Life: "Fitting in"

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by RJ-Cool, Jun 14, 2010.

  1. RJ-Cool

    RJ-Cool "Expect the unexpected"

    Whether it's at home , school, work, social interactions.....etc., most of us if not all have been faced with the challenge of 'fitting in'.......
    I remember participating in a management training course and being faced with this issue. Some people were arrogant and really didn't know much, some people were ignorant while others had a clear perception of the subject matter. I didn't know s*** so, suffice to say, I was considered a sure 'fit' among the ignorant.
    Anyway, 'cut long story short'...this wasn't where I wanted to be so, despite being jeered, along with other opposing factors, I persevered and became one of the top students in the class; I had to fight to 'fit in' the best of the class.
    Can you relate?
    Have you ever encountered a problem(s) fitting in? If "yes", What happened?

  2. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    I have no issues with being flexible so it's easy for me to "fit". However, there are things I wouldn't do just to fit. I remember joining a choral group before. They're mostly born again Christians. I myself am a Christian, but not the type who got baptised as adult by accepting JC as personal saviour. I'm raised Roman Catholic. Anyway, the choir wasn't even singing in churches. It's a semi-professional choir and I meet the vocal requirements for it. I've been enjoying the rehearsals until I've heard some comment that maybe my background won't make me feel out of place. They didn't know that what made me feel out of place is that they even have to consider that my religious background is a hindrance for singing. I felt the pressure to be one of them and stop attending my Catholic services. I'm not even super religious but I refuse to transform into what they want me to be just so I can "fit" in. I quit the group.
  3. RJ-Cool

    RJ-Cool "Expect the unexpected"

    Good for you Ysabel! You didn't bow to the pressure of fitting in based on their expectations. It just goes to show that 'fitting in' is not necessarily a good thing, especially when certain principles involved run the risk of being compromised.
  4. stevenfermi

    stevenfermi Registered Member

    Always some kind of issue fitting in. However, instead of actually trying to fit in, I just do whatever I want, and if it works, so be it.
  5. Boredie

    Boredie In need of Entertainment

    I personally feel that I don't fit in to any number of groups for different reasons, I do try though, but maybe not enough, or maybe I come across as someone that is not to the group's liking. :dunno:
  6. BigBob

    BigBob Registered Member

    I never really felt the pressure of fitting in, or I guess you can say I never fell into the pressure. Middle School turned into a big "You're white, you hang out with the white people. You're black, you hang out with the black people. You're mexican, etc". That wasn't me. I fit in with everyone and it was never a problem. I was always a peace keeper, trying to get everyone to just look past color and move on.

    High School now was a big thing. Playing football, you're expected to hang out with the football players and do whatever the Coaches tell you. Now, my best friend was the biggest pot head in school. He got expelled in middle school for having a large ammount of the tree in his locker. Now, I didn't do that.. but in High School, me and him were best friends because we both moved to the same school that year and didn't know anyone so we just became friends. My Senior year, our Princpal and Assistant Principal (Head Coach and Assistant Coach respectfully for Football) advised me that I needed new friends because the ones I had now were a bad influence. My response was "there is no problem with any of my friends". They just disliked the fact that he was an outcast of sorts and didn't want me hanging around him.

    So, I never tried fitting in.. never needed to. I just kind of fell in with everyone and everyone loved me for me. Wasn't going to change that for anyone.
  7. Vidic15

    Vidic15 No Custom Title Exists V.I.P. Lifetime

    Like Bob, I never felt the pressure either, I just simply didn't wanna fit, being 16 now, I still don't want to fit in because I like being my own person, I realized a long time ago that people respect me for being who I really am, rather than some fake person who would go to extreme lengths to impress someone.
  8. storm_ina_C_cup

    storm_ina_C_cup Registered Member

    I consider myself quite flexible, will be sociable when I need to, etc. though if I don't want to be a part of something (like a social group) I won't go out of my way to "fit in"; even in high school / college I liked who I liked whether they were part of the "in" crowd or not and for some reason I gained alot of respect from people for being that way.
    ...I like to do my own thing, be my own person, etc. that's all so to answer your question, no, I don't feel any pressure to fit in.
  9. JessEpiphany

    JessEpiphany Registered Member

    It has been years since I've felt the pressure to "fit in" anywhere.
  10. theotherone

    theotherone Registered Member

    My advice is to just be comfortable in your own skin. If you're going to try and be a better person (which we should all be doing), do it for yourself - not to fit into any particular group.

    Being comfortable with yourself and embracing the things that makes you different and getting to know yourself will allow you to fit in places that you'd be surprised you could. Part of that is getting involved in the types of things that interest you, and therefore give you a baseline of commonality with the people around you.

    That said, if you know you have serious problems with aggression, etc, and it's not just you feeling like an outcast because of your quirky sense of humor or odd style of dress (just examples, of course I have no idea what your situation is ;)), then you would do yourself a favor to try and figure out what your real issues are so that you can move on with life and not push people away when you try to make friends. The best way to learn good social skills is by putting yourself out there, and then being honest with yourself about the things you need to work on.

    Sincerity goes a long way.

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