• Welcome to the PopMalt Forums! Whether you're new to forums or a veteran, welcome to our humble home on the web! We're a 20-year old forum community with thousands of discussions on entertainment, lifestyle, leisure, and more.

    Our rules are simple. Be nice and don't spam. Registration is free, so what are you waiting for? Join today!.

Names Will Never Hurt You?

MainerMikeBrown

Registered Member
When I was in elementary school back in the day, their was an old saying that many of us students and even some teachers said when it came to bullying.

It was: sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.

That is about the worst advice anyone could give.

Verbal abuse, for many people, is just as traumatic as being physically assaulted. Repeated verbal abuse, verbal bullying, can be so upsetting to some that it can even be a cause of mental illness, such as depression and anxiety issues.

No joke.
 

Impaired

Registered Member
It is a rhyme for kids - that being called a name is not going to make you bleed or cause bruises or breaks.

Of course you can be emotionally hurt by others calling you names. The rhyme says "you aren't bleeding, ignore the idiots"
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
Being called names can be hurtful but it won't send you to the hospital is what I get from that. Ignoring name calling can be challenging especially if they are in your face with it. People like that probably have mental issues. So it may be best to walk away because they could hurt you.
 

The_Chameleon

Grandmaster
I feel that bullying in schools is often dealt with the wrong way. If I had a kid who was being physically pushed around by other kids, I'd enroll him in self defense courses, and if he was being verbally attacked, I teach him how to fight verbally. When I was growing up, it wasn't uncommon for kids to spout off, and while those kids who whined about it to the teacher generally got ignored by the teachers and picked on worse by the kids, those who were adept at verbal sparring were either left alone or even accepted by those same kids. As far as physical bullying, it was very much the same. Knowing how to stand your ground, even if on occasion it meant taking some lumps was how you gained respect among your peers and for many it built character along the way.

Now with that said, I realize that times have changed, and there is some "next level" bullying going on in some of today's schools, much of it facilitated by social media and the emphasis that kids are being permitted to put upon it. There's more of a bandwagon effect where social media is involved. I think the best defense for bullying in general, in terms of mitigating it's emotional impact, is for parents to instill into their children a strong sense of self worth, confidence, dignity, and the knowledge that they are loved. And also that the opinions of haters are meaningless. If a child is permitted to develop their sense of self worth almost purely from their peers then they will be susceptible to the kinds of emotional gang-rape frequently seen on social media. That's not to say that school's shouldn't take it seriously when this type of bandwagon effect is in motion against one of their students.
 

Impaired

Registered Member
Some kids never take to self-defense, physically or verbally. Some people are not built that way. Some people let words roll off their back, some take it to heart. I stood my ground one time and was stabbed for my troubles. It didn't make future violence less likely.

Parents instilling self-worth, self-reliance and self-control is their main job after shelter, feeding and clothing.
 

The_Chameleon

Grandmaster
Things have been allowed to get out of control. Liberal parents let their kids run rough-shot and their little hoodlums form packs because there's no direction or discipline being provided by their parents, nor often school faculty. The carrot doesn't work, we've proven that. In many schools teachers are afraid to go to work, it's gotten that bad. It's time for the stick. Students who rally others against specific students or authority should be sent to military style schools for a full attitude overhaul. Boys and girls alike, as an example to others who would follow in their footsteps. The sooner this kind of self-entitled, disrespectful behavior can be stamped out the better. In extreme cases, parents should be held legally accountable for their lack of parenting. Personally I'd be for shock collars for troublemakers (and politicians, but that's another matter). lol

I think that we're actually contributing to the problem by teaching children that they should always go to someone for every little thing that bothers them instead of teaching them problem solving skills that would help them to deal with most problems themselves while building a thicker skin along the way. We're promoting a sort of "snitch culture" among those who are picked on and snitches get stitches. We should be teaching kids how to deal with issues, and how to discern when a problem is beyond them and only then to seek outside help. Let's stop giving out awards accomplishing nothing and begin building kids up instead of just propping them up.

Most bullying stems from abuse or neglect, almost all of it in fact, so a deeper look needs to be taken at the parents of these kids to see which it is and if necessary involve the courts to deal with it (mandatory parenting classes and family counseling for emotional neglect, and of course prison for abuse). If we go on just treating the symptoms of bullying and encouraging victim mentality among youngsters we're only going to see an increase in the problem to the point where schools will, out of necessity, have to be run like prisons. Furthermore, vicious, predatory kids have a nasty tendency to grow into vicious, predatory adults if nothing is done to change their attitudes before they become entrenched.
 
Last edited:
Top