"It is wonderful to be married!"

[EllyDicious]

....That's what a friend of mine said recently. She's been living with her boyfriend for about 3 years before getting married. They used to share the house, the money and everything they had/have and they keep on doing the same now, even after marriage [of course].

But I wonder...
What's there so wonderful about marriage when they used to live like they were already married? They just signed a few more papers and that's it. Everything is like it used to be.

I could understand if that sentence came from someone who supposedly never lived with her partner before, until getting married...realizing that marriage is actually a wonderful thing (or not). But coming from someone who almost knew what marriage was?
(It'd be the same nonsense if she realized that marriage is not actually a wonderful thing.)

[
p.s. This thread is not about whether marriage is a wonderful thing or not. It's about specific cases when people live like they're married and when they get married, they pretend like they had never tried it before.]

But I may be wrong....

 

[Hissa]

Nice thread,EllyDicious....
I think your friend said that because when she got married she felt more secure than before....
Now, she feels she is truly close to the man she loves....

 

[fractal]

They have sealed their relationship and can have children now.

 

[Hiei]

Marriage is pointless in my opinion. Besides tax breaks and insurance, I can't think of a single good reason to get married.

You can have a reception, you can have the fancy frills type wedding, but I don't see what actually makes marriage anything special. If you love the person that you're with, sharing a last name doesn't change anything. The only thing that changes it, is that you're now LEGALLY bound to that person.
------

They have sealed their relationship and can have children now.

They could have children before they were married, too. The only thing that stopped them was a condom/birth control/abstinence. If they wanted to, they very well could have had a child before they were married.

 

[Doc]

What's there so wonderful about marriage when they used to live like they were already married?

It's a religious/emotional connection meant to symbolize the permanence of the relationship. The marriage is a symbol of their love.

 

[Wade8813]

At a minimum, it could have an emotional significance, due to how much of an emphasis people have put on it for most of human history

 

[Curious_Yellow]

Would you want people staying with you just because they're legally obligated to do so and/or the hassles of going though the legal process of separation are just too high? Oh, that's not what marriage does? It's about love? Well, the people described in the Opening Post could love each other well enough without being married. So, why bring in a third person (the Judge) into your relationship?

I wouldn't. I should know. Been there, done that. Will not relinquish my freedom a second time.

 

[Daemonic]

Marriage is pointless in my opinion. Besides tax breaks and insurance, I can't think of a single good reason to get married.

Good enough reason for me, I would marry someone just for those benefits if I found another person that never planned on ever getting married for love.

 

[timmy86]

It's a symbol I feel of the love you have for your partner. I lived with my wife, married her recently and I must say I think there's this bond that has been further strengthened by marriage.

And we are execting our second child in March

 

[ysabel]

But I wonder...
What's there so wonderful about marriage when they used to live like they were already married? They just signed a few more papers and that's it. Everything is like it used to be.

It just feels different even if you live together before, especially if formalising it with a wedding ceremony is important to both. I think a non-marriage analogy would be when you go on dating. You're always with this person, and in some cases, enjoy some sexual relationship during the dates. But come the time you decide to call each other boyfriend/girlfriend instead of just a date, it can feel differently even if your activities just basically stay the same.