My own Prince…

Discussion in 'Art & Creative' started by Nouran, Jan 21, 2009.

  1. Nouran

    Nouran New Member

    My own Prince…
    Exhausting from your Torment
    Ablaze from your Confusion
    How to get Lethargy…
    While see your Insomnia
    I'll donate you my River
    To irrigate your Bosom
    I'll plant Trust's Bloom
    In your grove land
    My own Price… you're the Life
    I won't to respire but your Breath
    You're my smile's secret, my Peace
    And my homeland between your arms
    Don't slip my hand from yours
    Coz I unaware your moorage
    Take me to your dark night
    As shining star in your Sky
    To gleam your dark longing
    And defeat your misery
    Don't ever let the Alienation
    Flirt your eye's tears
    Sink me in your true love
    And let me own your passion
     

  2. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    I'm sorry but . . . what?

    A lot doesn't make sense here. I can see where you're trying to go in places, but otherwise I'm not sure. I'm assuming you may not be a native english speaker just because of some of the grammar and structure, but who knows maybe it's your style. I don't know, this just doesn't feel complete or comprehensible at it's current state.
     
  3. Shaggy

    Shaggy Registered Member

    Agreed...i can see what you're trying to do but i think the metaphors are overdone...i cant grasp what the metaphors mean...i like it though...just a little hard to wrap my head around...
     
  4. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    It seems like it may even be a rough translation.
     
  5. Nouran

    Nouran New Member


    HI CONSTANTINE



    you are right i'm egyption so i write my poems in Arabic


    i try to translate it to english


    but i cared to focuses on the basic idea


    Tried to show the literary Vision as i feel it

    and i like to write my poems with Non-stereotyped

    ************


    thanks for your kind passing


    with my best regards​
     
  6. Shaggy

    Shaggy Registered Member

    Yea im gettin that impression too...where you from Nouran?...
     
  7. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    Egypt. Just check her intro thread.

    It's a good start, don't get me wrong, it's just . . . heavy.
     
  8. Nouran

    Nouran New Member


    hi Constantine



    you are right .... i'm egyption from cairo

    so normally i write my poems in Arabic


    this words was written by me in Arabic

    and i translated it and posted here


    Tried to focus on clarifying the meaning and image of poetry​

    and i like to write with Non-traditional or Non-stereotyped
    ------

    yes u right ...

    i think that's the distinguishes the poem from the regular article


    you should paints a vision in your mind when you read any poem

    Poems transcend the spirit and make it more transparent​
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2009

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