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Advice My boyfirend just broke up with me after 5 years, and I feel completely lost and

kristy

New Member
We met in a way that made it seem like it was meant to be (since its not particularly relevant and a long story ill leave it at that)
Since then we have had a tumultuous relationship that consisted of periodic horrible fights that would lead to calling me all sorts of horrible names and constant breaking up and getting back together. But in all other aspects he was a great guy who treated me wonderfully except when we were fighting.

A couple months ago he confessed to cheating on me with an ex that was "the one that got away." I was going to leave him then except that he wrote this beautiful letter to me explaining his feelings- how he was sorry, he didn't know why he did he, he still wants to be with me and get married and start a family etc. So we made the decision to get back together.
In april, two weeks after that we got in a huge fight over money and he broke up with me. Days after the fight he then stated that he wants to stay on a break because he feels that I don't communicate enough. Since the breakup we have been trying to hang out and pick up the pieces and put the relationship back together.

But yesterday after being distant and moody he told me he has been slowly falling for a girl ( not sure if same ex, i dont really want to know) and feels like we hit a wall in our relationship and that it's over. I feel completely crushed and lost and I have no idea how I'm going to handle next semester, and I need some advice
 

EllyDicious

made of AMBIGUITY
V.I.P.
How old are you guys??

5 years and he cheats on you????
What decent man cheats on his girlfriend of 5 years? (especially on the one that he thinks about marrying someday..).
He sounds so unstable towards you!

I think you should stay away from him. He has this tendency of blame-shifting and to be honest ...no matter how beautifully he wrote the letter... actions speak louder than words and his actions say that he doesn't care much about you.

He shows lack of maturity and communication problems. He still doesn't know what he wants in a relationship and what he's looking for in a girl ....

He needs to grow up!
 
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kristy

New Member
I am 20 and he is 23, and it has been frankly really hard on me. Part of me knows he is not the best for me, but the other part does not want to or know how to let go after five years.
 

EllyDicious

made of AMBIGUITY
V.I.P.
oh please.....you're just 20 and you've got PLENTY of time ahead to find someone else worthy of another 5-10-forever years! Don't waste your precious time on him..

He's just 23 and he's sowing his wild oats.
You got together at a VERY young age and both of you (I guess) didn't have the chance to see other people. This guy needs to see what's out there before he gets serious with you or anyone else. He's not ready to settle down YET.
Don't listen to what he says but observe what he does!

Try to go out with friends and talk to someone close to you. Do not keep it inside.
Get a hobby and spend time outside doing fun things with friends and/or family members.

It's not easy to throw away 5 years but I'm sure this experience will make you stronger and you'll be thankful it happened now and not later...
 
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kristy

New Member
Thank you so much, you are definitely helping me see this in a different light. I think now that my semester is over i will go pick up a few new hobbies.
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
I know how you feel but the truth is if he loved you he would not of cheated. Your young and have you life ahead of you don't waste it on someone like him. If you stay he will more than likely keep doing this.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
Five years is a very long time, so I completely understand why you feel the way you do. It sounds like you loved him very much, but unfortunately that love was not reciprocated.
He has shown you zero respect and I don't believe he is worthy of your tears.

The only advice I can give you is to stay well clear of him. If he makes any attempt to get back in touch, don't give him the time of day. When you're ready, get yourself back out there and find an adult who will treat you right. Take all the time you need to get over him, but don't let him back in when you have.
 

kristy

New Member
Thank you very much Bliss, I am going to try to stay away from him, but unfortunately we picked many of the same classes together for next semester, so hopefully I will be able to face him then.
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
I can understand how it would be tough having to be in class with him. I wish you luck. I know exactly how you are feeling.
 
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