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Mana Gates (Age 13+ mild language)


The Super Pimp of GF
Chapter 1 “The world of Mana Gatesâ€Â
Thousands of years ago in the land of Mana there was peace and harmony throughout the land. The people of this world were ruled by the gentle king Oberon and his wife Lucia. The land flourished and each person was blessed with magical powers of the elements that flowed from the tree of Mana. This energy gave ordinary people extraordinary powers and as a result everyone in the land was equal. The king’s family flourished and he had 3 sons and 3 daughters. Each of them was proficient in a different element. Aquia was a water wielder, Pyres was a fire wielder, Aire was a wind wielder, Bolt was a thunder wielder, Rocky was an earth wielder and finally Deirdre who was a darkness wielder. They all remained untied under their father’s rule because he had obtained the ability to control all the elements making him the strongest in the land. The world continued on in this manner for a long time until king Oberon died suddenly in his sleep.
The children began fighting amongst themselves to decide who would become the king or queen of Mana. Their mother tried to calm their quarreling but she could never succeed. After years of turmoil queen Lucia died from a broken heart. The true fight for power began there because with no glue holding the now adults together they all separated and began their fight for power. The war continued for many years and vast amounts of mana were being drained from the Tree of Mana. Soon it seemed that all the magic was dried up and the tree disappeared. This caused the fighting to escalate to even greater heights because each side blamed the other for the destruction of the tree. Each child of Oberon had now set up their own kingdom in different regions of Mana and the fighting had come to a stalemate because now they had no power with which to fight.
Years passed of an uneasy peace between the 6 nations but when the kingdoms began developing technology to tap into the remaining mana of the world the fighting recommenced. Since less people had the ability to wield magic the sides were often uneven and sometimes one kingdom would completely dominate another only to be defeated by one of the other kingdoms. Since their new way of fighting was obviously not working each kingdom ceased fighting and once again began developing ways to harness the power that they once had been able to use with the greatest of ease. Shortly after the children of Oberon began dying a new form of mana control was formed by tattooing special symbols on peoples hands they could tap into the mana flow of the planet and use it at will. This took a heavy on the user’s body because in order to use it they had to put some of their energy into the tattoo when they summoned the power and the more energy they put in the more drained their bodies felt. These tattoos are called “mana gatesâ€Â. Only one of the original rulers of Mana was still alive and that was the youngest of them, the wielder of darkness, Deirdre. Her kingdom was the least active in fighting but it was one of the most powerful. It would only defend itself if attacked but would not invade other nations. Once all her siblings were dead Deirdre tried to reach out to the new rulers to come to a peaceful reconciliation but her attempts were in vain and at the peace conference a fire wielder using a mana gate attacked Deirdre and since her magic had been drained and she was very old she died instantly.
The years that followed were chaotic and ruler by those who had mana gates. Eager to use their powers the new rulers were constantly in battle except the Darkness nation that still maintained its neutrality. This all remained the same until the other 5 nations made a temporary alliance to destroy the darkness nation and split up its goods. While all these plans were being made the children of the original 6 rulers were in hiding because they were being looked down upon because all of them wanted nothing more to live in peace and harmony with each other unlike their parents. The children of the original 6 rulers disappeared and nobody knows what happened to them but a legend appeared that was whispered amongst the low class people of each nation. The legend was that someone that could wield all the elements would rise one day, bring back the mana tree and that there would be peace again in the land of Mana.
Our story begins several years after the proposed alliance between the 5 other nations and begins in the darkness nation. It is the story of a teenager named Calintz whose father is the son of Deirdre. Unlike his parents he hates the whole peace and love thing and he was born with a mana gate which is very unusual considering none of his family members ever had one.

Chapter 2 “You’re such a show off Calintz!â€Â
As Calintz walked through the hallway of the barracks of the defense division of the darkness army he thought to himself about how futile it was to try and remain neutral in a time of war. He knew that as long as they stayed like this they would be weak and unable to thwart an invasion if one should happen. Calintz is currently the top ranked member of the darkness army and has never been defeated. He is the only member of the army to have ever been in a true fight and this fight was between him and a fire nation child when he was only a boy. Calintz never planned to join the army he originally wanted to explore but since he was born with a mana gate it was assumed that he would join even though it was against his and his parent’s wishes. Regardless of that he was the best soldier and he never was out of line but he deep down knew that the darkness nation couldn’t last very long with the stance they have now.
As Calintz passed the briefing room he was stopped by his commander who said he urgently needed to speak with him. The commander asked him to give a show to the new trainees of the army to show just how powerful the army members could be. Calintz agreed to help out and immediately went to the training area where he was met with thunderous applause from the new rookies. He walked to the center of the training arena and the commander walked in behind him and yelled for the rookies to be quiet for a minute. He then started to speak with great authority “I have brought you all here to issue a challenge to show you what you could be capable of if you join the army. Anyone who wants to can challenge our senior officer Calintz Rogue. So who is first?†All the rookies began to scream and yell and 50 of them got in line to fight Calintz. The first fighter approached Calintz and pulled out a boa staff. In response Calintz pulled out a wooden sword. Within seconds Calintz took out 20 of the fighters that had volunteered and the rest all surrendered without even throwing a punch. Calintz then threw his wooden sword on the ground and slowly walked out of the training room without even breaking a sweat.
He made it half way through the hall and he heard from behind him “You’re such a show off Calintz! Come on couldn’t you have even gave those kids a chance to fight back instead of just knocking them out as fast as you could.†Calintz turned around “So Mimi I didn’t think I would see you today I thought you were on a mission to the weapon development lab?†Mimi grabbed his arm and dragged him to the cafeteria and forced him to sit down and she came back with pudding. “Is this still your favorite Calintz?†Calintz nodded and smiled. She always seemed to know what to say or do when he wasn’t feeling 100%. If she wasn’t already engaged to the general of the darkness army then he would have liked to date her. Her fiancé walked into the cafeteria and sat down next to Mimi. He smiled at her and then looked Calintz in the eyes “So I heard about you little show in the training room today. I heard you beat some rookies up pretty bad. If you keep up with that attitude then you will never get a promotion. Every time someone asks you to do something extra other than your normal job you always do it but over do it.†Calintz stood up and walked out of the cafeteria.
Mimi stood up and looked down at the general “God Jean why do you always do that every time I am hanging out with the Calintz? We have been friends since we were kids and now I can’t spend a moment alone with him without you getting jealous!†She then stormed out of the Café. General Jean sat alone at the table and began muttering to himself “That stupid Calintz he will pay. Every time I want some time with my girl he always seems to be in the way. I will make sure that he gets demoted.†He sat alone at the table and just fumed.
Calintz had already made it to his room and locked his room. “Why do I put up with this bull? I could take him out in a second just like those rookies. I know that if I wanted to I could be general but with him on the job I will stay just an officer in the army.†Calintz laid back in his bed and fell fast a sleep.

Chapter 3 “I knew he was a rogueâ€Â
A panicked knock woke Calintz from his deep sleep and when he opened his door he saw that the person at his door was Mimi. “What do you want Mimi?†She was breathing heavily and she couldn’t seem to utter out a coherent sentence and it was just a jumble of words. “Ok slow down Mimi tell me exactly what the problem is.†She braced herself against the door frame and continued to breathe hard “News just in from the intelligence division! It seems that the other five nations of Mana are arranging and alliance against us. They will plan an attack and with one foul swoop they will attack us and wipe us out!†Calintz showed no reaction to the news because he knew it was bound to happen it was only a matter of time. “Alright Mimi what plans are they making to counter attack this alliance?†From behind her came Jean “So Calintz you heard of our predicament? We have it under control. We plan to negotiate with them and if it comes to it we will surrender.†Calintz was dumbstruck “No way! Why would we do that? It makes no sense. Why waste all our effort on giving up? We built our army to defend ourselves not to just to give up!†Calintz sprinted down the hall and saw the king of the Darkness nation walking down the hall followed by his negotiations team and he instantly knew that what he heard was the truth. He then walked past Mimi and Jean and when Mimi went to talk to him he just walked past her and proceeded to go into his room and lock the door.
He sat alone in his room for hours and as he began to fall asleep he heard a commotion outside. He walked outside and saw the king walking back into the war room and saw that he had a very downtrodden look on his face. Calintz clenched his fist and knew that they were going to surrender. He heard screams coming from the war room and he decided to listen in. It was Jean screaming Calintz could make him out saying “Why on earth wouldn’t they accept our surrender?!?! This is complete and total absurdity!!†This is what Calintz had wanted to happen but he then heard something that disturbed him it was the king “We don’t stand a chance against their army so we will not fight back we will accept our fate the army infantry division will be dissolved and disbanded thank you for your efforts but we have no choice but to give up†Jean walked out of the room and as he looked down the hall he saw Calintz walking back into his room. A few minutes Calintz was making his way down the main hall of the army and he had made his decision he would follow his own path. He would accept extinction quietly he would get stronger and fight back even if there was no darkness nation he is determined to survive. “I will not let the lessons of the darkness nation disappear I will carry them on within meâ€Â.
Inside the base Mimi and Jean watched Calintz as he walked away. “I knew he was a rogue. He would be the first to desert the army†said Jean as he walked away. Mimi watched on the verge of tears as her old friend walked slowly into the distance. She muttered to herself “I believe in you Calintz… You may be the only one of us to survive and I hope that you do because you are the only one who carries on the true ideals of the darkness nation.†As she spoke her words all of the warriors in the army started to march into the audience room to hear the bad news and to hear the fate of the darkness nation.


Once again, you write a wonderful story. It has details in the personality of characters although I have a hard time imagining what the characters look like. Intriguing plot.


The Super Pimp of GF
Chapter 4 “Got Ya!!â€Â
Calintz had been wandering for hours and his spiked silver hair was beginning to droop. He was drenched with sweat and he hadn’t seen any people for days. As night began to fall he looked ahead and saw an encampment but he couldn’t tell who the people there were. As he approached he noticed that their red clothes and style of tents all had the markings of the fire nation on them. There was no way he could rest there and as he was beginning to walk away from the camp a fireball came out of nowhere and just barely missed him “It is a darkness nation warrior get him!†Calintz was soon surrounded and his vision began to blur from sheer exhaustion and he passed out amidst the fire nation warriors. When he awoke he saw one man sitting in front of him “So we got ya!†Calintz released a flem filled cough and replied “Yes it looks like you didâ€Â. The soldier then stood up grabbed Calintz by the rope that was tied around him and dragged him out into the center of the camp. It was now morning and the sun was piercing to Calintz eyes. A man who was dressed much nicer than the others stepped forward and began to speak “Well by your purple eyes, silver hair, clothing and style of mana gate we can assume you are a member of the darkness nation but why are you so far away from your city?†Calintz moved his body so he was sitting upright “Well the darkness nation was about to fall and I didn’t agree with their decision to give in so I left to find my own path.†All of the fire nation men began to laugh and another man grabbed Calintz, tied another rope around him and tied that rope to the top of a pole so that Calintz’s feet were just off the ground and they left him there till nightfall.
The men surrounded him and when Calintz looked he saw they all had mana gates. They began to power up and together they released a huge fire blast that would have cooked anyone alive. But the fire never reached Calintz. Their attack went up into the air and began to swirl in the sky. The men were terrified and looked at Calintz and his eyes were now red and his demeanor had changed. He broke free and with a swift gesture of his hands he brought the fire attack back down upon the fire nation warriors. Calintz stared at the smoldering ashes where the warriors had once stood and his eyes turned back to purple. “What the hell just happened? One minute I was about to be fried and the next I am standing in front of a pile of ashes and I am free. Well best not to dwell on it. I am free so I should take it as a gift.†Calintz collected supplies that he needed on his travels and he made his way out of the fire nation camp and moved on.
He had been walking for hours and he came upon a small hut that was in the middle of nowhere. There was no camp near it our streams not a single thing. So he decided to investigate. Calintz approached the hut and when he opened the door he saw an old woman sitting in a wooden chair. She had an extremely long nose and her skin was full of wrinkles. She lifted her staff and motioned for Calintz to sit. “So a descendant of Oberon has wandered his way to my hut interesting. Since you are here I shall share some much needed information with you. There is an odd sign above your head. This sign denotes confusion and conflict within your self. The only way for you to gain your true potential is to become united. There is something you must seek out. The sword of Oberon… This sword had the ability to amplify the power of all of the elements and unify them as one. You are the one to find this sword and it shall be you and you alone who shall stop the war.†Calintz began to laugh heartily “Ya ok like I could wield all the elements. Look at my knuckle it is the sign of the darkness†The old woman began to laugh “So you don’t understand my words yet but you shall soon know what I mean. You see your personality is like this nation, divided. You have 6 different personalities all of them are a part of you but when you switch personalities your eye color and your mana gate will change to whatever element the personality uses. In order to achieve balance in yourself you must balance the elements and master them one by one but they only true way for you to fully be able to control all of them is to get the sword of Oberon, The sword of elements.†She waved her hand and Calintz fell deep asleep.

Chapter 5 “Good byeâ€Â
Back at the darkness nation’s army headquarters Mimi and Jean were packing their bags to leave the base. Upon decommissioning they received a moderate amount of money to help them get started but after that they are alone. Both of them knew it wouldn’t be long that they would be on their own because soon everyone in the nation will be dead. They bought a small house and got married because they figured it would be the best thing to do with the little time they had left. A little time passed and rumors of the 5 allied nations’ armies were closing in. The people of the darkness nation felt like every day was their last.
One fateful day, 3 years after Calintz had left, in the distance Mimi could make out flags and her heart began to race and she knew what this was. It was the day that they had dreaded; the allied armies had come to wipe them off the face of Mana. The people began to flee with the few belongings they could carry with them. Things were exploding around them and Jean stood steadfast ready to fight the invading army. He was the only person with a mana gate that hadn’t run away. He began to power up and used his magic to fight as best he could. Jean took out hundreds of warriors and he felt like this was a lot easier than he thought it would be because he was easily repelling the invading troops. Then the worst happened, the true army of mana gate wielders arrived and began to tear the town apart. The army had blocked all of the citizens of the town inside with a ring of fire and outside the ring of fire were countless soldiers.
Jean had to laugh “Man Calintz was right… He got out of here while he could and he may be the only one of us to survive!†He powered up to his max and charged at the invaders and he was fairly successful but it was all in vain because there were too many of them for one man to fight alone. The leader of the allied army stepped forward “ex-general Jean Hawkins? How pleasant to meet you and your lovely wife. I know you shall be pleased to hear the news we have for you! We have decided the woman shall be spared from sharing your fate and they shall be given as sex slaves to soldiers of the allied army.†Jean tried to get up to fight him but he was too weakened from the earlier fights to even stand up. “You bastard! You can’t do this to us! Taking our families our loved ones away from us and killing all of the men! Just leave us alone please…†The leader of the army smiled a sinister smile “Just so you know my name is Brigadier General Bolt and I will be taking your wife as my personal slave and trust me she will serve me well and in the name of the thunder nation and all other nations I shall smite you!†He held his hand over his head and it began pulsing with electrical energy. Jean looked at Mimi and with saddened eyes he said to her “Good bye Mimi I love youâ€Â

Chapter 6 “Elemental powerâ€Â
(3 Years earlier)
Calintz had decided to heed the advice of the old woman and would search of the elemental sword of Oberon. While traveling he encountered many strangers and was told that various camps by the 5 nations that were going to ally against the darkness nation were scattered across the frontier outside of the darkness nation. Calintz thought that it would not only be a great way to delay the allied army’s invasion but also it could help him hone his elemental skills. One by one he waged war against each camp and every time he would face a group of elemental wielders he would black out and wake up in a ruined camp. He knew that his latent powers were growing because each time that his other sides took over more and more damage would be done.
He had taken out all of the camps on the frontier and decided that he would start to try and find the elemental sword. While he was walking he encountered two water nation water wielders and they stopped him when they noticed his eye color. They instantly attacked sending Calintz reeling backwards. The water began to drown Calintz but he wasn’t going to give up. All of the sudden out of nowhere the water around him parted and when he looked up his eyes were now blue. “Aqueous Dragon!†A giant water dragon came out of Calintz’s hand and absorbed the water wielders and drowned them to death.
When Calintz regained his normal control he knew that the other sides were now getting not only more powerful but more brutal as time went on and this game of trying to find the sword couldn’t last much longer. He was now desperate because each time he would transform into different elements the effects of the transformations would last longer and his blackouts which originally lasted only a few minutes now could last hours. Something struck Calintz as if he had finally realized what was in front of his face the entire time. The elemental sword could only be in one place: The ruins of Oberon’s castle. It had been destroyed when his children began to fight amongst themselves and the sword was never found. This was where he had to go.
A year passed as he journeyed to the ruins. He was constantly interrupted by soldiers of different nations wanting to fight him or kill him and as a result he reached the ruins but was terribly tired. Before he entered he laid down outside the entrance and took a nap. When he had built up his strength he entered the ruins. The walls were ornately painted even after the years of erosion. He reached what was once the thrown room and saw at the center of the room a sword sticking out of the ground “No way! This couldn’t be that easyâ€Â. He approached the sword and it began to glow and a giant armored centaur appeared in front of him. “I am the guardian of the sword of elements. If you wish to obtain it then you shall have to battle me!†The centaur charged at Calintz and blasted him with fire. As a result the fire elemental personality took over Calintz and began to assault him. The centaur then began using water against Calintz and the fire personality was defeated. Then the earth personality took over and was defeated by wind. The fight continued this way for hours until Calintz was exhausted from the constant strain of switching. “I have to have all of my personalities work together come on!â€Â
All of the sudden Calintz was in a bright white room with 5 other versions of himself and they were all arguing. The darkness Calintz took control “Everyone shut up! We can’t continue this way for much longer. We need to work together if we even hope to defeat this menace!†After much deliberation each version of Calintz shook their head in agreement. With a flash of light Calintz was back in the battle and he was stronger that ever and he began switching his elemental control at will and soon he had overwhelmed the centaur and conquered it. Calintz approached the sword and pulled it out and in a flash of a rainbow colored light his eyes and mana gate had changed. His eyes were dark blue with white pupils and his mana gate was like none he had ever seen before and he knew that it must be the mana gate of all of the elements. He knew he couldn’t do anything with his new powers as they were so he began to train and for a whole year he trained and once he felt he was ready he decided it was time for him to return to his homeland in the hopes that it was still there and maybe he could somehow do something about it’s destiny.


mhm... you seem to be rushing the story... but it is ok.