LDRs - keeping the spark alive

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by ColonelHansLanda, Jun 5, 2010.

  1. ColonelHansLanda

    ColonelHansLanda Registered Member

    Hey guys,

    I'm in a very new relationship with a man two and half thousand miles away. Different languages, different cultures - neither of which have proved a problem so far. All happy happy happy. Howeverrrr...how in the hell do we keep the feeling this strong? He phones me nearly every night and we talk on MSN/Facebook when we can but his working hours make contact nigh on impossible until about midnight (at the earliest). I'd like to kick up some new topics with him so we can get to know each other better - there's just seems like no time to do it. I really, really don't want him to lose interest :(

    Does anybody have any ideas? Or any GFers been in a similar situation?

    Thanks in advance!

    Colonel x

  2. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    Oh I have been in LDRs and I have tons of tips haha.

    How's the time difference? How technologically equipped are both of you? Do you have plans to see each other soon or just seeing how this will go? How cheesy are you? (yep, that matters, haha)
  3. ColonelHansLanda

    ColonelHansLanda Registered Member

    Yay, tips. Tips are good! ^^

    He's two hours in front, which thankfully isn't all that bad. We both have net access, only his is limited because of his work. He was also telling me last night that he plans on getting a mobile within the next couple of days, so that he can text me during the daytime. I'm flying back out there on 27th August and staying for 10 days but I'm just so worried that the wait will be too long for him. His line of work involves him being surrounded by girls and I'm desperate (yes, desperate!) to keep all of his attention.

    Apparently I can be pretty cheesy - he outcheeses me though! Cheese is good but I don't want to overdo it given how new the relationship actually is.
  4. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    Ok, two hours is definitely not bad. Mine were like "am here, pm there" type of distance :lol:.

    Both quantity and quality of communication is important because really, that's what's keeping you together the most right now. The instant messengers are heaven sent. They're cheaper than sending international texts. There's also voice call (cheaper than phone calls). And webcam chat!

    I guess you have to find a way to adjust your schedules or compromise.

    There are programs that allow you to even send txts via computer (goes to your mobile phone). And depending on how fancy your mobile phone is, you can save on phone calls/txts). If both of you have blackberry, for example, you can use BBM and it's free. Or your provider may allow downloading skype so you can talk to each other on the mobile for free.

    As for topics, play the 20 questions game. You think of 10 Qs for him, he thinks of 10 Qs for you. You send your Qs at the same time and agree to send the As at the same time. next time you chat, you can chat about your answers. That's a lot of topic to cover already, haha. Plus there's this also the nice topic of what you're gonna do the next time you see each other (planning for your end of August trip). That's always exciting...

    hmm, I can think of more but I gotta go now...
  5. ColonelHansLanda

    ColonelHansLanda Registered Member

    Thanks for that, ysabel :) I only wish he had time to try something like that. At the moment they're at their busiest though and he's working 10am-3am so to be honest I feel honoured to even get a call before he crashes out. Perhaps getting to know each other better is too much to ask at this moment in time.
  6. storm_ina_C_cup

    storm_ina_C_cup Registered Member

    My husband and I had an overseas LDR; he was from / living in England and I was from / living in the US and there was a 5 hr. time difference between us; mind you, we both worked full time jobs M - F so by the time I got home from work (between 5 pm and 6 pm) it would already be around 10 - 11 pm, his time, so yes, it was difficult from time to time but we made it work because we both wanted to.

    Like any normal relationship, it takes two to make an effort, so don't feel it's all on you to keep the spark alive.

    This is what we did while living apart:

    We phoned, texted, IM'ed, emailed, webcamed...(sometimes innocent and other times sexual) and sent each other cards and little "Thinking of You" gifts in the mail while we were apart. It may sound simple but it kept the spark alive and I must say that I walked on Cloud 9 every single day we were apart because I knew how much he loved me and how much I loved him.

    We've been together for 6 years and married 5 next month and I must say even to this day, he still gives me butterflies. <3
    ysabel likes this.
  7. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    I agree very much with what storm said here. Each has to make sacrifices if you have to, to keep that connection going. I've stayed late at night or woke up at dawn for a chance to chat with my partner. But it's definitely not one way. He did the same things despite his busy schedules. You do what you can and have to do...and ideally, it's what both of you WANT to do. :) Goodluck!
  8. storm_ina_C_cup

    storm_ina_C_cup Registered Member

    Are you still with him, ysabel?:)

    How did you meet and how long have you been together?

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