Nights Out

EllyDicious

made of AMBIGUITY
V.I.P.
#1
I know we've had similar threads before ... anyway ... I wanted to ask you:

How much would you tolerate your SO to have night out-s with his/her friends but not with you?
Up to what point?

I was talking with my cousin today and she said she wouldn't want her fiance to go out with his boys for a night out, at a club/pub...whatever....otherwise it would mean their relationship was falling apart. According to her, he should not feel uncomfortable taking her out with his friends and their girlfriends.

I disagreed a bit because, [according to me] everyone needs their own spaces in a relationship whether it's a girls-night-out or boys-night-out...
Of course, this doesn't have to happen every week...or..I don't know ..

What do you think?
Are the frequent nights-out a bad sign for the relationship?
 

storm_ina_C_cup

Registered Member
#2
Tolerate??? See, these are the kinds of things that give relationships bad press. Just because you're in a committed relationship doesn't mean your independence, freedom to do what you wish, blahblahblah should come to an end, be monitored or controlled by your partner (or you).

Both my husband and I have evenings, weekends away with the girls / boys where we go out with our friends and do our own thing, etc. from time to time; I trust him, he trusts me and to be honest, that's what it all boils down to, trusting one another.
 

idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
#3
My most recent SO always said that we should not do anything without each other. He said I was his best friend and he does not want to go anywhere where I could not go with him. He was also a bit of an asshole, so there goes that!

I think it's very important for both parties to have an aspect of a life apart from each other as well, even if just to stop you from becoming that nagging couple joined at the hip. I agree with Ccup and tip my hat at her for the way she and her SO deal with this. I would definitely want a similar set up in any future relationship. Like she says though, trust is the key here though.
 

Iris

rainbow 11!
#4
I believe that nights out away from each other can definitely be beneficial. It's something that both people will need if they want to try and keep a stable relationship, in my opinion. It's healthy to want time away sometimes, just as long as it's something you are always wanting.
 

storm_ina_C_cup

Registered Member
#5
My most recent SO always said that we should not do anything without each other. He said I was his best friend and he does not want to go anywhere where I could not go with him. He was also a bit of an asshole, so there goes that!

I think it's very important for both parties to have an aspect of a life apart from each other as well, even if just to stop you from becoming that nagging couple joined at the hip. I agree with Ccup and tip my hat at her for the way she and her SO deal with this. I would definitely want a similar set up in any future relationship. Like she says though, trust is the key here though.
Thanks.:D <3
...It's the way relationships should be, you know? At least that's how I feel- some may disagree however.

How long were you two together? And was it your decision to break things off?
 

idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
#6
Thanks.:D <3
...It's the way relationships should be, you know? At least that's how I feel- some may disagree however.

How long were you two together? And was it your decision to break things off?
We weren't really together all that long. Maybe 5 months (my longest yet though). He cheated on me (ironic for someone who never wanted to be away from me, wouldn't you say). So whose decision would that have been? Must have been his. I always told him I would trust him with no questions asked until he proves that my trust is misplaced. Then he went there, soooo...
 

storm_ina_C_cup

Registered Member
#7
We weren't really together all that long. Maybe 5 months (my longest yet though). He cheated on me (ironic for someone who never wanted to be away from me, wouldn't you say). So whose decision would that have been? Must have been his. I always told him I would trust him with no questions asked until he proves that my trust is misplaced. Then he went there, soooo...
Those who want to keep you on a "short leash" are the ones you need to watch out for!

At least you didn't have too much invested in this relationship.
 

Kibi

Babeasaurus Sex
#8
Christ thats pants Idz!

I completely echo these guys, it's unhealthy to spend too much time with someone.

I always encourage my boyfriends to go off and have other friends and their own hobbies. Theres nothing worse than not having somewhere to blow off steam.

I used to go play squash - and then my most recent ex joined in (eurgh) then he started "turning up" on girlies nights out *shudder*

I like my freedom and space that doesn't mean I love them less.

:)
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Those who want to keep you on a "short leash" are the ones you need to watch out for!

At least you didn't have too much invested in this relationship.
True story!

It's always the ones who want to be around you all the time. They're too insecure to resist having someone else tell them they're good enough.
 
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idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
#9
Those who want to keep you on a "short leash" are the ones you need to watch out for
:)
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Kibi said:
It's always the ones who want to be around you all the time. They're too insecure to resist having someone else tell them they're good enough.

Well, I am happy that I NOW know this too. Wish I joined GF sooner! Could have saved myself some heartache!

Elly - you should warn your friend! Run like Forest!
 
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Interested

Registered Member
#10
I am alright with going out, but he has to come home after. Nights belong to us. And if we decided to share a house, there is no need to stay elsewhere anyway. Also, not too often. I think the ration between going out without each other and with each other should be 1 to 1. No weekends/holidays separately. It's just inappropriate from my point of view.
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I sounded really harsh there haha... I didn't mean to dictate it like rules, but they kind of are. I am looking for peace and security in a relationship, and that's a part of building those.
 
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