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Not everyone will like you, right?

emmyandmax

New Member
I came to accept that nobody is liked by everyone, but I’m still struggling with the fact that this rule also applies to me. I need everyone to like me to keep my sanity. There will always be people who like me and those who don’t. That’s just life. Yet, I keep struggling to accept that not everyone’s gonna like me. I just go crazy when someone don’t. And it’s ruined my whole life.

When I first started at college, everyone talked to me but Jessica. Before I met Jessica, I behaved myself and was on good terms with everyone. Then I met Jessica, who disliked me from DAY 1 w/o ever giving it a chance. I just didn’t get it and grew jealous as she talked to other people. I begged her and gave her $$$, which just disgusted her. Pretty soon, I cursed out everyone else for an anger outlet and even once screamed obscenities in the coffee shop. I also had a car accident over that girl. In the end, I hit and threw stuff on top of my verbal spewing and that was the last time I been on campus.

At work, a girl named Emily won’t be my friend. It didn’t matter that everyone else talked to me. In the beginning, I was more passive aggressive. I stood by the fitting room instead of working bc Emily worked in the nearby department. I got a poor eval for not producing. I also begged and paid her money only to get written up for harassment. I also remember resisting people greeting bc Emily was a cashier and I knew being near her would trigger me to keep begging. Finally, I exploded at Melissa on the sales floor and physically assaulted an object in front of customers. I got canned for workplace violence.

At the job after that, I started out with everyone talking to me, that is, everyone but Kyra. She seemed to be ignoring me, from DAY 1. However, I just assumed she didn’t like talking all that much, so I tried talking to her more and more. And the first several months, I behaved myself bc I didn’t even know Kyra hated me. When she finally told me we weren’t friends, I felt really slighted. I ended up begging and giving her $$$ and since I worked at the store level, they called corporate on me. Because of my jealousy issues, I treated her friends like crap and got written up for that. (And flicked off my boss in the process.) I also stared at her on my days off and finally screamed at my boss publicly. I got suspended, then ostracized when I came back, so I quit.

The job I was successful at was a department store job. I did good because I didn’t meet anyone who disliked me. That’s how come I got an award for customer service for April 2008. I used to think too bad there’s not more places like that. Now that I hit rock bottom, I realized I have a problem. How do I change? I’m already in counseling and meds. Any help would be appreciated. thanks.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
I am glad you're in counselling. Give it time and I am sure it will help you overcome this problem.

I am confused why you would give people money in order to like you. Why and when did that start?

You do need to get used to the idea that not everyone is going to like you. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. In fact, it doesn't even mean they dislike you. It just means that everyone has different likes/dislikes, standards/morals. You just have to find what it is that makes you click with someone.
There's lots of reasons why people would stop themselves from getting to know you. Some people might find it hard to trust, some people might like to be loners, some people might want their friends to look a certain way (might sound crazy but it happens) and others could genuinely dislike you for whatever reason.

You should stop trying to please everyone because it won't work. Unless you've done something to upset a person then there's no reason you should let it get to you. We don't live in a perfect world and if we did then it'd probably be pretty boring. Don't you think?
 

EllyDicious

made of AMBIGUITY
V.I.P.
In some cases, being liked by everyone means to have a lot of personalities/characters inside of you, adaptable to everyone. This makes it hard for you to know and be your own self.
I guess you also like to be everyone's attention by being liked by them and can't stand the fact that some dislike you be ignoring you.

It's good that you have come to the point of accepting your problem. That's a one big real step which will help you fight this negative feeling.
 

emmyandmax

New Member
I am glad you're in counselling. Give it time and I am sure it will help you overcome this problem.

I am confused why you would give people money in order to like you. Why and when did that start?

You do need to get used to the idea that not everyone is going to like you. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. In fact, it doesn't even mean they dislike you. It just means that everyone has different likes/dislikes, standards/morals. You just have to find what it is that makes you click with someone.
There's lots of reasons why people would stop themselves from getting to know you. Some people might find it hard to trust, some people might like to be loners, some people might want their friends to look a certain way (might sound crazy but it happens) and others could genuinely dislike you for whatever reason.

You should stop trying to please everyone because it won't work. Unless you've done something to upset a person then there's no reason you should let it get to you. We don't live in a perfect world and if we did then it'd probably be pretty boring. Don't you think?
I paid these 3 girls $$$ to be my friend cuz I was desperate. I didn't know what else to do.
 
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