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My roommate/best friend is ignoring me?

cawakeboard

New Member
So my roommate/best friend has not really wanted to hang out anymore. He told a friend that he is annoyed of me because I talk to him too much and he wants "his" time. For example, I would cook food for the both of us and prepare lunch/dinner, then call him out to eat when the food is ready. He doesn't like talking at the table and just wants to be quiet or go to his room and eat. The weekend comes up and he tries to arrange things to do with other friends purposely (was told from a mutual friend) so that he isn't hanging out with me because I have been talking to him all week and he is tired of me. I really don't get it... we both have busy schedule and in a day I'll talk to him for about maybe 20-30 minutes top!

At this point I am not really talking to him anymore for 4 days... we greet each other every time we see each other but it has been really awkward. Should I just not talk to him anymore and make it seem as though we're just "roommates". We've been friends for 10 years.
 

KSpiceFantastic

Haters gonna hate.
I would say that you should keep the interaction to a minimum for a few days, and then judge it from their. If the pressure gets unbearable, talk to him directly about it. That might solve some issues.
 

shelgarr

Registered Member
If the truth is you two aren't really talking that much, as you say 20-30 minutes, then your roommate is making an excuse. Do you want to know the real reason? It might be something hurtful given that your roommate doesn't even want to address it. On the other hand friendships go through cycles and one or the other may simply want independence. Especially when said friendship is rooming together. I would say you just go along with it as though you want more independence too. In fact, enjoy it!! Make your meals for just yourself, be cordial, say fun nice things, don't ask anything, and see if he loosens up. Give it a month....if it isn't less tense by then, I think you should ask.
 

EllyDicious

made of AMBIGUITY
V.I.P.
What shelgarr said!

I don't really think you talking to him a lot is the real reason why he's keeping a distance from you.
Maybe you did something wrong and you didn't realize it and your friends is not being honest with you.
Saying that you talk to him only 20 minutes out 24 hours a day and still your friend thinks you talk too much, it's not really an excuse. I think no one buys that.

You should talk to your friend about this and not act according to what you've been told. Being friends for 10 years and acting this akward way doesn't really make sense. I don't think you're best friends at this point in life.
Communication is what's missing.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
Living in each other's pocket for a long time probably does get a bit boring. Maybe he doesn't like that you're calling him to the table for dinner. Seems a bit controlling. Perhaps he does just want to eat alone or make his own food.

You live together so you can't ignore each other. I'd ask him what the problem is considering you've been friends for ten years.
Maybe he just feels a bit fed up and wants his own space. After a while some people do just want to live alone or with a partner.
 

cawakeboard

New Member
So... what did I do... I apologised to my friend for being "annoying" and I cleaned our whole apartment up. So it's all clean. I think this is all I can do. I'll try to back off him and just be roommates and I guess it'll be hard to not hangout with him anymore... but I hope I can find good friends.
 

Starfire86

Registered Member
It's difficult to live with friends, everyone has their own innocent habits that could essentially drive the other person nuts. My boyfriend and I were living with a friend of his, and he wouldn't talk to us at all unless he was drunk.
 

Ilus_Unistus

Registered Member
Living in each other's pocket for a long time probably does get a bit boring. Maybe he doesn't like that you're calling him to the table for dinner. Seems a bit controlling. Perhaps he does just want to eat alone or make his own food.

You live together so you can't ignore each other. I'd ask him what the problem is considering you've been friends for ten years.
Maybe he just feels a bit fed up and wants his own space. After a while some people do just want to live alone or with a partner.
I think this.

If you are going to be room mates, and I would think it was because neither of you can afford your own flat, then I think it is important for you to communicate with each other.

Like Bliss says, talk to him, find out what is bothering him and work this out. It is best to solve a problem early rather than let it go and build to a bigger problem later.

I would not apologize for anything you felt is not wrong before knowing what it is that is bothering him. It sounds to me like you both need a little give and take maybe?
 

EllyDicious

made of AMBIGUITY
V.I.P.
So... what did I do... I apologised to my friend for being "annoying" and I cleaned our whole apartment up. So it's all clean. I think this is all I can do. I'll try to back off him and just be roommates and I guess it'll be hard to not hangout with him anymore... but I hope I can find good friends.
so you think you can get away with just an apology and with a cleaning of the room?
I don't think the apology is the best solution in the first place. The first thing you should have done is to ask your friend what his problem is for real.
You both should have had a talk in depth, before apologizing. I'm sure you're still not sure if the "too much talking" thing is the real reason why he's keeping the distance from you.
 

shelgarr

Registered Member
So... what did I do... I apologised to my friend for being "annoying" and I cleaned our whole apartment up. So it's all clean. I think this is all I can do. I'll try to back off him and just be roommates and I guess it'll be hard to not hangout with him anymore... but I hope I can find good friends.
What was his response?
 
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