Man arrested at LHC claims he's from the future

Bananas

Endangered Species
#1
Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future - Crave at CNET UK

Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future


A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.

The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.
Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.
Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

This isn't the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so "abhorrent" that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery.

Professor Brian Cox, a former CERN physicist and full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist, was sympathetic to Mr Cole. "Bless him, he sounds harmless enough. At least he didn't mention bloody black holes."
Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.
 

Sigurd

Internet Dig Dug
#4
Well this guy certainly has some screws loose upstairs or is just plain nuts. When I first read the title of the article I thought it said LSD not LHC.
 

MAgnum9987

Do What Thou Wilt
#6
Communist Chocolate Hellhole. I particularly like that. This guys fucking funny.

I wanna see the pics. Completely laughable
 

Pugz

Ms. Malone
V.I.P.
#7
Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.
Ok, for the stuff in italics *twilight zone music*

For the bit in bold...i lol'ed :lol: They won't be bothered unless he actually hurts someone; which i doubt he will. Overall...this is pretty damn funny xD
 

Diederick

Registered Member
#8
Ugh, clearly someone in need of attention, who knows absolutely nothing of what is going on at the LHC. People should not give this kind of attention to complete losers like that.
 

Bananas

Endangered Species
#10
Does nobody like science fiction any more?

Eloi = The TimeMachine
Bow Tie and Tweed = Doctor Who
Garbage in a Kitchen Blender = Back to the future


...although Im baffled about the Mountain Dew comment?