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Meeting People After College

Zenheizer

needs practice
Hi.

I just wanted to ask what's everyone's experiences meeting new people for friends and dating after graduating from college?

I live in the suburbs of Chicago, IL, USA and recently moved to a new suburb for a new job after getting out of my parents house. I know zero to no one, and I have to call this apartment home for at least a year and want to make the best out of it. I never really had to make new friends/try hard to meet new people because my established friends always carried over: elementary school to high school, to college and we all live in Chicago and the suburbs so it's nearby.

Now that I have to live in this new suburban city 40 miles away from my stomping grounds, I'm forced to fend for myself and meet new people at a large US corporation as well as a new surrounding area I'm not familiar with. I know I can always travel to the city or my old neighborhood but I DO want to try to learn how to meet new people and break the mold.

I feel like it's way different meeting people than it was in undergrad, it's not a campus where friendly bright eyed students show up in masses and area always looking to "hang out."

This is especially true for the dating scene - I'm newly single and trying to learn what it's like to talk to girls again.... In college the questions and evaluations are carefree and along the lines of "what dorm do you live in? what is your major? Where is your next class? Have you eaten at the Thai place across on 6th street? Are you going to this bar later? That's a cool barcrawl shirt!!"

Real, professional women don't explicitly ask these following questions, but definitely have a more sophisticated approach and want to know the answer sooner or later to "How much money do you make? What kind of car do you drive? Are you well traveled/worldly? Can you take me to the Bahamas in the future if I choose to continue to talk to you? Kids? Can you fix the pipes and maintain the lawn?"

I guess I'm just getting used to a new area, new job and new social lifestyle. Thoughts, experiences, and feedback all appreciated! Sometimes I feel like I'm putting too much pressure on myself, but it still runs through my head every hour of the day.
 

Crouton

Ninja
V.I.P.
Maybe you could join some sort of sporting club. I've made heaps of friends at sporting clubs over the years, and we always ended up spending time hanging out outside of the clubs practices as well.
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
Is there a hangout close by that people at the company you work for go after work? If so you might get to know them better and they might introduce you to other people. Are there any community functions you could attend or work for that matter?

If I had just met someone and they were wanting to know how much I made and if I could take them to the Bahamas that would make me wonder if their interest was in me or my money.
 

Merc

Problematic Shitlord
V.I.P.
Hi. I just wanted to ask what's everyone's experiences meeting new people for friends and dating after graduating from college?
If I wasn't in a relationship, I'd probably be out at the bars or hanging out with friends I already have and looking to network out from there. I find one of the easiest ways to build friends is to branch out from those you already have.
 

Doc

Trust me, I'm The Doctor.
V.I.P.
The best way for me to make friends is to talk to everyone I work with and try to make connections. I don't care much for bars. You can also try looking up local events, concerts, and so on and introducing yourself to people there.
 

JesseCuster

Registered Member
Without school or work (the two most common places to meet a SO) the only other (good) option are clubs (any kind). Go on Meetup and find some activity you find interesting (I did a walking tour/treasure hunt/quiz thing organized by someone architecture guy) and meeting new people will come naturally - just do the first few activities with no goal in mind, just the activity.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
I met the majority of my friends at work. I am not really one for bars and clubs, so it was the only option I really had.
In fact, some of my closest friends started out as colleagues. There are people you'll see day in and day out, so it's best to try and get along and see if you have common interests.
 

idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
When moving to a new city away from home, work might be your best bet for meeting new people and making new friends. When I recently went to the States to work there for a year, I was obviously thousands of miles from my friends. I met my one group of friends from work.

The other way I met a bunch of my other friends, and this is actually a little dodgy, especially for a girl alone, is I just started talking to a guy at the AT&T store about soccer and he invited me to an Irish pub to go watch soccer with him and meet his friends. I had just met the guy and took a chance and went with him to the pub that same day, not even knowing the city or how I would get home or how far I would be going from home. :lol:

So I guess my recommendation is to just put yourself out there a little. Take some chances and get out. I met a lot of my close friends through that Irish pub, and as fate would have it, I met my now boyfriend through mutual friends from that pub (but not actually at the pub).

Good luck. Meeting new people and exploring new frontiers is fun! I hope you will have a great time doing so!
 

Zenheizer

needs practice
I know. It's just hard because I never had to try to meet new friends. They always came overboard from my last school!

I work in the suburbs, and there's not as many young people. I'm the 2nd youngest in my small department but I think the other 24 year old guy could be a cool guy to hang out with. A lot of people work from home in the office AND my immediate team I talk to on the phone mostly, because they are spread out all over the States. There's no happy hour, no regularity really because everyone is busy and has varying schedules. I feel like it'll have to be outside work to find real buddies.

It's just hard for me to put myself out there, I'm an extrovert but trying to find a crowd I fit in is difficult for me I think.
 
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