I ♥ Haters
First you add some sugar, then a pinch of perversion, a dash of violence and whole lot of imagination and... tah dah:
Ah, le manufique...You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like roleplay.
You: omg yes, so fucking horny
Stranger: got kik?
You: nope, sorry
You: i’m not allowed to keep a camera. my mom says i’ll just go around exposing my teenage vagina to people online
Stranger: can you describe yourself for me?
You: sure... i have brown hair, blue eyes and huge boobs - 40DD to be exact.
Stranger: you sound hot
Stranger: ho long are your legs?
You: long enough to reach the floor lol
Stranger: I have a powerful sex drive...
You: oooh, that sounds intimidating
Stranger: Are you really 17?
You: yep. i haven’t aged at all this whole time we’ve been talking
Stranger: so what do you want to do
You: you wanna role play with me?
Stranger: what did you have in mind?
You: hold on, let me just think of a hot cyber fantasy for us
Stranger: do you have a facebook?
You: ok...get the powerful sex drive ready to go
Stranger: sounds good to me...
You: ok are you ready for the fantasy?
You: *we are shopping for some sexy lingerie at Victoria's Secret*
Stranger: go on
You: so... what would you like me to try on next dear? *i say that in a seductive voice*
Stranger: how about some sexy lace panties?
You: ok what color baby?
Stranger: pink one would be very nice...
You: sure thing hun....*i grab the pink panties off the rack*
Stranger: maybe i can help you try that on in the dressing room
You: the fuck is this shit???
Stranger: did I do something?
You: these fucking panties were made in japan!
Stranger: is that bad?
You: yes! thats fucking bad!
You: what do those motherfuckers know about making lingerie! do i look like a
motherfucking size 00 to them???
Stranger: tell me about it, babe
You: those fuckers need to stick to making electronic shit!
Stranger: yes they do...
You: yaaaaaaaaaaar!! this shit makes me so mad!!! *i start stripping off my clothes in the middle of the store, out of anger*
You: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhh! tina mad! tina smash!
Stranger: hey hey hey...baby, calm down...
You: calm down? i'll show you calm down!!
You: *i take a coat hanger and start beating the japanese sales girl with it*
Stranger: baby, its ok...id rather see you naked anyway
You: *i rake the coat hanger across her face, gashing it open.....as the wounds bleed profusely, i spit at her*
Stranger: babe, take is easy. lets go home, ill make you feel better
You: *I rub my boobs all over my spittle on her face.....then I squat over her and begin to piss on her*
Stranger: yes.... go on
You: *2 mall cops rush into the store on their segways, armed with clubs and pepper spray......i quickly distract them by starting to rub my groin into yours*
Stranger: I'm getting so hard...
You: *as the watch our erotic dance with fascination i pull out a 9 mm out of my handbag and shoot both of them between the eyes...they crumble to the floor dead.*
Stranger: this is quite the fantasy...
You: *i jump behind the counter and pull the cash register out. i pour the money into a victoria's secret bag and i shoot out the secuirty cameras and throw the bag to you*
Stranger: i guess i'll run out of there...
Stranger: when do i get to fuck you?
You: not now, you fool! there are coppers everywhere. there will be plenty of time for fucking when we’re in the cayman islands.
You: *i point the gun to your head, taking you as a hostage..we walk slowly out of the store*
You: *the mall is now filled with cops and a swat team...they have snipers training their guns at me....I use you as a human shield.*
Stranger: gee, thanks
You: you'll never take me alive you motherfucking coppers!!!" *i scream, waving my gun around*
You: *to show them i mean business, i shoot you in the leg....then i randomly fire some shots into the air.*
Stranger: i’m serious now where does the sex part come in?
You: *suddenly i recognize one of the police officers...it's lindsay...i went to high school with her*
You: *we ended up wearing the same dress at homecoming....i hate that bitch!!*
Stranger: this isn't quite what i had expected...
You: *i start firing away at linsay.....i blow off her right shoulder*
Stranger: this is just getting weird
You: *lindsay fires back, but misses and shoots you in the groin....you scream in pain as your dick is now horribly wounded*
Stranger: i think I have to go now
You: *without your dick, you are useless to me. i point the gun at the back of your head, and shoot you....your head explodes in a brilliant fury. your brain matter flies everywhere in the store*
Stranger: what the fuck is wrong with you?
You: *i grab a green bra off the rack, and tie your limp, dead body to the front of me....using your corpse as a shield to any bullets....I give one last kiss into your open cranium and i say “good night, sweet prince”*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.