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Living together before getting married

Babe_Ruth

Sultan of Swat
Staff member
V.I.P.
I put this in Dating and Relationships because I wanted to leave religion out of this.

So, in your opinion, do you believe that it's better if you live with the person you're engaged to before getting married? Meaning, that it's a real good way to know more about this person if you live in the same household for a few months before the big day?

Thoughts?
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
I think you should be living together a lot longer than a few months. It's the only way to truly get to know someone inside and out. People can show you what they want you to see when you don't live together. It's not so easy to keep things hidden when you're under the same roof.
Some people can't handle their partner's bad habits and end up breaking up, or they constantly argue, get on each others nerves, etc. You get to see just how compatible you truly are when you live with someone.
 

Doc

Trust me, I'm The Doctor.
V.I.P.
It all boils down to personality. It's hard to lump all relationships into one category like that. There are plenty of couples that will do well staying in their own apartments before marriage while there are plenty that will live together for years before they are married. It all boils down to personal beliefs and how they mesh.

Communication is key in a situation like this. Both partners need to openly discuss their goals in the relationship in order to set a proper "move-in" time that works for the relationship and their own personal beliefs.
 

The_Chameleon

Grandmaster
Having had many roommates in the past, I can tell you even from that that you really don't know someone until you have lived under the same roof with them. People instinctively will try to put their best foot forward and hide their weaknesses, faults, and idiosyncrasies when dating, even if they've been dating for quite a while and many of those things have come out to some degree. Marriage means you need to know all of that stuff, including the magnitude of the less favorable traits or habits, and being okay with all of it on a "til death do us part" basis. You can't really appreciate those aspects of a person until you've spent quite a fair amount of time cohabitating with them. Remember that half of marriages fail, so whatever you can do to better your odds is definitely worth considering.



- Cham
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
Living together is a good way to get to know someone better. However its no guarantee you will. Some people can be good at hiding who they really are. How often does someone do something crazy and the people that were close to them had no idea they were that way.
 

Unity

Living in Ikoria
Staff member
I'd like to live together with a girlfriend before considering marriage...I think that these days it's a great way to get to know someone on a deeper level. It would drive my parents nuts I'm sure, but I think it's just the way things work now.
 

Merc

Problematic Shitlord
V.I.P.
So, in your opinion, do you believe that it's better if you live with the person you're engaged to before getting married? Meaning, that it's a real good way to know more about this person if you live in the same household for a few months before the big day?

Thoughts?
In my opinion, this isn't debatable. If you do not live with your partner before marriage, you are leaving a very large opening for problems down the road. Sure, you like the same movies or enjoy similar activities, but what about the way they fold clothes? Do the dishes? Organize their clothes? Electronics? Decorate? All of these are small, but when combined, it's an incredibly important part of determining your compatibility.

I would bet many marriages that have ended in divorce have had this to blame.
 
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