My ex and I just started having sex again

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by theArgus, Jan 25, 2010.

  1. theArgus

    theArgus Registered Member

    my ex and i just started having sex again, sort of a no strings attached deal. any thoughts on this?

    we broke up in november, but were a little on and off for a few weeks.

    she knows i wanna get back together, and she does not at the moment. we still have love for each other, we just cant be together for reasons of old. i have some issues, so does she, it was a good relationship but was being complicated by other shit like that.

  2. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    It's dangerous if you ask me. Old feelings are going to come back and someone is going to get hurt. You ended your relationship for a reason so remember what that reason was.
    If you just want sex then go and do it with someone that wants no strings attached sex too. Someone you have no feelings for - past or present.
  3. Kibi

    Kibi Babeasaurus Sex

    I agree ex-sex is a dodgy area and both of you (particularly you because you want to get back together) can end up getting hurt....

    I ended up back with an ex last year and he hurt me more than I thought possible because I let my guard dow and trusted him again, the old issues never go away.

    Just my opinion.

  4. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    I want to know more of these "issues".
  5. Dali

    Dali Registered Member

    I honestly don't think there is any such thing as "no strings attached".

    It's hard to give you advise as many times other people do the same as what you and your ex are doing now and they get back together and have a great relationship, sometimes you have to go through bad periods to realize that you actually do love and want to be with each other, other times though it backfires and the little bit of love and feeling that you have for each other can soon slip away and turn into pain, hurt, hate, resentment especially if one of the two are not being quite honest with their feelings.

    Only you know the issues you both have and you need to consider everything and what the outcome will likely be, if you will end up being more hurt in the long run I would say don't jump into bed with each other. You said you want to get back with her but she isn't ready yet, well thing is what if she never wants to get back with you but yet you still sleep together? What if you meet a wonderful girl you like but are not willing to start a relationship with her because you are still holding out hope that one day you will wake up in the morning with her and she says that she wants to get back with you for real again? What is one day she turns around and she has a new boyfriend because your relationship is only "no string attached"?

    Only you know the answers and how you feel, be careful and I know it hurts, I am talking from experience. I was 17 and the love of my life slept with me for a year after breaking up with me giving promises that one day he will want to be in a relationship with me again, he never did.

    Take care. :)
  6. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    I think you can have no strings attached sex with someone you just met. Lots of people go out looking for one night stands. There are people that don't want to get in to relationships because it complicates things so just go out wanting sex.
  7. NINnerd

    NINnerd Survived a M&G with Trent

    You say there are no strings attached, and that may be true. The problem is that you WANT there to be strings attached. You can't have true "friends-only" sex if one of the people wants to really be with the other. Doesn't work that way.

    I think you're setting yourself up for heartbreak. Sounds like you are willing to only have sex for now if it'll keep you in her life. But sooner or later, she'll stop having sex with you, and you'll be "dumped" again.
  8. theArgus

    theArgus Registered Member

    ok, so basically i know that right now we can't be "together". i know it might and probably won't happen in the future. sure i want to be with her (which i pretty much kinda am in a way), and for the most part i'm getting over the hope of getting back together. doesnt take away the feelings i felt and still have for her. but basically, i'm getting everything out of our relationship now that i was in the past, minus the part where i have to put up with some of her friends (who were friends even before we started dating, but i cant stand a lot of times) and the spending time during the day with her (one of the reasons we broke up, spending too much time together)..

    so, we both get sex from each other, and from others should we choose, and pretty much if not sex we still sleep together and talk and cuddle. i know i will probably feel shitty a bit once this ends, but ultimately i felt way shittier before this started, and i'm feeling more confident and looking to actually get with other people too, she even encourages it.

    and should the cosmic forces of the universe bring us back "together", it will be as what some of you said, where you go through bad times and ultimately realize what you want, tho most probably that wont be the case.

    i'm in it for the moment, i know what the past may hold for the future, but i've come a lot farther now with that than i had when we initially broke up. my getting better was even part of the reason we are doing this now, as i was depressed during some periods when we were together.

    so i mean, live life in the present. see the future and past, and make decisions accordingly.

    thanks for your advice, my friends and her friends have told us the same, that its a horrendous idea.
  9. theArgus

    theArgus Registered Member

    well, shit got complicated last night. she was a huge bitch, but i still slept there, no sex, then woke up we cuddled rolled around then no sex again. she said more mean things. then we kinda fought again, then i think we decided this situation was over, lasted a whole 3 nights, while only having sex the first night and the morning after. at least she said until she's horny again. what a bitch.
  10. theArgus

    theArgus Registered Member

    so last night she wants me to come hold her cuz she felt on the verge of a nervous breakdown. i had been drinking a bit, and some friends were coming over to drink, i told them i had to deal with stuff and i couldnt do it anymore tonight. walked the block to her house, the people i was gonna be hanging out with had just gone there after that and were hanging out in the downstairs of her house with the other people there, then i went up and laid with her a bit. she wouldnt talk to me, but i tried to comfort her as best i could. the vibes were all weird tho, and i left after a short time. i probably should have stayed, but as she put it today my energy said i clearly wanted to go. and i wanted to hang out downstairs. and her friends told her i was in a surprisingly good mood, i told her thats how ive been lately, as she thinks theres a correlation with her depressed mood and my happy mood. and we kinda argued today, she convinced me i was a dick about how my visit to her went, and then proceeded to tell me i have no backbone for letting her convince me that in under 5 minutes. then we argued more abuot stupid things, and then she said i never make her happy (and make her hate herself more than anyone else) and doesnt want to talk to me for a few weeks (earlier this week she said forever..haha), and that if she tries talking to me i shouldnt answer. i said whatever thats not even true.

    what the hell. good bad happy sad. thats how we do.


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