I've been made to look like an idiot!!

[sugar_lump]

Me, my partner, my 1 year old baby and his parents were planning on going on a camping trip over a weekend, however I started a new job and couldn't get that weekend off. I broke the bad news to my partner and his parents and thought nothing more of it.
However, the supposed camping trip was this weekend and my partners parents had bought the baby and all in one raincoat and was showing it to me today and I clicked that they wanted to take my baby camping without me.
I told them I didn't want them taking my baby without me because it would be her first holiday and didn't want to miss out.
My partners mother seemed upset by this as she said my partner said that they could take her without us!
This made me look like a right idiot and I don't think my in laws believed that I didn't know anything about it but now I know i've been made to look stupid. To the in laws eyes my partner has done nothing wrong as he is their son and I'm the one in the wrong. They haven't said this but I know that's what they think.
I know it will blow over and they will forget but how do I stop this from happening again?? I've already spoke to my partner about clearing things with me and telling me things but he just doesn't tell me things and in the long run i'm the one that ends up looking like the bitch.
Any advice on this??

 

[Jeanie]

I really don't have any advice. I wouldn't put up with that kind of shit; you've talked to him about it and made it clear how you feel, if I were in that situation and kept making my wishes known and my wishes were ignored, I'd walk. But then, I tend to give up fairly easily as I'm old and jaded.

I'm sorry you have to put up with something like that. i wouldn't want my 1-year-old going on a trip without me, either.

 

[Danno]

Yeah, dont get involved in a relationship it is a waste of time.

Seriously though, let your in-laws know you arent some push over, stand up for yourself, tell you you have been made to look like an idiot and you dont appreciate it.

Dont go in there like a bull at a gate, but dont be soft either. They might not like it, but they will learn to respect it.

 

[Jeanie]

Seriously though, let your in-laws know you arent some push over, stand up for yourself, tell you you have been made to look like an idiot and you dont appreciate it.

Dont go in there like a bull at a gate, but dont be soft either. They might not like it, but they will learn to respect it.

I hope Danno is right. The best you can do is try to make them see your point of view. Hopefully they will.

 

[sugar_lump]

They do see my point of view as they are parents themselves. It's just that they were led to believe that it was ok. And I don't agree with splitting up with someone for a misunderstanding, he said he doesn't remember saying it and he said he wouldn't of said it unless he thought it was ok so maybe his parents misunderstood him at some point I dunno or maybe he did say it but didn't think- he has a habit of forgetting to tell me stuff. I just don't like the fact that out of all this I look like the bad guy because I am actually a reasonable person.

 

[Hissa]

First of all,you should not worry about this so much because all of us go through things like this....
I think you just need to talk to your partner more and more .....until he understands your problem and realize how it makes you feel bad...
~Good Luck~

 

[Bliss]

Your baby is still young and I'm sure it would upset you to be apart. It's perfectly understandable and they should understand that too. You don't want to miss anything your child might do - laughing, smiling, etc. I don't exactly know what age all of that happens but still.

To be honest you shouldn't have to explain anything. If you don't want your child to go then that is the final answer really. There shouldn't be any arguments or disagreements of any kind.

 

[ysabel]

If I understand your post correctly, this baby is yours and not your partner's. You are entitled and I even find it normal to not want your 1yo going on a camping trip without you.

Next, his parents think that their son told them it was fine to go on the camping trip with the baby. Your partner said he hasn't told them that. But has he actually talked to them after to clarify that no such agreement happened?

Lastly, what I understand from your post is that what's making you feel like an idiot is not your decision but the fact that your in-laws are now witnesses to your poor communication with your partner. It was either lie to them and say you were aware their son told them that and you just changed your mind (which makes you a bitch, lol) or admit that you have no idea their son made that decision about your baby without your knowledge (which makes the son the bad guy and parents don't really accept that well about their kids).

Bottomline, I think you need to talk to your partner and set some rules about making decisions, informing each other, etc. He also has to explain to his parents about the misunderstanding. They might believe him or not, and you have no control over that. But it's really best you start improving your communication lines with your partner so you can be more confident next time you have to explain yourself or telling people they're mistaken instead of worrying in the back of your head, "damn, did he forget to tell me about this again".