Life After Divorce

[ILuvChuzzles31]

Has anyone been married at least once and then divorced?
If you're not already do you believe that you will be interested in anymore relationships?
How long would you wait before giving it another try?
Would or should there be any guidelines that you would give yourself to follow?

 

[ReasontoBelieve]

I have not been married before. But I was engaged both in 98 and also now. Back in 98 I was with a woman named Lynn. She once had a daughter that died in her sleep. Currently her son Daniel was living with her as the father had passed away just 8 months before I got into the picture.
She was having a number of family issues that was making her very depressed. For in which her son also left home to stay with her son in law. Lynn fell apart after that happened losing her son. . plus our neighbor Tabitha called the police on us for little stuff like taking shopping carts back home. . for all and many minor issues we were then evicted. Big deal. We also brought these carts back when we went back to Vons. Her dog also bit our cat and she Tabitha did not want to do anything about it. But what do you expect from such a person being drunk all day waiting for her rich doctor husband to take care of her?. .
She was supposed to go get more medication she needed for some off balance emotions. I think I should have made sure she got more of this cause she had not been on this over a month. And she tried to quit smoking cold turkey. She was yelling at me one night to come to bed. I told her I would I am just finishing up this program. She really did seem out of it.
The next morning I had awoke. Her bible was on the bed facing downward. The cereal bowls she normally set up was not there. I looked all over and then I called police. I told them she is always around me at all times. . so I made an early missing reports. Apparently she tried to have her soon come for a visit. Her son in law was refusing at least at this time to allow him to come over that weekend. . I guess she was also trying to get help from her mother. . her family at the time was not listening. I guess I did not know Lynn long enough to know how all serious these things were to her. We only had been together over one year and something. .
3 days later the detective called me to tell me she jumped onto the freeway. I was really hurt of course. And she should have not chosen to do this. I told her not to worry about these bills you had. I will set up a plan we can make this into payments. . I had no control of her bills before this all had occurred. Plus her used van broke down as the car salesmen ripped her off. . I can’t believe that dealer would sell a van in that bad condition..
I mean she lost her son, her van, her residence and not having her medicine. Lynn was feeling that everyone hated her now. . it was not the case. I talked to her family. And now her mother wished she would have given Lynn more time to talk to her during those moments. . I guess the family was kind of annoyed with Lynn but did not realize things would end up this way. . but they are not surprised either. .
They said to me I don’t know the full story. I showed up late in this picture some things I just don't know about Lynn and her behavior. The only thing Lynn had to do was give things more time to adjust. We would have been ok if she would let me work on these bills and getting her more acquainted with the area I guess she really needed this medicine more than I had though. This is of course as bad as being through a divorce. I lost her and she was in this world all the life that was meaningful to me.. Wherever I went I always had remembered us being together. . its why I did not have to go to the cemetery. Why remember her in the place we never shared time? Her spirit was with me any place we had went which was practically everywhere. . outside of who I am with now Lynn was the woman I had loved most .

 

[CaptainObvious]

I've been married once and divorced. I'm not one to linger onto things though and have bounced back pretty quickly. I still say my blessings outnumber my problems. I'm actually dating my high school sweetheart but I'm taking things slow, I just came out of a long relationship, and I enjoy the new found freedom, and I look forward to the next chapter in my life.

 

[ILuvChuzzles31]

Sorry RTB but losing someone is not the same as being through a divorce..

When going through a divorce there were many arguments, disagreements and probably not saying it as fact a lot of one sideness in the relationship.
In your case you said that she was always with you and the mental depression she had was what made her commit suicide.
It doesn't sound like to me IMO that she did not want to be with you for any reason.
Her personal feelings and family life is what actually kept you from marrying her.

As for myself I was married once also and divorced now.
I met my ex in '86 , got engaged in '91, got married in '93 and divorced in 2005.
You would think after being together for almost a total of 20 yrs you would no that person very well.

My ex turned out to be someone I never knew existed.

As for today yes I am with someone but like CO I will take things very slow and see what happens.

 

[ysabel]

Has anyone been married at least once and then divorced?
If you're not already do you believe that you will be interested in anymore relationships?
How long would you wait before giving it another try?
Would or should there be any guidelines that you would give yourself to follow?

Yes, I'd be interested in relationships again. My marriage died, I didn't die with it. I am in a relationship right now. My divorce took a long time, but I have started dating again once the legal separation was announced. Advice to self is: trust again but take it slow.

I'm also not sure if I'll ever marry again or live in with someone again. Although I do love the idea of a wedding/honeymoon and also not having to alternately sleep in two houses anymore. When you have gotten out of a long serious relationship, the best give you could give yourself (after the fact that you've rid of a bad one in your life), is to discover yourself again and improve yourself. Do things for yourself that you haven't been doing because half or more than half of you has been dedicated to working towards a relationship instead of yourself in the past years. When you've found yourself again, that's the only time it is good to get into a new relationship.