Ok I have one...on the personal side

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by TGirl, May 18, 2005.

  1. TGirl

    TGirl Registered Member

    You must know I am feeling pretty comfortable in here to spill this out like this...but here I go..

    I have these new neighbors on either side of me.........one is a divorced gal with three kids(moved in in March).........the other is a hubby, wife and three kids(moved in in April)

    The divorced Gal...screams constantly at her kids...I mean she is down right mean to them........stresses of life maybe??? being a single mom??? Not sure, but this is not a new thing, because they talk to her the same way..they all have learned to communicate this way to eachother.....

    The other family....Hubby works away from home....mom stays home and raises the kids...she does not yell at the kids...she is super nice....so nice that SHE IS THE COOL MOM...yes I DID find this intemidating....at one time I was the cool mom...lol

    So this cool mom has been doing somethings that make me look bad to my kids.......for instance.....I tell my kids they can only play in our yard and under no circumstances are they allowed to go into anyone's house...(I am just real protective and my kids know these rules and are ok with them, until now) So she asks them to come in and they say they can't...she tells them that my rules are stupid and if they WERE HER kids they would not have to put up with it....
    Another for instance: she knocks on my door last friday night and asked me what I was feeding my kids for dinner (which I thought was weird) I said well its Friday and we make sandwiches or soup for dinner so I get the night off cooking (I should not have even responded) She lets herself in my house and looks at my kids and says..look kids I have a box of corn dogs in my freezer and that will be better for you..(WHAT???) Then I say NO, they are having what we are having and I am sure it is much better for them than a corndog...I know that I sounded rude, but I thought what she did was rude...

    There is many more things..and a lot of underminding my authority of with my children...So I tell my kids to stay on one side of the lawn oppisite where they live...but see I love her kids...they are sweethearts and I can't lock my kids up in the house when it is so nice outside.....but I have never had the problems with my kids that I am having now...they whine and throw fits more, because so in so's mom would let them do this and so in so's mom lets her kids play everywhere...and so in so's mom lets them walk a mile to the store....in the last week I don't know how many times I have been told by my kids I am mean and even the little one told me that the neighbor mom said she could come live with her.......I have been a wreak... I cry and I am sad, because I feel like this lady is brainwashing my kids...

    So, tonight she comes to my door crying...CRYING...Tells me that I am her only friend and she considers me her best friend (we have known eachother not even a month) I go outside and she said she wanted to know what she has done to me for me not to even wave to her when she drives by....So I let her have it (nicley) I told her she can not undermind my authority with my kids..I would never step on another mothers toes like that...mothers just don't do that to eachother....she barley let me finish before she called the kids over (MY KIDS) and commenced to call them liers and brats for treating ME so badly.......she made my 7 year old start to cry and made her tell me THE TRUTH about a lot of things...but I could see my daughter was being forced to say something that is not true.....So now mother bear comes out and I demand her to remove herself from my property and that she was no longer welcome....I told her NO ONE TREATS MY KIDS LIKE THAT.......
    I believe in displine and I believe not to let the children run our lives...and no matter how badly they have treated me this last week...I still love them and I will not have someone else treating them like scum...but they did not learn for that tonight....after she left it was not long before I was being compared to her again and she was still the good guy......I want to move so bad, my husband said "LETS GO" but it is so hard to pack everything up and move......I feel like I live in hell now.....only family playing with our minds and the others yelling at eachother constantly........uuuugggg
    Tell me am I just being a jealous mom...or is there something wrong with my neighbor.........Please tell me if I handled this wrong.......
    ~Trina~
     

  2. SamusAran86

    SamusAran86 Registered Member

    I think you handled the situation fine, and it sounds like to have a nuerotic neighbor
     
  3. doubles2004

    doubles2004 Registered Member

    Trina
    Its not you. its your neighbor. there your kids what right does she have to tell them anything .And to walk in your house and tell your kids that. I dont think so .Stand your ground your there mom not her.Sure your kids are going to say things like that to you .When she is putting it there minds .You done right your kids will see it in the long run .I wouldnt let her do this anymore

    for what its worth thats my 2 cents
     
  4. Nanner

    Nanner Registered Member

    I would of had a big ol catfight in my front yard with the bitch! As I was reading, before I got to the end, I was thinking "MOVE" Drastic step for sure but think about it.....summer hasn't even started yet. It is bound to only get worse. No you are not being a jealous Mom. You are being a Mom who wants to raise her own kids.....not have them be told what they can and can't do by some stranger. (and strange this woman is!!! Her best friend? Says something about her if after knowing you for such a short time she says that. Appariently she wasn't too popular where she was before....and corn dogs vs soup/sandwiches? Ahhhh ok...) As for them still comparing you to "her" after all of this....I wouldn't worry too much about it (for now). Kids will be kids and whatever they think will work to get their way they'll give it a shot. Once they realize you aren't going to cave (and assuming this person has no more influence on them) I'll bet they let up on that. Anyway I'm not saying MOVE NOW or anything like that but if it was me I'd really be thinking about it....especially if your hubby is in agreement and financially it's possible. Life is hard enough. Being a parent is hard enough. Who needs this crap if you don't have to?
     
  5. momtobrenna

    momtobrenna Registered Member

    Oh i am so sorry. That woman is a mess. She is nuts. Don't worry about your kids. They'll come around.
    Stay strong. ;)
     
  6. fairyquadmother

    fairyquadmother Registered Member

    Nutcase!!

    Build a fence... a solid privacy fence. that ought to get her goat. And yes, you have a right to ask your children not to play in her yard, or in her house, and I commend them for minding you, even when she said it was ok. I'm not sure mine would think it was bad at that point, they are sometimes a bit gulible.

    I don't know if I'd let that be a factor of whether I moved or not. I guess you're more financially secure than I, and if you can and you want to, then I wouldn't stop you. BUT, your children will learn to run from a little diversity every time it comes up. You can teach your children a lot by saying "Oh, well that's an interesting angle" and "No thank you, we like soup better than corn dogs". (with a smile)

    She's obviously getting something in return by getting your goat. Even you said you are jealous of her being the new "cool mom". She probably feeds off of jealousy and has to be "liked". Stop acting jealous around her. Smile and be polite. By being a bitch back to her (she did deserve it) she knows she got you.

    I always give people the opposite response that they want when they are grating on my nerves. It confuses them, they don't get what they want, and they go away.

    Course, I'm a stand my ground and battle at any cost kinda girl too. (ie: jerk auctions. lol).

    Lana
     
  7. Msbabedoll

    Msbabedoll Registered Member

    THis lady has got to be on drugs!! First off I would sit my kids down and explain to them how much I love them and I have these rules because I love them and dont want anything to happen to them. And then ask them, would you want to be treated like (the neighboor lady) treated you the other day? Because she might be all nice now, but you seen how bad she can be. And I love you because you are my children and it hurts me to see someone trying to come between us. Have fun with the neighboor kids, but please respect me, because I am your mother and I love you more than anyone ever can!!

    I think when you sit kids down and get down to their level they can relate to what you are saying more........

    I hope you get things worked out! That lady is nuts!!!
     
  8. TGirl

    TGirl Registered Member

    I am not sure what acting jealous is toward her...when I got upset??? ok well before all this came to a head I treated her very nice...and so did she to me....even times that she had done something I blew it off....I just got tired of it and my wonderful kids treating me so bad...

    I am not trying to run from my problems...I was here first...but I don't want to live in the ghetto!!! That is what this place seems to have turned into...I got fowl words flying loudly out of one house all the time and the other playing games with my mind...

    And the comment on drugs...I had wondered if she did.....she is real antsy and studders alot...(I think that is when she is lying though) ohhhh I don't know that could just be her...I have never really seen her calm and relaxed...she is always movin...

    anyway thank you all for the advice....

    ~Trina~
     
  9. fairyquadmother

    fairyquadmother Registered Member

    That's where i got the "jealousy" thing. I didn't mean to offend you in any way. I think maybe her goal is to make herself out to be the "coolest mom" and maybe that bugs you. It would me!

    There's a difference (big one) between being a cool mom and a good mom... and you can be both.

    I think I'm cool (I guess if I think I am, I'm probably not lol). We have an open door policy with my son's friends, although one of them I don't like. His best friend calls me mom and says "love you" (even tho I think he's kidding around, I do adore this kid). I let my kid buy his *own* cell phone, my ex and I bought the little one a kick ass bike (stingray) for xmas, etc. BUTTTT.. all that comes at a price. I'm also very strict. Cross my path and we will rumble. Do as I say and do it with respect.

    There's a line. You've always done a good job at keeping behind that line and teaching your kids well. Someone comes along and not only steps over the line, but tries to move the line to suit her and make her look better.

    I agree with Jen, you need to have a sit down with the kids (redrawing the line) and stick up to the neighbor cow (which you did a good job of that).

    If you can, and want to move, then you should move. But no matter where you go, there'll always be one sucky neighbor :p Been there done that.
     
  10. TGirl

    TGirl Registered Member

    I didn't take offence at what you said....I was just clariflying....I can't get upset when I asked for advise.....I loved this place till..maybe we got neighbors...lol

    and I did talk to the kids and they said she is mean and I told them that was not my point in this conversation.....that they still need to respect because she is a adult...but respect me and dad first and our rules....and we do love them and we just want to keep them safe....daughter (12) and daughter (7) are so impressionable...they have no idea....and like I said her kids are great...love them to death....

    But my 12 year old I am having the most problems with (about me being mean) because she said she can desifer what is right and wrong...but she has proved different....She was so good before all this.... sad!!

    uuuggggg I don't know.....I guess I just need to pray a little harder!!!

    ~Trina~
     

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