Need some advice about a boy

Discussion in 'Advice Board' started by LadyPinky, Sep 3, 2008.

  1. LadyPinky

    LadyPinky scientia potestas est

    Ok so heres the deal. I responded to this guys ad on Craig's List. I know bad right but I got out of a relationship 10 months ago. And I need to meet so new people and start dating again. With my work a school schedule I don't have time to go out and meet new people.

    Anywho I met this guy by sending him a e-mail through his personal ad. He e-mailed me back with his phone number and screen name. We have been talking online for a couple of days now. He seems like a very down to earth guy, funny and sweet.

    So hears the problem, he wants to sleep with me right off the bat. He says this is how he can tell if there is a connection or not. And this is the part I'm not sure about. We have seen pictures of each other, and I have to say I'm very attracted to him both emotionally and physically. And he told me he thinks I'm sexy and sweet.

    He wants to meet and hook up or whatever. But I'm still on the fence about this. I have only every had one sexual partner and that was after being in the relationship with him for six months before we slept together. Part of me is like just do it sleep with him and see what happens. But the other part of me says not to rush into anything, to make him wait and see if he is still interested in me. Hes going away tomorrow till Sunday. So I have some time to think it over some more. Had to tell him we could not meet up tonight mainly cause I was worried I would do something I regret. He seemed disappointed but then he said he would talk to me when he got back. So hes still interested.

    So what do you guys think? Should I do stuff with him right off the bat? Or should I give him a ultimatum of how I feel and try and take things slow? Anya advice would be helpful. Thanks so much.
     

  2. Obsessiforge

    Obsessiforge - Diderot Reborn -

    well, first thing I'd be worried about is STDs. you meet a guy online and sleep with him, its not like you can't expect consequences.

    and even still, I think it'd be a bad idea.
     
  3. Kazmarov

    Kazmarov For a Free Scotland

    Craigslist is notoriously full of dogs. Say no.

    I'd suggest using interest-focused dating networks rather than the 'shoot and pray' nature of Craigslist. It's had a history of sexual assaults and other bad things, as well as just being a place for people who can't make it on more comprehensive dating sites because they're sketchy and shallow.
     
  4. EndWinterRomance

    EndWinterRomance PREGGERS

    DONT DO IT! this guy is most likely an internet predator that knows what to say to get you to like him. you dont have to sleep with someone to get a connection . most likely if you tell him you wont sleep with him he'll try to convince you to more or stop talking to you all together.

    i cant even tell you how much of a bad idea this is....
     
  5. Doc

    Doc Trust me, I'm The Doctor. V.I.P.

    He just wants to have sex with you.

    Don't do it.
     
  6. LadyPinky

    LadyPinky scientia potestas est

    I understand where you guys are coming from with the Craig's list thing. Its true there are predators out there who are looking to use people and stuff. No offense, I know you guys only have my best interest in mind, but I don't need to be told over again how dangerous meeting people online can be. I have met a couple of people from online in person. Always someplace public, always. I don't put myself in risky situations never. So basically I'm thinking you guys are saying I should just drop him like third period French. At this point I'm thinking of giving him the ultimatum that if he wants anything to do with me we do it my way. Or I drop his sorry ass. The main reason I'm thinking this over so hard is that I feel a real connection with him. I know your gonna say how can you know this about someone you met online but I do. Its been a while since I have had this kinda connection with anyone.
     
  7. Doc

    Doc Trust me, I'm The Doctor. V.I.P.

    You'd be stupid for not doing that now.
     
  8. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    Is it possible this is legit? Yes. It's also possible this guy is a psycho.

    People who meet over the internet always assume they know each other, but in reality, even fairly honest people often leave out certain details. And less than honest people can make up whatever they want.

    You really should get to know him in person before you do anything. And any time you meet someone for the first time (after meeting them online), you should make sure you meet in a public place so there will be witnesses, so he won't try anything.

    Even if he's been 100% honest, you still haven't had a chance to see how he interacts with other people, or how he responds to various situations. You only sort of know him at most. At worst, you know nothing about him

    I think it's way too risky. And really, even if you'd met him in person and been dating for longer than you've known this guy, I'd still advise against it.
     
  9. EndWinterRomance

    EndWinterRomance PREGGERS

    thats kind of what i was saying.... tell him you dont feel comfortable with the sex yet but you like him and want to get to know each other better; that there are other and better ways to make a connection. im not saying you cant meet someone great online but if he really is a great guy he wouldnt ask you for sex so early on yano?

    honestly i know you think you have a connnection with him (and you really might!) but rapists, predators..... generally bad people, know how to make you feel a connection with them, comfortable with them, and think they are a good person.

    here is my suggestions : 1. pick up the book the gift of fear..... 2. tell him your not ready for sex with him and that you want to get to know him better before even thinking about having a sexual relationship........ 3. no matter what be safe and dont try to justify something that you arent completely sure about.
     
  10. Dali

    Dali Registered Member

    I agree with everyone. All he wants is sex of you, don't give yourself to him, if he is worth it he will wait.
     

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