Laff Yer A$$ Off! (thanks Tater)

1_ares_1

Registered Member
#1
here's a lil sumpin' I got from Tater...

Spaghetti
A wealthy man had been having an affair with an Italian woman for
Several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided
in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his
marriage, he
paid her a large sum of money, if she would go to Italy to secretly have
the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also
provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked
how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card and
write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support
payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
"Honey," she said. "You received a very strange post card today."
"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said.
The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white
and fainted.
On the card was written:
"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without." :lol: :lol:

HAHAHA!! Who else has a cool one? I've got a couple more from Tater! too
 

doubles2004

Registered Member
#4
Hahaha i love it .that would be my luck. :lol:

heres on for you.. no offense people
A very genteel Southern Lady was driving across the Savannah River
Bridge
in
Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a
young
man a-fixin to jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the window and
said,
"Please don't jump; think of your dear mother and father." He
replied,
"Mom
and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump." She said, "Well, think of
your
wife and children." He replied, "I'm not married and I don't have
any
kids." She said, "Well, think of Robert E. Lee." He replied, "Who's
Robert
E. Lee?"
She replied..."Well, just go ahead and jump, you dumb-ass Yankee."
 

helpisontheway

Registered Member
#7
New Simplified Tax Form for 2004 Taxes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. How much money did you make in 2004? $__________
2. Send it to us.
 

doubles2004

Registered Member
#8
helpisontheway said:
New Simplified Tax Form for 2004 Taxes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. How much money did you make in 2004? $__________
2. Send it to us.[/Qoute


Thats the one i get every year :lol:
 

Julie

Registered Member
#10
I put the last of my Pillsbury Doughboy stuff on ebay a while back & put this in my description:

Famous Celebrity Passes Away

It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following news.
Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment
community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy
was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned
out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack,
the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Cap'n
Crunch.

The graveside was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the
eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how
much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his
later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very
'smart' cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky in his youth and a crusty old man, he was
considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough
and Jane Dough; plus the bun they had in the oven. He is also survived
by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for
about 20 minutes.