is it cheating if you masturbate to porn?

#21
If your partner was watching porn instead of coming to you to satisfy his sexual needs, then I would see it as being an issue somewhere within the relationship (ex: not having the same sex drive or on different levels, sexually, etc.) or a personal issue he had (ex: possibly insecure?, etc.) BUT if he / she is just doing it once in a while because they fancy getting off on a little porn action, I see no harm in that.
Right, which is why the issue would need to be addressed.

I'm not saying a person's mind never strays, that would be an impossible burden. But, why would he need to fantasize about another woman at such a personal time?
 

Jeanie

still nobody's bitch
V.I.P.
#22
it depends on whether your partner is ok with it. For some people it could be a real turn on to think that their partner is masturbating to porn. Cheating can only be defined within the boundaries of each individual relationship. It's not black and white.
 

AnitaKnapp

It's not me, it's you.
V.I.P.
#23
In normal circumstances, I wouldn't consider it cheating.

I would only have a problem with it if masturbation by porn was being done instead of getting it on with your available SO.
 

Stegosaurus

Registered Member
#24
Cheating can only be defined within the boundaries of each individual relationship. It's not black and white.
Exactly! There is no hard and fast rule for this. We have yet to discuss the intricacies of long-distance relationships, cultural mindsets, etc...
 

storm_ina_C_cup

Registered Member
#25
Right, which is why the issue would need to be addressed.

I'm not saying a person's mind never strays, that would be an impossible burden. But, why would he need to fantasize about another woman at such a personal time?

I don't see watching porn as fantasizing about any particular man or woman. I just see it as an overall, natural form of visual, sexual arousal / stimulation and is pretty harmless if it does not interfere with your own relationship with your partner or his / her feelings. This is why I think it's vital you are sexually compatible with the person you intend to share the rest of your life with, as any imbalance can cause issues, resentment, insecurities, even divorce, etc.

I think it's healthy to find other people attractive, whether it be emotionally / physically / mentally, even if you are in a committed relationship, however, if they acted on their impulses and embarked on a physical / emotional relationship with another person apart from you, then to me, that would cause reason to worry about the relationship and why he / she is choosing to be with another man / woman and not you.

Sorry if I've slightly gone off topic.:)
 

storm_ina_C_cup

Registered Member
#26
Exactly! There is no hard and fast rule for this. We have yet to discuss the intricacies of long-distance relationships, cultural mindsets, etc...
I could talk about this.

For six months my SO and I lived in two seperate countries and shared a serious relationship, long-distance.
It was hard.
Extremely hard but we did what ever it took to keep things going, whether it was having "webcam sex" or sending little gift packages to each other while we were apart...blahblahblah.
...Do I know he watched porn while we were apart? Of course. Did I mind? No, because it wasn't interfering or harming anything or anyone.
 

Merc

Certified Shitlord
V.I.P.
#27
If you're 100% committed to someone, why would you need any sort of outside stimulation to begin with? A relationship is about two people; not you, your partner and the porn channel.
If I found out that my SO was getting off by watching porn instead of coming to me to satisfy his needs, I'm sure I'd feel betrayed.
A "porn channel" is not a person.

Your key point here is "watching porn instead of coming to me to satisfy his needs" which several people have said already is a problem. There's no harm in getting a little horny, not being able to see your partner and just masturbating. Not to mention, if you have a fetish your partner won't do, then why not just satisfy that need with porn? Is it really that big a deal?
 
#28
A "porn channel" is not a person.

Your key point here is "watching porn instead of coming to me to satisfy his needs" which several people have said already is a problem. There's no harm in getting a little horny, not being able to see your partner and just masturbating. Not to mention, if you have a fetish your partner won't do, then why not just satisfy that need with porn? Is it really that big a deal?
I guess that depends on your views of sex and what it really means. If it's nothing more than a way to find release, then it really doesn't matter what you're doing or who you're doing it with.
I view it as something deeper than just a moment of pleasure. It involves an emotional bond between me and the person I love.
 

storm_ina_C_cup

Registered Member
#29
I guess that depends on your views of sex and what it really means. If it's nothing more than a way to find release, then it really doesn't matter what you're doing or who you're doing it with.
I view it as something deeper than just a moment of pleasure. It involves an emotional bond between me and the person I love.
I understand.
Some people feel that way, other's do not. And I am one of them who doesn't.

I love my husband more than anyone and wouldn't even think of cheating on him with another person. I take my marriage and my commitment to him as serious as serious can be and the bond and connection we share and I feel is something I've never experienced before in my life with anyone else. However, when we have sex, we don't always feel the need to have a deep, passionate connection with each other, we save that for making love. Then there's the animalistic, spontanious, dirty ravishings that we enjoy purely for the pleasure.
...I like it that way and what it brings into our marriage as does my husband and most importantly, it works for us.
 
Last edited:
#30
I understand.
Some people feel that way, other's do not. And I am one of them who doesn't.

I love my husband more than anyone and wouldn't even think of cheating on him with another person. I take my marriage and my commitment to him as serious as serious can be and the bond and connection we share and I feel is something I've never experienced before in my life with anyone else. However, when we have sex, we don't always feel the need to have a deep, passionate connection with each other, we save that for making love. Then there's the animalistic, spontanious, dirty ravishings that we enjoy purely for the pleasure.
...I like it that way and what it brings into our marriage as does my husband and most importantly, it works for us.
But, you're still connected to each other in that moment. I'm going to assume you don't have the image of another man in your head at the moment of release? It doesn't matter if it's fast and furious, or slow and lovely. The bottom line is who you're with mentally and physically at that moment.
You mentioned your long distance relationship and how difficult it was. I understand how hard that is, probably just as much or better than most people. The thing is though, in all this time of dealing with it, I've never let my mind wander to another man during intimate moments.
Does that make me better than anyone else who feels differently than me? Of course not, it's just the way I feel about this subject. I think it's fine for everyone to choose what's right for them. Being totally focused on the man I'm completely in love with at the most personal of moments is right for me.:)
 
Top