Others' opinions

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by EllyDicious, Jun 21, 2010.

  1. EllyDicious

    EllyDicious made of AMBIGUITY V.I.P. Lifetime

    I'm sure we've had threads like this before ...

    Do you consider others' opinions when they talk bad/say things about someone else [either privately or publicly]?
    If yes, up to what extent?
    If no, why?

    I try to create my own opinion, but at the same time I keep in mind what's being said around about that person.

  2. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    What other people say about a person is rarely relevant since in order to determine what you truly think about an individual requires your own unique input. If you rely on other peoples' opinions only (or mostly) then you're going to see them through tainted eyes. I'm sure a lot of people on here have been the victims of rumor mongering as it seems human nature to do so and they'll tell you that it's uncomfortable and makes it difficult to not hate those doing it. It also makes it quite difficult to not hate the sheep that just follow the rest of the herd when that opinion is shared.
  3. theotherone

    theotherone Registered Member

    It depends on the person doing the talking. If I don't know them very well, if they are just a gossip, or if I usually don't agree with them, I don't give much weight to their opinions and I am likely to double check anything they said before just assuming it's true.

    If it's someone I know doesn't exaggerate often and whose opinion I know I usually agree with, I'm much more likely to let their opinion impact the way I think about whoever it is.
  4. AnitaKnapp

    AnitaKnapp It's not me, it's you. V.I.P. Lifetime

    I do consider them...but I am mostly a trusting person who will give anyone a chance. I feel that most people deserve at least one. Sometimes it has gotten me into trouble, and sometimes it has gotten me hurt, but I don't regret doing it most of the time.
  5. Kibi

    Kibi Babeasaurus Sex

    I don't really heed peoples opinions of others...generally people others don't like tend to be my best friends...

    Too many people have too many opinions on what is normal, or good, or right or low opinions of others that are snap judgements or based on personal experience alone which is fine I wont ask you to like that person but until they're horrid to me (and even then I'm too forgiving sometimes) I will not condemn that person.
  6. JessEpiphany

    JessEpiphany Registered Member

    I can't judge a person based on what someone else thinks of them. I just have to form my own opinion.
    The sad thing is that there have been a few times when I should have trusted the opinions of others- could have saved myself being taken advantage of.
  7. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    Consider? Yes. Information is information. It's better to know things than not know and get surprised. But it's more like, "Noted."

    I know it frustrates some people. I can tell whether someone talking to me is simply venting or trying to manipulate me to agree with him/her. I'll listen alright. I might even understand why you feel that way. But remember that when you badmouth someone to me with hope of getting me to feel the same way you do, you're losing brownie points.
    Sim likes this.
  8. Sim

    Sim Registered Member

    Couldn't agree more.

    It's despicable how entire groups of friends fall apart just because people try to manipulate (often without noticing) and are easily manipulated (often without noticing). I've just witnessed a friend of mine falling apart with her buddies because of just that. Maybe that's why I prefer groups with few people/four eye talks much over large mobs.

    Another golden rule I hold dear is "never attribute to malice what can easily be explained by ignorance". A lot of trouble could be avoided if people took this rule to heart.

    When I have a fight with someone, it's only between the two of us and nobody else is supposed to think bad of my opponent. Usually, I don't even do it myself -- it takes a while before I take a fight personally. I think it only happened once in my life, when one of my supposedly best friends constantly tried to badmouth me behind my back and even attempted to get his hands on my then girlfriend. But even him, I forgave after a few weeks, when I realized he was really embarressed after I confronted him and was not likely to do it again.
  9. theotherone

    theotherone Registered Member

    SO TRUE. This can be hard to remember when you feel like you're being attacked, but I have definitely learned that often it's based on a misunderstanding or a matter of miscommunication.
  10. storm_ina_C_cup

    storm_ina_C_cup Registered Member

    Nope. Because I like to find out for myself.

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