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Is the apology good?

Paula

Registered Member
Sometimes we say that it's good to say "I'm sorry" but.... what can we get with that? Is excusing really a good idea?
Some people think that it's bad because the person who make wrong things doesn't be punished and so he/she will think that all she or he had made is not wrong.
In the other side, there are people who think that to excuse a person is like giving him or her another oportunity to act in the right way.
What do you think?
 

Vidic15

No Custom Title Exists
V.I.P.
I never apologize because what's the point of saying sorry when the act that I did, I meant it. If I was going to be sorry, I wouldn't have done what I did. Sorry is just a poor excuse word where you don't know what to say and you don't want to drag the matter any further because you are intimidated by the situation and what could become of it.
 

Shwa

Well-Known Member
V.I.P.
I believe being sorry for an action caused by you on purpose or by accident should always be said. In a relationship with someone, it's saying "Hey, I messed this up/let my anger get the best of me/was just upset". There was no real intent on taking it out on the other half. In the professional world, it's a statement such as "I apologize, let me fix that/redo that/take responsibility for my actions".

I use to say sorry to get over with the conversation like Aleks stated, but really it's not the solution to make things better in the end if you don't mean it. You can say "I'm sorry" and fake it for a long time, but if you keep repeating your actions, you can never learn from the mistake you made to say "I'm sorry" to begin with.

~Shwa
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
I'm confused because of where your speech marks ended. If you say, "I'm sorry, but..." then yeah that is annoying and a waste of time in my opinion. Because something negative is going to follow so it's obvious you're going to offend/hurt someone and you're apologising in advance. But there's no point in doing that because you know you're going to say something they don't want to hear so why apologise if you don't mean it?

If you just say, "I'm sorry" then I don't see the problem. You've done something wrong, hurt someone perhaps when you didn't mean to and now you're feeling bad. Sometimes all it takes is an apology to make someone feel better. And sometimes we say things we don't mean in the heat of an argument and apologise so that the person knows that.
 

Taliesin

Registered Member
Saying "I'm sorry" can sometimes be a powerful thing for the person who's been wronged. It means that you're not hiding behind any excuses, that you're willing to own up to your wrong and attempt to make it right. In my opinion, not enough people say sorry and mean it. It seems too easy to hold onto stubborn pride.
 

Rebeccaaa

yellow 4!
@ Aleks, have you never made a mistake and felt genuinely sorry for it? I can see where you're coming from in the sense that we shouldn't apologize when we don't mean it, but even then, I think it's okay for a quick fix if it's going to make the other person feel better. Like when my mum yells at me for forgetting to do something or whatever, I could argue back until we're both blue in the FACE, but instead it's easier to just say "sorry" and move on.

But yeah, saying sorry is always a good idea if you're in the wrong. I think that people underestimate how much it means to the other person to hear that, as Ephe was saying.
 

generalblue

Where is my Queen?
I don't say I'm sorry. If I feel guilty about something that I said or did, I will make it up with actions not words. I have always believed actions are louder than words, and when you say I'm sorry, it can be a fake apology or maybe not, but the person you are apologizing to may not find that sincere enough. Actions speak louder, like maybe just simply talking about the situation can be better than just saying 'I'm sorry.' It actually shows that you care and you are not looking for a simple way out of a sticky situation. When people apologize to me, I just ignore it and by that time I am over that particular situation anyways.
 

shelgarr

Registered Member
We say "sorry" to ease the pain the other person may be dealing with. It's an expression of empathy and compassion we feel for others when we've made them feel bad or subjected them to situations that caused them harm or discomfort. Apology is not for oneself or a way to eliviate guilt, or make excuses, or escape our own wrongdoings. It's ALWAYS for the other person.
 

sunrise

aka ginger warlock
V.I.P.
I agree with shelgar, when I apologize it is not to make myself feel better but to show the other person I know what I did was wrong and that I shouldn't have done it.
 

Manored

Registered Member
We say "sorry" to ease the pain the other person may be dealing with. It's an expression of empathy and compassion we feel for others when we've made them feel bad or subjected them to situations that caused them harm or discomfort. Apology is not for oneself or a way to eliviate guilt, or make excuses, or escape our own wrongdoings. It's ALWAYS for the other person.
I disagree, I dont see how "sorry" alleviates the pain of another. As far as I know its a way of indicating that you did not mean to do what you did, or that you regret having done it. In other words, admiting that you have commited a mistake.

On mundane situations, such as having accidentally collided with somebody or the like, I just apologize out of convention, usually regardless of who was in the wrong. I dont really think about whenever to apologize or not unless its something more serious than little incidents like that.
 
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