My mom and her dating a inmate?

[TNBs]

What you would say, do, or think in my situation?
My mom, who just got out of a serious (and unhealthy) relationship is looking for love. I feel like she is miss-placing it.

She has a 12year son, who is lost
She has a 3year old daughter. My mom wants to move to another city where she will later be joined by an inmate who she is dating through an unauthorized cell phone, and writing letters. She is convinced that he is a good guy, that they are soul mates.

He was a LA crypt, which is why he is in prison (16 or so years of time). I am concerned for her, but I also want her to find happiness in her life.

What if he hurts her or the kids, and she is so far away that her family doesn't see it and can't protect her?

She has a history of pickin' them, I could tell you. I have the scars to prove it.

This is not something I want my siblings to be apart of. Help?

 

[EllyDicious]

It's is kind of you to worry about your mom. You need to talk to her and she should listen to you or at least take your thoughts into account.
How old are you?
Is she leaving you alone?

I'm afraid she's being pretty irresponsible.

 

[TNBs]

I have been on my own since I was 16, given the history of foster care and mom having abusive bfs. I love my mom and she is great. She raised me by herself for the most part. I am 24, and she is 41ish? I think she is being irresponsible but her ex left her for a chick in the same complex, and two other ex's live in the area. She has always been afraid to go out on her own and this could be an opportunity. But what if her inmate does move in?

 

[Vidic15]

I think that you have every right to be concerned but you shouldn't worry too much about it because considering that you've suffered due to your mothers inability to pick the right men, you need to tear your mother out of your life before this guy starts aiming at you to unleash his anger. He could be a transformed man, you never know.

 

[TNBs]

He could be a transformed man, you never know.

Maybe, but I know I am strong enough in case he isn't. However, my lil' sib.s aren't. I did talk to her about it last night and I am feeling like she has got it. She knows what the complications are, and insured me that he wont be moving in. In fact, she doesn't want a bf right now!

So glad. I told her that I knew under that damsel guise is a fireball of a woman. She just needs her confidence back.

I think things are looking up. Will keep you all posted if anything changes. :lick:

 

[ysabel]

I'd be concerned too and depending on the crime he got in prison for, if it's violence related I would be more worried. Maybe your mom has learned from her past relationships. Maybe this is just the thing she needs right now (if they have a great connection that she can't find elsewhere at the moment). You're old enough to have an adult conversation with your mom. Tell her you want her to be happy but also she has to be very careful. I wouldn't really say much how she sucked at picking men, she might get defensive instead. But just that she hasn't had much luck in men in the past so it's better to take things slow and not to give so much of herself until she really knows the person better.

 

[TNBs]

@Ysabel- thanks, that's sensible advice. I have pretty much giving up on it though.

She said she is moving this Friday no matter what. I doubt it honestly. She and I had a little bit of a fight and we are talking. Its not on the same subject though. The odd thing is: I don't feel bad for what I said to her, and I hope she can come to grips with my straight forward communication. Idk what to say on it.