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Living Alone

Zenheizer

needs practice
Hey. I just wanted to share something, and see what others have to say about this situation I'm kind of in.

My girlfriend moved here for her job in Chicago. She lives in an efficiency and commutes to work. She lives in a nice, safe neighborhood called Lincoln Park and I visit her on weekends when I can or she comes to my house in the nearby suburbs.

But I've realized she is very lonely. She has almost no friends to just socialize with. She originates from Ann Arbor, went to school at University of Indiana and moved here for her job. In college you know you have classes, peers and clubs to fuel any social relationships and circles to get involved. She feels like work is work, and everyone goes home to their own lives after. Most coworkers are around 10 years her senior. And she doesn't have many friends in Chicago because she just moved here and so most of her weekly social interaction is with me.

Now I don't mind this, but I know its healthy to have other outlets of socialization. She moved to a big city, doesn't know anyone and so has clung onto her boyfriend (me) whom she visits every weekend. I want to help her, but I can't tell her to just be more outgoing and make friends at the coffee shop.

Have any of you moved to the bright lights and lived alone to start off? Stories welcomed!
 

Ilus_Unistus

Registered Member
Very recently, I have moved to a small flat to live on my own for the first time in my life. It is in a city I grow up in, Pärnu, so it is not so strange to me, but is in section I have never visited, until I moved where I am.

It has been just over 1 month now and the only thing close to speaking to anyone here has been in passing on the stairs. I do still attend school and work a job, so I have a few social friends there, but when I come home, it really is a lonely place. I pass the time here, at GF, Youtube or maybe FB some. I listen to music much of the time through the internet and this is pretty much my home life... exciting, yes?

I think I can maybe understand how your girlfriend may feel to be able to see and spend time with you on weekends. There is times I wish I had some other place to be or go than to be here alone.

I am not sure of any advise I can offer, but like me, I think it is up to her if she wishes to have increased social life, for me, I am to a point I just do not want a real social life right now, even tho sometimes I do feel so alone.
 

shelgarr

Registered Member
I think that while she has you she'll have less incentive to find friends of her own. After some time passes she probably will though. Most couples pass through periods that they bore each other and will then go out and find other people that share interests. So I guess you need to be more boring. LOL. There are a few female-dominated areas that you might encourage her toward. Like book clubs, or volunteering.
 
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