MIT Researchers: Tinfoil Hats Counterproductive

[ExpectantlyIronic]

It has long been suspected that the government has been using satellites to read and control the minds of certain citizens. The use of aluminum helmets has been a common guerrilla tactic against the government's invasive tactics. Surprisingly, these helmets can in fact help the government spy on citizens by amplifying certain key frequency ranges reserved for government use.

[...]

The helmets amplify frequency bands that coincide with those allocated to the US government between 1.2 Ghz and 1.4 Ghz. According to the FCC, These bands are supposedly reserved for ''radio location'' (ie, GPS), and other communications with satellites (see, for example,). The 2.6 Ghz band coincides with mobile phone technology. Though not affiliated by government, these bands are at the hands of multinational corporations.

It requires no stretch of the imagination to conclude that the current helmet craze is likely to have been propagated by the Government, possibly with the involvement of the FCC. We hope this report will encourage the paranoid community to develop improved helmet designs to avoid falling prey to these shortcomings.

On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets: An Empirical Study

Nice try, MIT, but everyone knows you're in the pocket of the people trying to get me.

 

[viLky]

This is what they do at MIT? I expected more out of them. You'd think they would be creating robots or something productive. Eh, who am I to judge, I'm not doing anything productive either. =P

The pictures were funny to look at, too.

 

[ExpectantlyIronic]

Luckily, users of Linux an Amiga can get anti-psychotronic computer software to protect themselves. Which invokes the question: people use Amiga and Linux?

From the website:

Don't throw out your old computers! The computer industry, no doubt at the behest of the forces of mind control, is conspiring to replace all aluminum in computer chips with copper. IBM has already shipped millions of copper-based PowerPC CPUs and has its sights on all the other chips on your motherboard.

MindGuard uses the unique psychotronic properties of the aluminum found in the chips throughout personal computers to generate its psychotronic anti-signals. An all-copper computer would not be able to generate proper anti-signals and would be unable to run MindGuard properly (however it should still be able to pick up and decipher the signals since this is done at the semiconductor level).

DO NOT RUN MINDGUARD ON AN ALL COPPER PC! Computers with just a few copper components, such as the CPU, should still work fine for now. Make sure to do your research before replacing your mind control protection computer.

Combined with the computer industry's campaign of continuous obsolescence and the upgrade treadmill, this could render most consumer available personal computers unable to block psychotronics within five years! Lucky for us paranoids, Linux runs well on all-aluminum 486s, and Amiga computers remain as good as they were in 1990.

 

[Wade8813]

Isn't lead supposed to be good at protecting you from stuff like that? It's what Luthor uses to keep Superman from spying on him.

 

[icegoat63]

Radiologists also make you wear a lead vest when you're getting an X-Ray. So yeah.. I would assume Lead = Anti-Conspiracy Win.