My therapist is leaving

Discussion in 'Advice Board' started by redsoxocd, Oct 20, 2009.

  1. redsoxocd

    redsoxocd living on the border

    After seeing him for 2 1/2 years, my therapist has taken another position and he is leaving the hospital. Hearing this yesterday kind of screwed me up badly. I was already having a horrible day and I normally go into therapy feeling happy because I know that I will get to let it all out. When my therapist told me that he is leaving at the end of November my mind just started racing. I felt like I was on the verge of having an anxiety attack so I kept changing the subject and just went on talking about the things that I normally talk about in therapy. When the session was over though, I went into the bathroom on another floor and started crying HARD.

    I know the lady that my therapist is saying will become my new therapist. I've talked to her once when I was having an anxiety attack about not getting a call saying that my therapist wasnt coming in, and once on the phone when my therapist was on vacation. My major problem is that I dont like female doctors/therapist. They always seem to be too "nice" while males are always "up front".

    To make matters worse, my boyfriend lost his job yesterday. I found out after I had started freaking out to him about losing my therapist. He went on to say that everything is always about me. Now, I can say that many times I do only worry about myself when I am going through shit. But EVERYTIME something is wrong with him I put my own feelings aside. If he's having a bad day I listen and I dont get mad when he flips out on me because I know that he is having a hard time and that things will be better in the morning. I had been up since 2 in the morning worrying about him because I woke up and say a text where he was saying that he fucked up his life and that he hated himself. So when he got fired I knew that he felt like he was getting kicked when he was down. I was freaking out just as much as he was. He apologized this morning and I accept it, but its like how much longer do I put up with this?

    Anyways, I cutt last night. It was the third time since May 17th. Its the worst I've done sinve December when I was in the hospital and on "saftey watch". I've also been purging again.

    It took my about 6 months to open up to my therapist so I dont know how I'm going to do it again.

    Any suggestions on how I can get through this a prepare myself for this transition?

    (and please dont tell me to "get the fuck over it")

  2. MAgnum9987

    MAgnum9987 Do What Thou Wilt

    Ok, now, the last thing you want to do is cut. It only makes things worse. You need to find a confidant. A true friend, not a therapist. Friends can offer an insight that a therapist cannot. A therapist could never be a sincere as a good friend. Try a relative, like a cousin. Sometimes, a person who hardly knows you but still cares for you can offer the best insight. They have no reason to lie, so will often be upfront. I'm best friends with my cousin, and when I'm feeling bad I talk to him. It never fails. A person who truly cares for you is the best thing.
  3. icegoat63

    icegoat63 Son of Liberty V.I.P. Lifetime

    Ask them to Join GF.

    Probably sounds weird but I'm serious. What better way to get to know someone than to get to know their words without their Face / looks / gender taking over the first impression?

    I mean you're quick and up front to open up to us and none of us are truly board certified (if some of you are I apologize). Our advice is nothing more than just the friendly kind, it really has no medical Merit or weight to it. So what if you could politely ask the new Therapist to help kickstart your relationship by joining GF and getting to know you in an environment you feel safe and comfortable in. Get to know her here and then maybe that could help ease the tension of switching Doctors.

    I'm not sure how much the Therapists costs or if you even pay for the service, but I can imagine that a therapist who really has the interest to help their patients may be interested in finding new ways to reach out to new patients.

    What have you got to lose, to me it sounds like a great idea.
  4. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    Your best bet is probably to talk to your current therapist about it, and see what he says. Talk about your reaction, talk about your worries about the new therapist, etc.

    Also, I'd guess that if you tell your new therapist right up front that you prefer that she be more up front, she'll either do that, or if that's not her style, refer you to someone who is.
  5. redsoxocd

    redsoxocd living on the border

    Thanks guys.

    Ice, your idea sounds really interesting. I'm going to talk it over with my therapist and see if he can get the new one to do it.
  6. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    In fact, you might see if there's some way you can stay in contact with your current therapist, via e-mail or something, not necessarily as an e-patient, but as a friend.
  7. redsoxocd

    redsoxocd living on the border

    I definately would do that, but its not allowed.
  8. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    Yeah - I wasn't sure if it was allowed.
  9. redsoxocd

    redsoxocd living on the border

    Honestly, I doubt that the new one will go with ice's idea. I'm hoping that she will though. I guess she specializes in working with teens, while my therapist was pretty much all around person.

    I'm just really really really scared.
  10. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    As it was mentioned, the worst thing you can do is retreat to old habits. Put it this way, your therapist was going to leave at some point, it's inevitable. This period is important for you as a person since it's about standing on your own. People will not always be around to help or listen as we both obviously know, so while your therapist did a lot of great things for you, you also have to be prepared for the inevitable. Also, think to yourself, if your therapist saw you last night, cutting and purging, what would they think?

    Stay true to the people that believe in and support you, don't hate yourself and don't harp on yourself. The best thing you can do is to persevere, it will prove to yourself that you're capable of standing on your own and that can do wonders for your mental health.

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