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Not sure what to do.

Harrii

New Member
well, i used to go out with this guy about 8 months ago but we didnt see much of each other as it was during exams and we wasnt really looking for a serious relationship at the time so we decided to end it and just stay friends which i was happy with.

and he has been going out with a friend of mine for the past 4 months and im really good friends with her.
+ me and him have a really close relationship, best friends if you like. spend alot of time with each other but purely on a friendship basis.

but now i am starting to like him more than a friend and im mean like really like him.

but i know i cannot do anything about it as i don't want to split them up and dont want to loose either of them. so im really confused

advice guys? :)

x
 

Tucker

Lion Rampant
Hi, Harrii. It's good that you're bringing in some random opinions with something as big as this. There's often conflict between the strong positive feelings that we might develop for someone we find special and the social obligations that are expected of us. You're in a position where you really can't pursue both things and I can see why you're confused about it.

The fact that you did look us up and you posted your dilemma tends to make me think that you're not inclined to make the decision that puts you first and has all the potential negative consequences for three separate relationships. With that assumption for now, let me say this: we are not held responsible for what we think and feel, only for what we do. If you choose not to act while they're together, you keep your self-respect and your friends. It may make you more lonely and you could give up in disgust, or you might find it not so bad to have him around to admire and think, "Damn, she's a lucky one." Maybe he'll become single again while you still want him; maybe not. As much as that sucks hard, I don't get the sense from your post that you're prepared to simply take what you want (if you can) and let the chips fall where they may. And I definitely wouldn't recommend it for you.

Of course, longing rarely goes away overnight. I know it's no easy solution to keep your feelings under wraps. But don't let them cause you to miss out. You're obviously young, so there should be no end of chances ahead for someone amazing to come along and show you the love you need. Going by what you've said here, I really think that's your best bet.

I wish you all luck and I hope that you can stick around to enjoy this great site.
 
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Daemonic

Registered Member
I agree with tucker, but for the sake of throwing in another possible way of looking at things I will play devils advocate for a moment. The dating game can be viewed as just that, a game. While it is respectable that you do not want to lose any of them the dating world is competitive. You like him a lot, so do you take a risk or wait and see where things go? Eventually, you may have a chance again, but maybe not. Personally, from my perspective if you tried to get him to cheat that would be very wrong. On the other hand, if you put out signals and let him do what he wanted with them that would be different.

It's up to you, how important is having a relationship with this person? Is it worth risking the loss of a friendship? That is your choice....

I think you need to evaluate the importance of both your potential relationship and friendship to make a decision.
 
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EllyDicious

made of AMBIGUITY
V.I.P.
but i know i cannot do anything about it as i don't want to split them up and dont want to loose either of them. so im really confused

advice guys? :)
Stay out. That is all.

Sonnilon said:
It's up to you, how important is having a relationship with this person? Is it worth risking the loss of a friendship? That is your choice....
And I totally agree with this.

Also, what goes around comes around.
If he cheats on your friend with you, chances are he'll cheat on you too [not necessarily with a common friend though].
 

Harrii

New Member
i totally agree with you
but hes that important to me i'd' rather no get involved and see him happy, but still being able to spend time with him is great for me, i know he really cares for me.

i would love for a relationship with him but im just going to leave it and stay friends with him while hes with her. never know there might be a chance for me in the future.

thanks for helping me towards the right choice.

:) x
 

Konshentz

Konshentz
Bury those feelings for now & just hope they split up before they fade away.
 

Sam_Williams

Registered Member
It's completely down to you, but the fact you are holding back at the moment shows you probably don't want to get involved with their relationship, intervening may result in losing on or even both of them. It'll be best to hold back for now. If your feelings begin to get stronger for him maybe tell her about it?
 

MiraDutch

Registered Member
im one of those people who think you can fall for any guy, you just need the right connection.. if you have that connection nd attraction = baddabing baddaboom love. anyways.. i understand ur situation is akward, but u should realize that friends r the most important thing in life. Yes you live your own life, but without friends its no fun! lots of love mira.
 
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