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Advice Marriage Advice

dDave

Well-Known Member
V.I.P.
I’m getting married next month. Never been married before. Never even dated another girl.

So... married folks, I need your help.

What marriage advice do you have to give?

A bit about us...
-Born again Christians
-Age gap of less than year
-Known eachother over 3 years

Ready. Set. Discuss!
 

Millz

Better Call Saul
Staff member
V.I.P.
Communication....compromise...compassion...

The fact you've known each other 3 years is nice too...that's a good, long time. I assume you aren't living together right now for religious reasons? I only bring it up because being together and living together are two entirely different things.

Which could lead to this...

You might find some things that annoy or bug you and my suggestion would always be talk about it, no matter if its big or little (especially if its big). Just always be upfront and honest and usually it'll work out just fine.
 
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Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
Congratulations Dave.

Millz pretty much said it. Always talk to each other about any problem big or small. I have a feeling you are already doing that.
 

dDave

Well-Known Member
V.I.P.
Never forget: Happy wife, happy life. Whatever you gotta do to make that work.
I keep hearing about doing that. I imagine the execution of that idea is much more difficult than understanding the concept.

Communication....compromise...compassion...

The fact you've known each other 3 years is nice too...that's a good, long time. I assume you aren't living together right now for religious reasons? I only bring it up because being together and living together are two entirely different things.

Which could lead to this...

You might find some things that annoy or bug you and my suggestion would always be talk about it, no matter if its big or little (especially if its big). Just always be upfront and honest and usually it'll work out just fine.
Yeah. Not living together until next month after the wedding. Still getting to spend a lot of time together.

I bought a house in June. She’s actually been living there (she moved here from out of state earlier this year) and I’ve been living at my parents house for the summer.

We’ve already begun to notice small things that each of us want done a certain


Congratulations Dave.

Millz pretty much said it. Always talk to each other about any problem big or small. I have a feeling you are already doing that.
We’re both pretty non-confrontational, lol. It can be hard but yes we are trying to do that as best we can.
 

MenInTights

not a plastic bag
I keep hearing about doing that. I imagine the execution of that idea is much more difficult than understanding the concept.
It's a simple way to remember the fundamentals. Put her needs first, buy her things, listen, write her notes, ect... If you can make her happy, you will be also.
Being selfish is miserable. Serving is where happiness is.
 

CaptainObvious

Son of Liberty
V.I.P.
You’re not always going to be the happy kissy couple you are now. Things are going to get rough at times. Seriously ask yourself at times when you’re arguing or upset, is this battle worth it? Is arguing about this worth it? It’s easy to get caught up in “but I’m right, and I’m not going to give in” at times, but most of those times, the argument isn’t worth it.

Don’t stop doing little things. A text during the day telling her you love her, holding her hand, hugging her for no reason, things like that. Plus, you’re the man, make her feel protected and that you put her needs first. Take care of your woman, and things that you do that may irritate or bother her, will be less important to her.

Good luck, man. I’ve made mistakes, especially in my first marriage. You guys can have a long happy life together if you put God and yourselves first.
 

Mirage

Secret Agent
Staff member
V.I.P.
My advice is don't assume that after getting a certain amount of advice from others that you'll be completely ready, or even ready at all. Honestly, you're going to have to drive the course yourself a bit to really learn how marriage works. Book knowledge and real-life experience really diverge at the altar. There's a big difference and, while book knowledge and advice from others can be nice, when you're falling towards earth from a few thousand feet and your parachute doesn't open, staying calm and trying to figure out your unique situation is probably smarter given the timeframe you have than trying to remember what Chapter 13, paragraph 4 had to say about parachutes that don't open.

To summarize, go into marriage knowing that you are about to be in uncharted waters and you may need to make your own map instead of relying solely on maps others have made. There be kraken in these waters. 🦑
 

Impaired

Registered Member
Never go to bed angry. Apologize. Compromise. Marriage requires constant care and tending. Put in the work. It is very rewarding.

If your partner's happiness is as important to you as your own, you have the tools you need.
 

MenInTights

not a plastic bag
I’m getting married next month. Never been married before. Never even dated another girl.

So... married folks, I need your help.

What marriage advice do you have to give?

A bit about us...
-Born again Christians
-Age gap of less than year
-Known eachother over 3 years

Ready. Set. Discuss!
I saw your girl on FB. My best advice is to marry her quick before she realizes she can do a lot better. Lol.
She's a keeper.
 
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