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Mrs. Butterballs Home Made Sex Chat

Bubbles

I ♥ Haters
First you add some sugar, then a pinch of perversion, a dash of violence and whole lot of imagination and... tah dah:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like roleplay.

Stranger: asl

You: hi

You: 17/f/can

Stranger: 25/m/usa

Stranger: horny?

You: omg yes, so fucking horny

Stranger: got kik?

You: nope, sorry

Stranger: pics?

You: no

You: i’m not allowed to keep a camera. my mom says i’ll just go around exposing my teenage vagina to people online

Stranger: can you describe yourself for me?

You: sure... i have brown hair, blue eyes and huge boobs - 40DD to be exact.

Stranger: you sound hot

Stranger: ho long are your legs?

You: long enough to reach the floor lol

Stranger: lol

Stranger: I have a powerful sex drive...

You: oooh, that sounds intimidating

Stranger: Are you really 17?

You: yep. i haven’t aged at all this whole time we’ve been talking

Stranger: so what do you want to do

You: you wanna role play with me?

Stranger: sure

Stranger: what did you have in mind?

You: hold on, let me just think of a hot cyber fantasy for us ;)

Stranger: ok

Stranger: do you have a facebook?

You: ok...get the powerful sex drive ready to go

Stranger: sounds good to me...

You: ok are you ready for the fantasy?

Stranger: yes

You: *we are shopping for some sexy lingerie at Victoria's Secret*

Stranger: go on

You: so... what would you like me to try on next dear? *i say that in a seductive voice*

Stranger: how about some sexy lace panties?

You: ok what color baby?

Stranger: pink one would be very nice...

You: sure thing hun....*i grab the pink panties off the rack*

Stranger: maybe i can help you try that on in the dressing room ;)

You: the fuck is this shit???

Stranger: what?

Stranger: did I do something?

You: these fucking panties were made in japan!

Stranger: is that bad?

You: yes! thats fucking bad!

You: what do those motherfuckers know about making lingerie! do i look like a
motherfucking size 00 to them???

Stranger: tell me about it, babe

You: those fuckers need to stick to making electronic shit!

Stranger: yes they do...

You: yaaaaaaaaaaar!! this shit makes me so mad!!! *i start stripping off my clothes in the middle of the store, out of anger*

You: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhh! tina mad! tina smash!

Stranger: hey hey hey...baby, calm down...

You: calm down? i'll show you calm down!!

You: *i take a coat hanger and start beating the japanese sales girl with it*

Stranger: baby, its ok...id rather see you naked anyway

You: *i rake the coat hanger across her face, gashing it open.....as the wounds bleed profusely, i spit at her*

Stranger: babe, take is easy. lets go home, ill make you feel better ;)

You: *I rub my boobs all over my spittle on her face.....then I squat over her and begin to piss on her*

Stranger: yes.... go on

You: *2 mall cops rush into the store on their segways, armed with clubs and pepper spray......i quickly distract them by starting to rub my groin into yours*

Stranger: I'm getting so hard...

You: *as the watch our erotic dance with fascination i pull out a 9 mm out of my handbag and shoot both of them between the eyes...they crumble to the floor dead.*

Stranger: this is quite the fantasy...

You: *i jump behind the counter and pull the cash register out. i pour the money into a victoria's secret bag and i shoot out the secuirty cameras and throw the bag to you*

Stranger: i guess i'll run out of there...

Stranger: when do i get to fuck you?

You: not now, you fool! there are coppers everywhere. there will be plenty of time for fucking when we’re in the cayman islands.

You: *i point the gun to your head, taking you as a hostage..we walk slowly out of the store*

You: *the mall is now filled with cops and a swat team...they have snipers training their guns at me....I use you as a human shield.*

Stranger: gee, thanks

You: you'll never take me alive you motherfucking coppers!!!" *i scream, waving my gun around*

You: *to show them i mean business, i shoot you in the leg....then i randomly fire some shots into the air.*

Stranger: i’m serious now where does the sex part come in?

You: *suddenly i recognize one of the police officers...it's lindsay...i went to high school with her*

You: *we ended up wearing the same dress at homecoming....i hate that bitch!!*

Stranger: this isn't quite what i had expected...

You: *i start firing away at linsay.....i blow off her right shoulder*

Stranger: this is just getting weird

You: *lindsay fires back, but misses and shoots you in the groin....you scream in pain as your dick is now horribly wounded*

Stranger: i think I have to go now

You: *without your dick, you are useless to me. i point the gun at the back of your head, and shoot you....your head explodes in a brilliant fury. your brain matter flies everywhere in the store*

Stranger: what the fuck is wrong with you?

You: *i grab a green bra off the rack, and tie your limp, dead body to the front of me....using your corpse as a shield to any bullets....I give one last kiss into your open cranium and i say “good night, sweet prince”*

Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Ah, le manufique...
 

Rebeccaaa

yellow 4!
:rofl: :lol:

how do you come up with this stuff, bubz


wait, don't answer that. I don't want to know
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
That was so funny, I laughed so hard I had tears running down my face.
 

CaptainObvious

Son of Liberty
V.I.P.
"this is quite the fantasy" and "what the fuck is wrong with you" made the laugh.
 

Wade8813

Registered Member
I'm surprised how long it took him to start getting weirded out...
 

Ramiel

Registered Member
Oh wow. Wasn't what I was thinking I was going to read. Surprised the hell out of me. That's some funny stuff.
 

Smelnick

Creeping On You
V.I.P.
That's awesome! You're like the quinton tarantino of porn!
 
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