Movies Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter

Discussion in 'Movies & TV' started by A.M. Radio, Apr 12, 2006.

  1. A.M. Radio

    A.M. Radio Guest

    The film has been out for a few years now, and STILL, I have to tell people "Yes, this is a a real movie."

    The story focuses on the greatest action hero ever to live, Jesus himself. One will automatically condemn this film as Blasphemous. While I admit it's portrayal of the Lord is not the most accurate, aside from killing demons from hell there is nothing blasphemous about this film.... At least until the closing credits, anyway.

    Jesus Christ is here on earth, just as he left off: Building his father's church. He is contacted by Father Alban and Father Eustice with a most urgent request: Find out why all the lesbians in their parish are dissapearing. The answer should be obvious. The lesbians are being harvested by vampires for their skin. With lesbian skin grafted on them, the vampires can walk in the sun. After all, lesbians are immune to sunlight.

    Of course, when the living dead outnumber the living, even the Messiah needs a little help. Who else but a saint? And not just any Saint. El Santo himself! Yes, Jesus and a Mexican wrestler take on the lesbian-skinned evil.

  2. LMAO I cant believe you posted this movie, I have seen this piece of shit movie, it is complete garbage, if you want a good laugh on how bad a movie is then see this.
  3. A.M. Radio

    A.M. Radio Guest

    Roger Ebert says: You have to rate a movie based on what it is trying to do.

    While I hate Ebert, by his rule this movie is a classic because it's supposed to be bad. Unfortunately, it's also supposed to have decent sound sync, but it doesn't. It's a two and half star crapfest. But it's entertaining if you can get past the garbage sound.

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