Make up your own news

HalfEatenSurprise

Registered Member
#1
Post a news bulletin, as if in a newspaper. Make it laudible, plausible, funny, creative and full of satire or wit or whatever

Try to involve a celebrity or something, and have the report sound ridiculous or scandalous. Have it how you like. Long or short it makes no odds.

Example:

Burt Reynolds was snapped in an Amarillo brothel the other day snorting lines of coke off a dirty bathroom floor. A prostitute waited for him in the bath. Universal studios commented on trying to get him discommunicated from Hollywood due to the report of such indecent behaviour.

See that's not true. Yet, it could be. It could happen. I doubt it but you never know. So go, make it as daft and plausible as you can. It'll may be quite funny to see what some of you can come up with.
 

HalfEatenSurprise

Registered Member
#5
If I wanted false news reports, I'd watch Fox News.
Maybe they'll spot our brilliant take on current events and give us a job...

Things like:

Russell Brand was spotted in a deli on Oxford Street the other day. He went in there with the intention of purchasing a turkey club and ended up publicly berating the female cashier on the basis that she rejected his advance.

Gloria Steinway, of Chelsea, refused to meet Russell after her shift was over, as her opinion of him was nothing short of hateful. She had this to say, "He's nothing but a lecherous scumbag, if he thought for a second that I'd be interested then he simply doesn't understand what 'real' women are like, I'm not a female celebrity, I don't make sex tapes and I don't go to bed with someone simply because they're loaded and have the libido of a Rhino." - It is claimed that Russell made numerous lewd comments at her refusal, including a frank and callous verbal attack that brought Gloria's mother into the situation for no good reason.

Russel Brand, shocked at his dismissal commented afterwards, "I think she must have been a lesbian." It is unclear if sexual harrassment charges will ensue as a result of this, or whether both parties will calmly sweep this awkward episode under the carpet.

In other news, Russell has taken this rejection on the chin, and hopes to focus himself on a goal he has wished to fulfil for many years. To become mayor of Cirencester.

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