Need tips: Going from 1 child to 2

Discussion in 'Advice Board' started by Boredie, Jul 13, 2008.

  1. Boredie

    Boredie In need of Entertainment

    Any tips out there on how to get ready for this major change?
    Also how difficult is it to adapt to suddenly having to take care of double the children you have?

  2. Atreyu

    Atreyu #2 New Zealander

    well, i can't give direct advice. As i don't have kids. However, my sister does have two and Ill try to put my observations into advice.

    share the responsibility. My sisters husband works on oil rigs on a 2weeks on, 2 weeks off basis And on the weeks he was away she started to get more pressured and started suffering from post natal depression.

    How olds your daughter? 2? make sure to spend good family time with her and not shower the other with attention. Jealousy can easily occur in older children

    Make sure to listen to your midwife if you have one. there advice can work wonders.

    Hmm. I think Ill stop there since i feel I'm pointing out the most obvious things and probably look like an idiot :-/.
  3. Boredie

    Boredie In need of Entertainment

    No, no, even the obvious is sometimes good to point out, for reminders' sake. :)
    Thanks for posting what you did.
  4. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    I'm trying to recall my difficulties...

    Emotional: Aside from the usual hormone issues one can have after giving birth, I also felt guilt with having to divide my attention between two kids. I felt like I'm taking something away from my son (first born). What helped me later is understand that my feelings aren't like pizza slices (the more you share, the smaller the part). I also spent a lot of time with my son before the baby was born. Special time for us and special time to prepare him for his big brother role.

    Physical: It's hard. You'd be tired and drained and you're not only thinking of your baby but also the bigger child. They have different needs. Sometimes you worry about it too much that you forget to take care of yourself. You don't eat well, and you'll lack sleep, and the more you get tired. Allow yourself time to rest. Delegate (ask help now, not during, from your entourage as to what they can do to help you once the baby is out).

    Mental: Will I ever survive? Am I doing this right? Is it always this hard? Questions, questions. Write them down if you have to. You need an outlet so as not to burden your mind with things you can set aside for later or is not urgent to attend to. Try to remember the first time you had the baby and you thought how hard it is like you'd never make it...yet you did. We just pass a phase of difficulty but we adjust. Cliché says "this too shall pass" and that helped me endure the first few weeks of difficulties.

    Mommyhood: I felt that the transition from childless to having 1st born was way more difficult than the transition from having one to two or more kids. It's like riding a bicycle again after several years of not doing so. You don't really forget. You'll get the hang of it easily and you're less paranoid about things going wrong. Establish routine as early as you can for your sanity.
  5. Boredie

    Boredie In need of Entertainment

    Thank you ysabel :)
    I tend to do that now with my only child.
    I think I will need a constant someone to be on hand to help me in that respect.
  6. MenInTights

    MenInTights not a plastic bag

    Bad news: going from one to two was huge in regards to how more work and less free time you will have.

    Good News: going from two to three was easy. And going from three to four was easy.

    If you can get past 2, everything else in life will be easy. That's meant o be encouraging. Think of like an intensive training course. In just a few years, you will be super-woman!
  7. Swiftstrike

    Swiftstrike Registered Member

    Good luck with having another pooping machine.

    Make sure to pick a favorite. Establishing who you love more is very important for a child's development.

    My suggestion pick the most recent child.

    Also you should use the hand-me-down system. Everything the first child has you can just give to the 2nd child. If you have another just keep repeating the sequence. Saves you time and money!

    Also whenever your kids think they being treated unfairly your response should be "life's not fair." That response works with any amount of children but I have found it is more effective with the more children you have.

    Boredie I hope this advice helps.

    I have no children but I think the advice is fool-proof.
    Major likes this.
  8. R1pperZ

    R1pperZ Registered Member

    My brother in which I unfortunately live with just had his second son while his first is just turning 3, so I guess I know a little of how that changes the usual routine. First and most importantly I hope you have a partner.. because obviously a baby and a kid will drive you absolutely crazy if you don't have someone to take over.

    Secondly it's all going to come down to the structure of your routines and the understanding of your little one of how things are going to change and he is going to have to show a new kind of respect towards you and your baby.

    A hard one I see with the 3yr old in my house is playing around the baby, your little one will want to try and play with the baby and even try and wake them up at times, you always have to keep a close eye on them when their together.

    Focus on creating a decent sleep schedule with your baby once it is possible after a few weeks of the baby being home. You'll want your partner to take your little one with them whenever possible and find ways to distract them so they don't drive you crazy while your trying to relax when your with the baby.

    That's really all I can offer since I don't want to go into detail while not having the actually experience of a responsibility like that. But as I do live with a newborn and 3yr old I might be able to answer some specific questions if they arise.
  9. Boredie

    Boredie In need of Entertainment

    Thanks Ripperz :)
    I always wanted that job :lol:
    I wasn't expecting any good advice from you, but glad you posted something.
    Best advice so far was what I put in bold. :D
    ysabel likes this.
  10. AngelsPeak

    AngelsPeak Wanna play?

    My first and second are 5 years apart so the transition was pretty easy for me. My oldest wanted nothing more than to help, so as long as I kept her involved she was thrilled by her baby sister.
    As long as you remember to show just as much attention to both and find ways for your oldest to be involved I'm sure everything will be fine.

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