Is this a good idea, or is it just silly?

Discussion in 'Advice Board' started by fragile, Oct 19, 2008.

  1. fragile

    fragile Registered Member


    It's only october, but the christmas cookies, calenders etc are starting to show up in the stores already. That got me thinking, and I want to make a christmas/advent calender to my boyfriend. The only thing is that he's a muslim, so I understand that christmas probably doesn't mean that much to him (although we haven't really discussed it). I'm not a christian or belong to any religion, but I still find christmas as something special to me. And he's been living here since he was a child, so I know that he must have some sort of relationship to christmas because of school activities at least.

    The reason for why I want to make him a calender is not to just give him a candy each day, but little things that I know he needs or reminds him of something that's special to him/us, small things that shows him that I care. But a calender is pretty much a build up to christmas eve, and since he doesn't celebrate it, it would be kind of pointless.
    So, if someone did this for you, would you appreciate the thought of it, or just find the whole thing stupid and rather meaningless?

  2. Merc

    Merc Certified Shitlord V.I.P. Lifetime

    Anything done with that much care and devotion is meaningful.

    Not to mention, if he doesn't see that and instead tells you, "Thanks for offending me with your Christmas banter" and spits on you, he's probably not someone worth fighting for anyways!
  3. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    Since you're making the calendar and not buying the pre-made ones, can you modify it to fit both of what you wanted? For example, still use the daily "gifts" to show you care but the calendar ends on Dec 31 (eve of New Year). At least it would still be a meaningful date for both of you instead of being tied to a religious celebration/event that may not mean anything to him.
    fragile likes this.
  4. fragile

    fragile Registered Member

    :) Nice to hear that coming from a guy. I know that I would get extremely happy if someone did something like that for me, but I'm a girl, so you know... It's hard to know if guys care about stuff like this or not.

    That was a good idea (why didn't I think of that already;). Thank you! I might do that, because that makes more sense in a way.
  5. Wade8813

    Wade8813 Registered Member

    Personally, I'd advocate finding out what sort of things he likes/gets offended by, not just regarding Christmas, but about all sorts of topics.

    Ysabel's idea is a good idea, in that it won't offend anyone, and still shows him you care. But what if he likes Christmas even more than you do? You might be missing out on making it even more special.

    I think it's better to learn more, not just about this one holiday, but about all sorts of things in life.
  6. DLFerguson

    DLFerguson Registered Member

    If he's a Muslim then get him or do something for him Muslim related. That more than anything else will show him how special you think he is and how much you respect his beliefs and how much you think of him.
  7. fragile

    fragile Registered Member

    I know he won't get offended by it. I'm more worried about him not really "getting it", if you know what I mean.

    I thought about that, but I thought about it a little too late. Their big thing that can be an "equivalent" to Christmas might be Ramadan and their celebration of Eid at the end of it. But Ramadan was during September and therefore Eid was on October 1. I don't want to wait a year.
  8. Bliss

    Bliss Sally Twit

    I think it's a nice idea. Maybe you could make it something other than Christmas themed. You could put different pictures behind the windows.. Maybe pictures of you and him?
  9. fragile

    fragile Registered Member

    That's also a good suggestion. Thanks :)

  10. Bananas

    Bananas Endangered Species

    I think you should do it. Your boyfriend has to adapt to your way of life as much as you have to adapt to his. Make it relevant to you and your reasons and not to solely revolve around Christmas, i.e make it inspired by an advent calender but not a countdown to Christmas.

    Having said all that it will very much depend on your boyfriend, his family and his beliefs. Some muslims do celebrate Christmas, after all Jesus is seen as a prophet in Islamic culture. Some see it as an acceptable way to celebrate western culture and allow the children to enjoy the festivities that Christmas brings, others are quite the opposite and see it as a threat to Islam, as a way of diluting down religion and question; why celebrate Jesus when there are a host of other prophets to celebrate, many more important to Islam than Jesus.

    The final arguement is that Christmas has nothing to do with Jesus, it is a pagan festival(Yule & Sol Invictus), the Christains adopted it for themselves. As it has nothing to do with Jesus then it also has nothing to do with Islam either. This could benefit you as you can sell the significance of the calander as having nothing to do with the Christian religion.

    Did you acknowledge Ramadan with your boyfriend? If so then it is only equal for him to share Christmas with you. If you did not take notice or understand his religious participation then would he realy understand yours!
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2008

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