MY STORY !!!! NO FEAR ANYMORE!!!! PLEASE READ!!!!

Discussion in 'Art & Creative' started by SVYATOSLAV, Jun 22, 2006.

  1. SVYATOSLAV

    SVYATOSLAV Guest

    ;)So where shall I start off....
    Hm.......
    The beginning has to be interesting....
    Well introducing myself at first is appropriate...
    The name's Svyatoslav or Svyat.. At least that's what it is now...Before that I was Stiv, Stephen, Slav, Slavik, and even Suzuki)))
    Started of the journey……Well actually I'm starting it at the moment cause this is the begining of the story so you can say that I started it just now))
    Now I'm sitting in front of the computer thinking of what to do, how to do it ,and with whom))) I can with great confidence say that I'm not scared of anything or anyone now.

    Here's why... Oh and now I have to find out why I am writing this stuff, cause I need a mission a goal....I'm writing it mainly for myself..ok...so......

    I was born in the USSR in a town Armavir (about 200 000 ppl)...At the age of 3 started to understand what's going on in this world... I was shy, but for some reason that shyness came to me after I bit most of the people that I didn't like for some reason or that maybe didn't like me and showed it in some way...So you gotta understand that after I was the person who ppl feared I started to be shy .. What's that about!!??!!))) I had no problem in getting friends.. I was at the center of attention.. But the shyness didn't want the attention at times...Mostly because failure causes fear that you will fail again ... At least that's how it was at that time.....

    When at the age of five I left for New York I was only happy that I'm going somewhere new.. No fear. (Guess at that time we depend on our parents and we don't get that going to another country means changing your life and you might not even make it back ... Leaving all your friends and members of the family behind).... At that time my family was probably the richest in our town Krasnodar because my father had a business which produced corriander oil... That's a sort of oil that goes into stuff like Coca Cola, perfumes, sauces etc.....
    Money was soon gone...And we had 70 dollars in our wallets but my father got new investations in his business in 1 day so we were back on the right track.... Kindergarten - first love, first american friends, first words in English... The shyness went away as new friends appeared...1-st Grade - first lost friends (Because of the class switch), first kiss.... No shyness at all....Not for long ….
    Then we moved.... Fort Lee New Jersey... Yep I loved that town...3 years after...But the first 3 years were like WTF is going on!!!! I lost ALL my old friends and never seen them after that.. Really miss them even though 12 years passed… and I needed to make new ones (cause I wanted)... New friends I found on the Basketball court... I was 7 and they were 10, 11.... It was all good.... But at times I couldn't prove myself right because they were a lil stronger.... Well there I also fell in love, of course))) But we broke up soon and that's it.... Hmmm...well actually that's private life... We'll let it stay that way...
    If you weigh 30 kilos and the ones that are around you 45 kilos you gotta start thinking of how to protect yourself))) Karate .... SH*T !!! Almost got that belt if not that operation !!! So karate went by(((( As I returned on my feet with real sick pain...I was scared of no one.... But at times when It came up to fights for some reason I didn't want to fight.. Like I was lazy or something... The next time I got FEAR and SHYNESS was after the switch between schools.. At 2-nd grade... For some reason I didn't feel like smiling and teachers would always bug me Smile..Smile...SH*T that was right but I had to want it though... I started to want that only in the 5-th grade when the fear of 4-th grade with a horrible teacher went away.. She kinda made me stronger by always yelling at me... No way somebody’s getting away with this crap anymore!
    Loneliness made me stronger...When at times I was alone I thought about life, where I was going.... That helped me overcome difficulties bla bla bla.....Yea you’ve probably heard that before...Well it helped me too)))

    Oh did I tell you about my phobia.. Well if you ever heard different voices in your head you'll get the idea... The inner voice was thinking: if you don't do this you wont achieve that....For some reason "THIS" was to touch objects a certain number of times... For example voice say's "Touch the sofa three times then touch the TV 4 times and go back, and then you'll beat the enemy in the game†for example.... I don't know maybe it was that Nintendo that did this, but that's how it was..... Fear came....If you don't do this or that or that bla bla bla you won't achieve this and that...and it was annoying....But 5 years later that stuff went away cause a friend of mine which came to visit me from Russia had the exactly same thing...We're like WHOAAAAAA ... I'm in the US your in Russia how the F*K we got the same phobia!!!! The difference was that he touched 4 times and I touched only 2 times at that time...After a while I started doing 4 times and he started doing 2 times))))
    After some time the phobia was gone from us both.... Even 2 years didn't pass as the phobia would come back.... Ahhhhhh…. 2 years I didn't have that phobia fear and shyness.. I was still afraid of the dark, ghosts etc but that was not that annoying as the phobia....
    July 2001 ahhhhhhh back home to Russia ......))))))))))
    August 2001 F*K we're stuck here!!!! No VISA, NO WAY BACK TO THE US....CAR, MONEY, FURNITURE, LIFE, FRIENDS!!!!, ALL IN THE US AND STUCK THERE!!!!!!
    September 2001 ..... The towers fall ....... (((((((((( The Embassy of US closes for some time... I mean to get to US is like going to the moon at that time.... STUCK FOR GOOD!!!!!!
    Ok.....Calm down....NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gotta go to school here !!! SH*T!!!!!!!!! I don't know how to write in RUSSIAN!!! WTF AM I GONNA DO !!!!! Skipped 7-th grade cause at the US I was at a lower grade cause I didn't know English... But I knew how to speak Russian so I went to the grade I was supposed to go.....8-th grade 8.30 am : "What are you doing here"!!!! "Ummmmm studying....." "Oh ok" That was a dialogue beetween my first friend in a Russian school...))))
    Fights…………..I kinda forgot fights in the US and now I'm a rich handsome “american†( even though I consider myself Russian and in US I was also considered Russian) who people are jealous of....
    Hmmmmmm...... What time is it ?? FOBIA TIME!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Touch this, go there, do that, say this or you will get into smthn bad!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!
    Happily I wasn't morally paralyzed and didn't end up in a specialized center))) Ummm..... I had 4 good friends so we hung out together.... All I can say that in the 10-th grade 11-th grade when I changed school again, those friends were the one's I spent most the time with....Even though it was a long road to get there…. The class that I was in 10-th 11-th had around 25 "girls" and five "boys"... Ok if you where glasses...read books at lunch, and wear a uniform which has someone’s hair all over sticking to it I don't think your the right girl for me.. Umm...… those 5 "boys"...Hmm.... Smoking drinkin 24 hours a day....Hmmmm BYE!!!!! Well they were weird.. If they would've been good people that 24 hours a day we could've solved some way, but nawwww they were too weird.....There were people which ass I should've kicked and I could do it... But I didn't want to .... WTF is that... your a man or what...!!!! Anyways I didn't.... Maybe I'm too kind.....
    Wimp, Chump??? No.... I always would say in a persons face everything I thought of him....

    Situations where I could've died where happily not so often... Some times could’ve got run over by a car... Fallen from somewhere.... But I'm alive!!!!! And I began my story today when I wrote the first letter of this story..... Loneliness, Phobias, sometimes poorness...knocked fear out of me...... Not afraid to die...Not afraid to live....Not afraid that you'll laugh at my story, not afraid to tell a girl I love "..." or go "...."
    yourself.... I do what I want... I'm a free person.... I have will to conquer the world.. I have brains which will help me do that....I have time to achieve.... The time has started ...The time of Start has ended.... The story isn't over ... It’s only the beginning.......


    Guess this will be like a journal for me... I'll come home and continue the story... One day I'll be happy that I started this..... But why wait I'm smiling at the moment already ;))))))

    P.S. Love helps ;))))))) ;)

    OH and Discussion please ;)
     

  2. Nosferatu_Alucard

    Nosferatu_Alucard Undead Intellectual

    I'm not a mod or anything but I think this thread is in the wrong section.
     
  3. Italiano

    Italiano Film Elitist

    Post any writings or stories in the Literature section under General Discussion next time Svyatoslav.

    Til then i'll get a mature mod to move your post.
     

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