Let's get this party started...



Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil
before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave an odor, I
washed my hair several times.

That night when I went to bed, I leaned over to my husband and
asked, "Do I smell like olive oil?"

"No," he said, sniffing me. "Do I smell like Popeye?"


LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your

LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your

MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score.


John was in a bar looking very dejected. His friend, Steve,
walked over and asked, "What's wrong?"

"It's my mother-in-law," John replied, while shaking his head
sadly. "I have a real problem with her."

"Cheer up," Steve said. "Everyone has problems with their

"Maybe," John answered. "But I got mine pregnant."