• Welcome to the PopMalt Forums! Whether you're new to forums or a veteran, welcome to our humble home on the web! We're a 20-year old forum community with thousands of discussions on entertainment, lifestyle, leisure, and more.

    Our rules are simple. Be nice and don't spam. Registration is free, so what are you waiting for? Join today!.

Living alone for the first time

Ilus_Unistus

Registered Member
I wish to know, when and if you have ever lived alone for the first time? What feelings this brought to you? What were the conditions of this place you lived in? How do you handle things? Anything to this nature...

For me, it is only day 4, and the feelings I have are of isolation. My flat is not the best place to live in Parnu, it may even be the worst, but is the only thing I can pay for.

The people who live around and near me are those who are like parasites, there is many people who do nothing but to walk around outside drinking and shouting loudly rude things to people passing. I have fear of unlocking my door at night, not even to mention to go outside my door. I had 4 days of laundry stolen only today from the buildings laundry room that I used for the first time today.

I have never been one to think one person is better than another, but after only 4 days here, I do not belong in the class of people I am living in.

I sit now alone on the only piece of furniture I own, a bed, and I wish for someone to talk to, about anything. For me, living alone is not something I like at all and I am not having so much luck adjusting to it.
 

Dabs

Registered Member
I am so sorry Ilus, I wish there were something I could say to help. This may sound really odd, but I never lived alone till I was over 40 years old.
I got married young, age 15, had children, divorced, got married again, so I was always a daughter, a wife, a Mother, and it wasn't until my last divorce in 1997, that I was sort of alone.
I had my youngest 2 children still at home, but then after they moved out and went to college, I was alone then. Then I was in a couple of relationships with gents, and so, I wasn't alone then, but now, even with my granddaughter, I am pretty much living alone.
I like it, I don't have to answer to anyone, I come and go as I please. But I honestly can't say I know how you're feeling as I was never in your spot.
I am so sorry about your laundry being stolen, I hope maybe you can save?, and hopefully get a better place in a better area?
You are so young still, so I imagine it is a scary experience. I really wish you the best of luck. But I think after you get used to a place you like, you will enjoy being on your own, I hope so anyway :)
 

Crouton

Ninja
V.I.P.
I've personally never lived alone, two other people live in my house but they are often not here for long periods at a time so I sometimes feel like I am living alone. I go almost all day every day alone and every now and then I'll spend the whole weekend, or even a week or two here by myself. I actually don't mind it, I quite enjoy just my own company and having the whole house to myself to do what I want. I sometimes dislike it at night time though.... whenever the sun goes down every single little sound I hear at night is suddenly something coming to kill me.
 

redroses

Registered Member
my first flat is the one im in now, at first i lived there with my now ex boyfriend, so at that time i was really happy and excited! now though i hate it the area i live in is terrible, honestly im quite scared of it, place is full of junkies, my windows have been smashed twice by strangers, once when me and my ex were living together he went to the shops near us to get some drink for the weekend, someone had been in the entrance and followed him into our flat and tried to strangle him and take our drink, he has too push the guy off of him and out of our home, luckily the guy was soo out his face it was easy to do! ive had people shouting outside my window for someone who dosent live there and when i try telling them its the wrong house i get threats. so my feeling living alone mostly are fear at the moment, im not in the position to move atm and so i normally stay at my mum n dads just now. it could be a really nice area, its not all bad sometimes it ok, but weekends are terrible being so close to a pub dosent help either
 

Dabs

Registered Member
my first flat is the one im in now, at first i lived there with my now ex boyfriend, so at that time i was really happy and excited! now though i hate it the area i live in is terrible, honestly im quite scared of it, place is full of junkies, my windows have been smashed twice by strangers, once when me and my ex were living together he went to the shops near us to get some drink for the weekend, someone had been in the entrance and followed him into our flat and tried to strangle him and take our drink, he has too push the guy off of him and out of our home, luckily the guy was soo out his face it was easy to do! ive had people shouting outside my window for someone who dosent live there and when i try telling them its the wrong house i get threats. so my feeling living alone mostly are fear at the moment, im not in the position to move atm and so i normally stay at my mum n dads just now. it could be a really nice area, its not all bad sometimes it ok, but weekends are terrible being so close to a pub dosent help either

Jesus H, I couldn't imagine having to live in areas such as this. That must be difficult to deal with, and I would be scared too. I feel fortunate that I live in a relatively crime-free area, not much goes on here. Nothing at all like some of you have posted. I hope things gets better for you too redroses.
 

shelgarr

Registered Member
I'm sorry to read that this transistion is not going well. It is a huge adjustment for sure. Music, tv, might help some. Or a pet? Can you have one? You may need to consider other alternatives. Remember nothing has to be permanent. It's probably important that you be closer to family during this time. Maybe you can pick up a hobby....like learning to paint or play an instrument. Those activities bring a brightness to life and home.

I did live alone from Feb through Dec back when I was age 22. It was rough. I remember how I would come home from class or from work and everything was still the same. Just as I left it. That was always was eerie to me. I moved alone because at the time I was getting out a house of roommates and did not have any arrangement to live with someone. The apartment was adorable but really hard to heat. It was the converted basement of a 100+ years beautiful stone house built on a slanted lot so I actually had my own entrance. There were some really classic features in it. I was a very busy full time worker and full time college student so I wasn't home that much. But I hated my job, and my classes were hard, the winter was harsh, I was depressed from a broken relationship, I was drinking and doing drugs, and just bascially very unhappy. I started to have some panic attacks, and pretty much became very unstable. So while parts of it I was so lucky and even had things to be proud of, I ache just remembering back to it. The clincher was two part: 1- my ex'es girlfriend died in a car wreck and he came to me for comfort and 2- I hit and killed a deer. It was way too much for me to manage and I decided on Oct 31 that I was going to move to be closer to family. I dropped out of college, quit my job, and was gone about 45 days later, on Dec 18.

 

idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
Sounds like you have it really rough, Ilus. I am sorry to hear that. It's unfortunate that you would need to endure such living arrangements. But hang in there. You're going to come out a stronger person for it, I can guarantee it. You're learning to cope with the difficulties of life at a young age and this will only make you more independent, which is a good thing.

I've been in and out of my parents home so many times, but the first time I lived alone (not counting varsity days) I absolutely loved it. I still love living alone. I am more of a loner type person and would rather be able to invite friends over when I am lonely, than have someone live there all the time and me not get my alone time when I want/need it. But I've never experienced anything like you are now.

Hang in there Ilus. You're a strong girl and you will get through this. I know you will.
 

Kibi

Babeasaurus Sex
I moved out at 16 and fended for myself from then on. Badly for the most part but hey I'm alive. :)

I'm very lucky, I never had to compromise my living standards because I got paid well and if not I carried three jobs to ensure I COULD live in a nice place with things I wanted.

It will get easier. Work hard and stay positive chick.
 

Millz

Better Call Saul
Staff member
V.I.P.
Good luck with your living arrangement, Katrina. Hopefully you can get something better in the next little while.

I bought a house in October and that's the first time I've lived alone. I've always had a roommate while at college or whatever. I actually like it. I'm not the kinda guy who gets lonely that much so it actually works the best for me. And my neighborhood is quiet and awesome. I really enjoy it.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
I lived on my own for a few months before my boyfriend moved in with me. It was horrible going from living with my parents to being alone.
Our first flat was in a rough part of town so it made it even worse for me. I never went out alone at night, not even to put something in the bin.
 
Top