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Bubbles

I ♥ Haters
This one's for you, HIJKayKayKay...

Also, this kinda goes without saying, but if you're offended by crude language and blasphemy then leave now, you pussy. If you work for Canada Post or the RCMP, you can only use this inappropriate chat log for work related purposes... i.e. fapping. If you are DaStevez, go fuck yourself...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi asl
You: 14/f/canada
Stranger: 24/m/indonasia
Stranger: how r u?
You: good
Stranger: i'm horny u?
You: yeah sure
Stranger: ;) u r sexy?
You: sure... why not
Stranger: i love u hehe
You: no you don't!!
Stranger: i really love u
Stranger: u r so sweet
Stranger: u hv facebook?
You: no i'm not allowed to have facebook... my parents don't want me exposing my underage vag online
You: hey! you still there?
You: fine, i'm gonna slit my wrists because you left me. here i go!!
Stranger: oh.....i'm sorry
You: too late, i'm bleeding to death beause of your lies!
Stranger: ok i'm free now
Stranger: let's go to toilet
You: oki have about ten minutes to live before i bleed out, but i think we could get an orgasm off in that time
You: wut? let's go toilet?
Stranger: pls ........suck my dick
Stranger: i'll taste your tits
You: why do we have to be in the toilet for me to suck your dick?
You: is that like your kink?
You: will you suck mine if i suck yours?
Stranger: ok
Stranger: i'll suck u
Stranger: mmmmmmm
Stranger: your very wet
You: thats awesome. i've never had another guy that willing to suck my cock before
You: ok, so i'm sucking your dick now
Stranger: oooouuuuuuuuhhhhhh
You: oh, yeah! now you suck mine!
Stranger: oh....my god
Stranger: you're best
You: really? i'm the best?
Stranger: yeah ;)
You: could you maybe go to generalforum.com and tell that bastard DaStevez that?
You: bitch keeps deleting all my posts
Stranger: your pussy is very wet n hot
Stranger: who's dasteves ......??
You: a sperm receptical
Stranger: im jealous
You: huh?
You: well, ou can be my sperm recepticle if you want... do you want that?
Stranger: yeah
You: awesome!
You: ok, you've been sucking my cock, and I've come down your throat now
You: bend over biatch
Stranger: ok
You: i'm slamming my cock up your tight ass
Stranger: ooooohhhh
Stranger: yeah
You: do you understand the word "cock"?
You: because it doesn't sound like you do
Stranger: you're very .......mmmmmmm
You: mmmm?
Stranger: deliciuous
You: why yes i am... i'm actually considered a delicacy in your country
You: but of course i could have said that i was considred a brautwurst in your country, and it would've all been the same to you
You: anyway you like my cock right?
Stranger: ups.........i don't know what is cocK
You: huh ok...
You: how about the word "dick" then?
Stranger: would u tell me
You: suuuure.... do you understand the word "dick'?
Stranger: yeah i know that
You: well dick is the same as cock
You: do you understand "the same as"?
Stranger: but u r a girl......don't hv dick/cock
You: uh
You: fuck....
Stranger: u only hv a tit
Stranger: and pussy
You: only one?
You: i have a tit?
You: excuse me but ihave two.
Stranger: it's ok
You: well aren't you a prince among men! thank you for accepting my normalcy
Stranger: so.......how many tit do u hv???
You: depends on how fat i am
Stranger: oic
You: no you don't see! you just spit out random english words and hope to form some semblance of an intelligent conversation!!
You: do you understand the word "intelligent"
Stranger: yeah..........it is clever
You: ah good. good for you!
You: ok so you accept me having two tits yes?
Stranger: mmmmmmm........so u hv 2 tits
Stranger: actually ......i never fuck
You: you don't say!
Stranger: still virgin
You: well i just refuse to believe that
You: so youre 24 and a virgin?
Stranger: yaeh
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: y
You: are you ugly? like are you a fug beast?
You: do you know thewords "fug beast"?
Stranger: because i don't hv a partner
Stranger: would u be my partner?????
You: sure
Stranger: tks
You: i'll be your partner..... we'll hit the streets and clean up crime
Stranger: no..........., i mean partner sex
You: ohhhhhh
You: yeah sure
Stranger: kewl
You: that sounds better anyway..... i don't like guns
You: wait did you just say kewl?
You: you are so not indonesian
Stranger: im indonesian original
Stranger: hey........my dick is very big
Stranger: is it suit with your hole
Stranger: ???
You: my hole doesn't wear a suit
You: how big is your dick again?
Stranger: suit=suitable
Stranger: 30 cm
You: wait wut?!
You: lolwut! 30cm? that's like almost a foot long
Stranger: ups sorry....not 30 but 20
You: 20? thats a little under 8 inches.... whatever mine is bigger... is that "suitable"?
Stranger: kewl
You: awesome sauce! can I fuck you up the ass with it now?
Stranger: ok......
Stranger: mmmmm
Stranger: come on
Stranger: lets do it
You: come on you?
You: um ok... i'm pumping my cock in and out of your ass and just before I blow my wad, I pull out and blow my wad all over your ass. like that?
Stranger: i mean.......let u fuck me
You: yes that is what i'm doing
You: i am currently fucking your asshole with a fervor known only to fanatic religious zealots and republicans
Stranger: yeah...i like it
You: uh huh i bet you do
Stranger: ok....
Stranger: mmmmmm
Stranger: very sweet
You: so you have no problem sucking my cock?
Stranger: nope
You: are you gay?
Stranger: nope
You: how about bi? are you bisexual?
Stranger: nope
You: did your father hit you a lot when you were little? how about your uncle? did your uncle touch you?
Stranger: nope
You: i have no response to any of this :/
Stranger: i want to try
You: you want to try me fucking you up the ass?
You: hold on!
You: let's stop for a second and try this again - you know that thing between your legs that you pee out of?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: nope
You: wut?
Stranger: let me know
You: you don't know that thing between your legs?
You: do you ever masturbate?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: of course
You: ok so you know that thing you masturbate with?
Stranger: dick???
You: YES!
You: alright so now I'm using my D-I-C-K........
You: ....to fuck you up the ass and you're ok with that?
Stranger: but u r girl
You: -_-
You: ok so how is it that i've been fucking you up the ass and you've been enjoying it this whole time?
Stranger: nope
You: yes! you have been enjoying it!
Stranger: nope
You: so you want to fuck me or what?
Stranger: yeaaaaaaaaahhhhh
You: can i fuck you?
Stranger: yeah
You: great! bend over
Stranger: ok
You: now spread your ass cheeks
Stranger: what is that phrase mean
You: ass cheeks? y'know where you poop out of?
Stranger: u'll fuck my ass again??
You: you just said i could fuck you like 20 seconds ago
Stranger: i think .......ur hole will pump my dick
You: if i spoke idiot, would that help?
Stranger: ok......actually......i don't like if u fuck me ....i like if i fuck u........
Stranger: do u like mastur bate????
You: yeah, i stroke my brautwurst all the time
Stranger: u're boy??????????
You: uh no
Stranger: whats mean of dick?????
You: like cock or pussy.... its all the same
Stranger: i'm still confuse
Stranger: ooooooo
You: yeah i bet you're confused
Stranger: now i understand
Stranger: so....let me know how do u mastur bate??
You: alright good.... so can i fuck you up the ass with my dick now?
Stranger: ok
You: i usually stroke my meaty parts until it's hard, then i squeeze my balls, then i blow my wad all over the place.... usually my keyboard
You: it's so stickky and crusty some of the keys don't work anymore
You: so i'm fucking you up the ass with my DICK now, you see?
You: you know the word 'dick', right? remember we went over that?
Stranger: mmmmmmm it looks nice
You: oh wow thanks. i like my dick too
You: when i was an alter boy it bought all the preists to the yard
Stranger: ok.....
Stranger: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Stranger: mmmuaahh
You: muah? are you a cow?
Stranger: nope
You: huh ok then.... good to know
Stranger: your dick is very wet.......
You: yeah you should see it in real time... it's like a waterfall
You: let's do something sexy
Stranger: ok......
You: gouge out your eye with a fork and stick my dick in your eye socket
You: thats what we call skull fucking
Stranger: yeah
You: did you put my dick on your eye? really?
Stranger: oohhhhhh yr dick......release a juice
Stranger: mmmmmmmm......very sweet
Stranger: r u orgasm
You: ok i am so being trolled here....
You: kay is that you?
You: yes i am a huge orgasm
Stranger: may i fuck u now
You: i guess so since i'm done violating your buster brown eye with my DICK
Stranger: mmmmmm ur're right
You: of course.... i'm always right
You: thats why i was captain of the debate team in high school
Stranger: ouhhhhhh
You: i'm always right. especially after i violate ANOTHER MAN with my DICK
You: *sigh*
Stranger: hey....... r u enjoy it
Stranger: i'm still pump now
You: not really. i'm suffering
You: i'm not getting the reaction i'm looking for....
Stranger: ok......i am lying down now....
You: me too... i've been lying this entire time
Stranger: ure over
You: alrighty then..... whatever the fuck that means
You: also, i'm a man
Stranger: lol
You: i'm over and a man
Stranger: so....u're man
You: uh no
Stranger: whats that mean?
You: what's what mean?
Stranger: 'also i'm a man'.......what it mean?
You: um... it doesn't mean anything. it's another way of saying "let's start fucking now"
Stranger: oh i see
You: ok so - also i'm a man
Stranger: mmmmm.........i coming now.....
You: me, too! i'm a man with a huge cock !
Stranger: where do i put my juice on............
You: on the counter, spaz. you can refrigerate it later
You: i'm a man!
Stranger: OK..................I'M COMING NOW
Stranger: OUHHHHHHHHHH
You: oh, my god, i'm a man!
You: i am the biggest, hairiest man!
You: and what a man i am!
You: with greens eggs and ham!
Stranger: OUHHHHHHH
Stranger: I STILL ALOT OF JUICE
Stranger: OOOOUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH
Stranger: YEAAAAAAAAHHHH
You: geez, you've been coming for like five minutes now...
Stranger: YOU'RE THE BEST
You: that's a lot of sperm stored up for 24 years.....
Stranger: YEAH
You: i wonder how much sperm i'd shoot if i orgasm'd right now
You: i haven't had an orgasm in like 52 years
Stranger: WOW
You: inorite? that'd be a lot of sperm
Stranger: YEAH ......
You: i could probably drown you in it
You: because im' a man
Stranger: HMMMMMM........U MAKE ME CONFUSE AGAIN
You: you don't say?
Stranger: R U A REAL MAN????
You: um yeah. i've been saying that for like twenty minutes now
You: where have you been?
Stranger: WHY U SAID ME THAT YOU'RE GIRL BEFORE?
You: same reason i told you i'm a man
Stranger: DO U WANT FEEL LIKE A GIRL
You: alright y'know how "also i'm a man" means "let's start fucking now?"
You: i'm trying to explain this to you
Stranger: R U GAY???
You: no i assure you i am as straight as george michael
You: do you understand that "also i'm a man" means "let's start fucking now"?
Stranger: OK........MAKE ANOTHER PHRASE
You: um whem someone says "i'm a 14 year old girl who likes to have sex with older men" it means "i'm a guy"
You: english.... what a weird language, amirite?
Stranger: OIC
Stranger: I UNDER STAND NOW
Stranger: SO U R A GUY
Stranger: BYE
You: no!
You: i'm a little girl
Stranger: HUH....
You: i'm a girl...
You: ...who likes to have sex with older men
Stranger: SURE???
You: yeah for sure
You: so to recap - i have a cock and i'm a 14 year old girl who likes to have sex with old men
Stranger: OK I BELIEVE U
You: i have no idea why you would
Stranger: OK LET ME KNOW HOW U MASTURBATE
Stranger: BECAUSE I LIKE SEE GIRL MASTURBATE
You: i already told you when i masturbate i usually sit in front of my computer pull up a good porn site featuring the most disgusting, bareback, ball slapping interracial porno i can find. then i stroke my meaty parts until i blow a chunk all over the screen.
Stranger: N THEN
You: huh? "n then?"
Stranger: AND THEN
You: oh.... well then i run to the bathroom with my underwear around my ankles normally tripping and smashing my FACE into the bathroom wall or the toilet and blow all my sperm all over the floor and/or the wall. my balls ache real bad afterward and the cleanup is a pain... but yeah that's how i do it
Stranger: TKS
Stranger: U'RE BOY
You: i try to blow my sperm into the toilet so i can just flush it, but i never hit my target
You: my aim is terrible
You: and no i'm not
You: i'm a man
You: wait what....
Stranger: OK
You: no i'm a little girl who likes sex with older men...
You: remember what that phrase means?
Stranger: YEAH
You: what does it mean then
Stranger: U R A MAN
You: oh shit... i didn't expect you to remember that :/
Stranger: TKS FR YOUR REAL INFO
You: yeah no problem... also, i'm a man
You: remember what that means?
Stranger: SO DO U HV ANY GIRL WHO LIKE CYBER
You: i am a girl who likes to cyber
You: but i do keep a couple in my closet
Stranger: WHATS THAT MEAN?
You: what?
Stranger: A COUPLE IN MY CLOSET
You: um it means "i'm a guy" but only if it's right after "and i keep"
You: otherwise it means "blow me, sexy"
You: hey
You: are you there?
Stranger: I'VE TO WORK NOW
Stranger: SEE U LATER
Stranger: BY
You: but i'm a little girl who likes sex with older men!
You: remember what that means?
You: hellooooooooooo?
Stranger: YEAH
You: so blow me?
Stranger: i don't know what that mean
You: suck my dick?
Stranger: SUCK YR TITS I WANT
You: no, yoda! you have to suck my dick
You: ok?
You: remember how i told you that dick was like cock and pussy? and they were all the same?
Stranger: IF I'LL TELL WHAT THE TRUTH WOULD U PROMISE NOT PROMISE NOT TO CRY
You: i not promise not to cry
You: i think...
Stranger: I'M LESBI
You: rotflmao! of course you are
Stranger: 42 YEARS OLD
You: goddamn it, kayliegh you're fucking up this chat!
Stranger: HA.....HA....HA....
You: every pedophile who gets caught is a lesbian
You: -_-
You: so..... i'm a little girl who likes to have sex with older men. also I'm a man!
Stranger: I 'M A OLD WOMAN WHO LIKE BE A YOUNG MAN
You: no you're not
You: SAY IT ISN'T SO!
You: come up with an original excuse for picking up 14 year old girls on the web
Stranger: YEAH.....IT'S RIGHT......I'M A MOTHER WHO HAVE A DAUGHTER
You: yes, and i'm the pope. you just had cybersex with the fucking pope! how do you feel, you sinner?!
Stranger: I CAN'T FEEL
You: you can't?
You: ok so i'll be honest...
You: i'm really a 52 year old dominatrix... can i put a ball gag in your mouth?
Stranger: MMMMMM
You: mmmm? are you gonna disconnnect me anytime soon or whagt?
Stranger: NOPE
You: that was a rhetorical question
You: meaning, it didn't require an answer
Stranger: YES .......I MEAN
You: yes what? god, you're an idiot...
Stranger: OK
Stranger: NO....I MEAN
You: first, you pick up 14 year olds on the web then you pretend to be a lesbian when you get caught and now you're just spouting verbal diarrhea
Stranger: YEAH I'M IDIOT
You: really? i'm shocked!
Stranger: I'M A KILLER!
You: lmfao! you are? really? are you going to kill me?
Stranger: YEAH
You: well, you should've killed me during the sex. that would've been so much more satisfying
Stranger: I'M IN PRISON NOW
Stranger: LIBRARY PRISON
You: a library prison?
Stranger: YEAH
You: in Jakarta?
Stranger: I KILLED TWO LITTLE GIRL
Stranger: MY DAUGHTER
You: so let's recap - you're a 40 year old lesbian with a daughter serving time in a "library prison" for killing two little girls?
Stranger: YEAH
You: well at least it's original....
Stranger: ACTUALLY I HV 3 DAUGHTER
Stranger: I KILLED 2
You: yes and i'm still the pope
You: what about the third daughter? why didn't you kill her?
Stranger: WHO CARE
You: you're getting boring and i'm super tired... say something funny so i can disconnect you
Stranger: BECAUSE........I 'LL SUCK HER TITS
You: eh, good enough

You have disconnected.

Please stay tuned for more intellectual logs... I need a shot of bourbon and some goddamn aspirin.
 

Crypticshock

Registered Member
I could not read it all... about 60% of it, but I was laughing my ass off at trying to explain "I'm a man"...

I'm 30cm... HAHAHA. Who the hell uses cm when describing their schlong length?
 

Iris

rainbow 11!
You: oh, my god, i'm a man!
You: i am the biggest, hairiest man!
You: and what a man i am!
You: with greens eggs and ham!

lmao that was brilliant
 
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