Need Help in general with approaching females

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by Vision001, May 22, 2009.

  1. Vision001

    Vision001 New Member

    Hey, i'm aware that this is a common problem for a lot of guys out there, Approaching random girls.

    A little about my history, I'v been quite shy till i was 18. After i turn 18 i started reading books to push my confidence up. In the process i started stepping out my comfort zone by approaching dozens of random girls. It has been fun but scary at the same time, especially when they're in a group of girls or mix gender.

    My question is, some feedback on your experiences when guys have approached you. What did you like and didn't like?

    Thanks =D
     

  2. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    Just be yourself. Don't act like a jerk and come across all big headed. Ask her about her interests and don't just talk about yourself. Don't be too forward and make sure you call her the next day.
     
  3. AnitaKnapp

    AnitaKnapp It's not me, it's you. V.I.P. Lifetime

    The thing that I really, really dislike is when I brush them off, but they continually persist.
     
  4. Rebeccaaa

    Rebeccaaa yellow 4!

    Yeah, you basically just need to be yourself and know when to gtfo if she doesn't seem interested.
     
  5. Hiei

    Hiei The Hierophant

    Women are people, too. Just be yourself and don't treat them like they're an alien.
     
  6. Wolfling

    Wolfling Registered Member

    I'm rather tattooed and the one thing that really gets me if someone approaches me [ I'm engaged anyway ] who is a stranger thinking because I'm inked they have the right to touch me. I'm willing to be pleasant and friendy but it's like, dude, don't touch me.

    You've just got to be real and take a hint - if need be. If the vibe isn't there some girls will be nice or some will pretty much tell you where to go.

    Or you can always sit and wait for them to come to you! ;)
     
  7. icegoat63

    icegoat63 Son of Liberty V.I.P. Lifetime

    (edit) meh I didnt read your op all the way, just figured it was a run of the mill "I need advice" thread. so yeah, enjoy anyway.

    The key thing I learned growing up around 8th grade up through the 12th... is that Females definitely can sense confidence or lack there of.

    And I'm sure most all of the girls here can back me up on this, Females would much rather talk to the average to below average looking guy that carries himself with alot of confidence rather than the Good looking guy who couldn't string together a sentence in front of a female to save their lives..... otherwise saying they've got no confidence in themselves.

    So the best thing you can do is just trick yourself into having confidence. Because trust me I can remember how scary it was to approach girls back in the day. What I finally did around 8th-9th grade was just sorta tell myself "look, its either talk to her and chance getting rejected... or dont talk to her and its just as bad as a rejection". Pretty much I just tried to convince myself that the better choice was to just nut up and give it a go. Now having played the game, loved the game, and thrived in the game... Trust me kiddo, there are much much worse things in this world that you'll go through rather than taking a rejection. A rejection is only as bad as you make it, so if targeted girl rejects you... just take it with a grain of salt and move on. Plant many seeds, dont just focus all your attention on one girl because if you do... that makes taking rejection harder. More on the multi-girl thing later.

    Because in all honesty... if you start to sit down and break down why you have trouble approaching them; its 'cause you're giving them to much credit and it makes 'em scary. Any girl is no better than you, so just convince yourself to treat the girls like equals. Dont be scared... they dont have any special powers or really anything that you dont (except for needs needs needs :hah:).

    So yeah in a nutshell, if you wanna be successful with communicating with girls... you gotta remember 3 things:

    1: Confidence..... fake it if you have to
    2: They arent Special..... theres nothing to be scared of, treat them like equals
    3: Only you can hurt yourself..... Rejection sucks, but its only as bad as you dream it to be

    For more advanced advice you can check my spoiler
    I lied... there are 2 things that girls can smell on a guy... Confidence and Other Girls. Theres nothing more attractive to a girl (in my findings) than a guy who has a trail of other girls on him. Thats why "the dick" guy is the one that gets all the girls. Because he's a challenge, and girls in Jr. High & High School love a challenge. This is why I said if you're just starting out trying to attract girls... dont put all your eggs in one basket. Spread 'em out talk to alot of girls even the ones that arent that great looking. In the long run you'll always have bridges there whenever you need 'em!
     
  8. wooly

    wooly I am the woolrus

    It's one thing to say 'be yourself' but it's hard to be yourself when you're filled with nerves and whatnot. I think the main thing is not to be afraid of rejection. So what if they're not into you? So what if you say the wrong thing and make a complete ass of yourself! If it's a random girl, you'll never see them again. Just ask if they want a drink, ask them lots of questions about themselves and throw in whatever interesting things you can about yourself. Hopefully after introductions, the conversation will begin to flow naturally.
     
  9. Hiei

    Hiei The Hierophant


    Really? I don't think that's as great a strategy as you think. Sure, some people are outgoing and approach other people, but most people are on the same level of shy. Waiting for someone else to come up to you is pointless. It's easier and more productive just to be that outgoing and approachable person.
     
  10. Jakey-D

    Jakey-D Registered Member

    I feel it takes less than 30 secs to recognise if you have a chance with a girl (apart fro the girl I've mentioned in my own thread. She's a tough cookie). The best tool a guy has is an opening line. Cheesy lines can actually work if pulled off right with fun girls. I've been described as 'stupidly charming' before.

    I met my first serious girlfriend when I was 15 with the following line:

    Me: "Excuse me, was you father a beaver?"

    Her: "Um...no...why?"

    Me: "Cos DAM girl!"

    Terrible, just a terrible line that I got from some joke site on the net but she laughed so hard it broke the ice. I think she liked the fact I was confident enough to try summit so lame. Cheese isn't always a bad think.
     

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