothing. I like the guy but how long should I wait for him to make a move toward something that's not passive aggressive?

He's really amazing, smart, talented, well travelled, great in bed, charming, high ranking in his job, attractive, and we have the same exact interests, he just always wants to dominate. I'm not a woman who stays in the kitchen! It's like I'm competing with him... it's so annoying.

Advice please!
 

generalblue

Where is my Queen?
Oh why, I don't think that this relationship is going to last. I have to seen to many relationships doomed by exactly what you have mentioned. You need to stop giving him benefits (if you know what I mean) and maybe he will change.

I know with my girlfriend, that we are equals, she thinks that she is in control but it is pretty much even. I got in a bad accident last weekend and I told her I am not drinking when I go out anymore...she has not had a drink since then and I wanted her to stop drinking while going out as well but I never told her. She has not even picked a glass of wine since the accident, while I have only beers at the house. Plus I never told her that I wanted her to do the same thing, she just did it. For a relationship to work I believe you have to be equals at everything you do and not force each other to do something. You have feel each others pain and adapt to the changes...bottomline is if he cares about you, he will accept you as an equal and he will adapt.
 

Dabs

Registered Member
If you're not 100% happy...and you don't see it ever becoming that way, why stay??
All relationships have their ups and downs.....ask yourself...is yours more up or more down??
Have you tried sitting his ass down and having a serious talk with him??
Tell him your feelings...he obviously doesn't have a problem letting you know his.
It should be a 50/50 partnership.......I hope it gets better for you :)
Take care~
 

Jeanie

still nobody's bitch
V.I.P.
You don't strike me as the kind of person to consider staying in a relationship like that for even a minute. Passive-aggressive is absolutely the lowest.
 

konboye

Registered Member
Communication, this calls for a seat-down. I just don't understand how we all think our relationships can develop without PROPER communication, unless you and your partner are having some kind of "telekinesis". You have to tell him how you feel, is this going to be an impasse? Can we work things out and get past this? Because this is definitely the defining moment in your relationship. Let him know, then you will know how far he is willing to go.
 

JaneSmith

Registered Member
Thanks guys. Looks like I'll change my facebook status from "in a sucky relationship" to "single".
 

Dabs

Registered Member
Gosh Jane, I'm sure I speak for all when I say, glad we could help.
And if I may say.......you are better off "single".....if you had yourself listed as in a sucky relationship ~LoL~
(I'm not laughing at you btw, just thought it was comical to see you put that)
 

oxyMORON

A Darker Knight
Maybe he has some insecurities. That's why he always feels the need to be in control. Reassure him that everything's fine or let it be known that he's acting this way and find out why. It takes a bit of prodding to get a guy to spill the beans, so if he resists at first, don't give up.
 
Top