Laff Yer A$$ Off! (thanks Tater)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by 1_ares_1, May 15, 2005.

  1. 1_ares_1

    1_ares_1 Registered Member

    here's a lil sumpin' I got from Tater...

    A wealthy man had been having an affair with an Italian woman for
    Several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided
    in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his
    marriage, he
    paid her a large sum of money, if she would go to Italy to secretly have
    the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also
    provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked
    how he would know when the baby was born.
    To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card and
    write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support
    payments to begin.
    One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
    "Honey," she said. "You received a very strange post card today."
    "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said.
    The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white
    and fainted.
    On the card was written:
    "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without." :lol: :lol:

    HAHAHA!! Who else has a cool one? I've got a couple more from Tater! too

  2. helpisontheway

    helpisontheway Registered Member

    hehehe... it took me two times to read it to get it... hahaha.. that's cute...
  3. 1_ares_1

    1_ares_1 Registered Member

    well you little blonde you! hahaha! i'll try to type sllooweerr...haha!
  4. doubles2004

    doubles2004 Registered Member

    Hahaha i love it .that would be my luck. :lol:

    heres on for you.. no offense people
    A very genteel Southern Lady was driving across the Savannah River
    Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a
    man a-fixin to jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the window and
    "Please don't jump; think of your dear mother and father." He
    and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump." She said, "Well, think of
    wife and children." He replied, "I'm not married and I don't have
    kids." She said, "Well, think of Robert E. Lee." He replied, "Who's
    E. Lee?"
    She replied..."Well, just go ahead and jump, you dumb-ass Yankee."
  5. helpisontheway

    helpisontheway Registered Member

    i'm not a real blonde!!! hahaha....
  6. momtobrenna

    momtobrenna Registered Member

    I love it!!!!!!!!!!!
  7. helpisontheway

    helpisontheway Registered Member

    New Simplified Tax Form for 2004 Taxes


    1. How much money did you make in 2004? $__________
    2. Send it to us.
  8. doubles2004

    doubles2004 Registered Member

  9. momtobrenna

    momtobrenna Registered Member

    I get that one too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  10. Julie

    Julie Registered Member

    I put the last of my Pillsbury Doughboy stuff on ebay a while back & put this in my description:

    Famous Celebrity Passes Away

    It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following news.
    Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment

    The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
    complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy
    was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned
    out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack,
    the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Cap'n

    The graveside was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the
    eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how
    much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his
    later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very
    'smart' cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
    Despite being a little flaky in his youth and a crusty old man, he was
    considered a roll model for millions.

    Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough
    and Jane Dough; plus the bun they had in the oven. He is also survived
    by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for
    about 20 minutes.

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