New Group of Friends

So i've lived here for about three years, and I don't really have a best friend. I'm on the swim team, and I'm good friends with one of my teammates, I'd say. He's got his group of friends that are all really close and at school we all talk and hang out and hit on girls and stuff. But outside of school I feel left out because every time I try to make plans to do something with any of them, I'll never get a response (usually through text). Am I just being paranoid or do they just act like they're friends with me and really aren't? I always feel like everyone hates me, and doesn't like to be around me. A recent example of this was when one of the guys told me about the talent show at school he said he wanted to go while he was high. I texted him an hour before it startedto see his plans, but no answer. We were also supposed to drive together, but I just eventually went by myself. I did see him and all of the other guys together and we sat and had a good time, but afterwards they left and didn't invite me to where they were going which kinda upset me. What's up with this?


Sally Twit
I'd check that you have the right numbers first. Seriously.
If they are purposely ignoring you then you need to find some new friends. Speak to them and see what the deal is. The only way you'll get answers is by asking them straight out.
Thanks :) I know I have the right #'s becuase sometimes they'll text back but most of the time they don't. :/ I just don't want to look stupid for asking them, when it's just coincidence or something. You know?


Sally Twit
If they're doing it all the time then shey should tell you why the next day. It's not nice that you keep texting them and they're never replying. If they're not giving you a reason when they see you at school then they don't sound like real friends. Just ask them straight out and see if they make up rubbish excuses.


/ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5
It's also possible he sees you as a "friend from the swim team" and want it to stay that way. Sometimes while I have "friends" from specific groups, I keep it that way: they're friends when I do those stuff but not expect them to hang out with me in my other activities.

There's also the idea that while he is fine with you, and probably why he mentions gigs with you like that, maybe one of his friends isn't comfortable with you. Or he thinks that you won't get along with his established group of friends. This is not rare. I have people I enjoy hanging out with if it's just the two of us. But when I hang out with my other friends, I cannot imagine tagging them along because they'll just feel left out and don't "fit".

Nevertheless, he should have at least replied to your texts and given you an explanation (or even an excuse!) instead of ignoring you like that and making you wonder what happened. Also, it's time to depend on other groups of people for your social activities. :)
Get to know the rest of the gang. Ask them if they anything planned and try hang out more and they might realise you're a great guy. If it doesn't work it's better to keep the friendship with the 'friend' where it is.
Thanks for the responses :). Ironically enough, they've started texting back which is great. Sometimes there's no response, and sometimes they'll text back later and tell me why they didn't respond earlier. I'm still pretty new to this place, especially being in high school. I just want a group of friends that I can hang out with haha. We all get along great, we're all really fun and spontaneous so I think I just may be over paranoid.


Registered Member
It could also be that they're trying to suss you out. I mean, they're not just new to you, you're new to them as well. Maybe they're just trying to get a feel of what kind of bloke you are first. It happens to me all the time when i'm in new places.


Registered Member
Yea just give em time man. Take things slow and don't text them or call them too much, you'll freak em out. I know how you feel though. Just play it cool, and if someone mentions they're doing something on the weekend or whatever just say, "...mind if i tag along, got nothing to do myself."