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Is chivalry dead?

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
These days men profess to being so worried about offending women and being accused of being patronising they are becoming reluctant to offer the so-called 'fairer sex' seats on public transport, to hold open doors and to help mothers carrying buggies up and down stairs.

Is chivalry officially dead? Men unlikely to offer women seats or help with buggies due to fear of offending... but we WANT them to! | Mail Online
I don't think its dead but its not as wide spread as it use to be. Personally I don't mind at all if I'm entering a building and the guy (or girl) in front of me holds the door. I think its nice of them, I always thank them and don't consider it patronizing.

I've held doors for men and women alike because they were right behind me and thought it rude just to let go of the door since they were so close or their hands were full.

I want equal opportunities and pay but I don't think men should have to stop being nice or offering a helping hand. I can see where they would be afraid too because it could be taken wrong by a few.

Where do you stand on this, would you get a door or help a woman (or man)? Are your afraid it will be taken wrong? Do you try to avoid it?
 

sunrise

aka ginger warlock
V.I.P.
I often hold doors open for men and women alike, as you sad Hil, it's just good manners to do so. I don't believe it is sexist or implying women are weaker then men if they hold a door open, give up a seat on a bus or help them with something heavy, again, it's called being polite.

The thing about sexism is that it is very much a personal opinion that can be blown out of proportion very quickly. Say for example if I am in work and I hold the door open for a woman, she may see it as me being friendly, at the same time another women sees this and decides that it is sexist and passes around that I am. I am not, I am courteous but because of one persons opinion I am straight away a bad guy.

I think if a man stops doing something because he thinks it would be construed as sexist he if anything is setting a precedent that it is and therefore actually makes it worse than doing it where as if he had done it and stated "I am simply being polite" if it came into question he could quash those opinions, I am not sure I am putting my case across very well here but I hope some of it makes sense.
 

CaptainObvious

Son of Liberty
V.I.P.
That's odd, I held the door for a woman today and after she said thank you she made a comment about how she thought chivalry was dead. I just smiled and moved on. I don't think it's as widespread as it used to be. I don't really care if some crazy feminist gets offended if I don't open the door, I've suspected as much at times when I don't even get a thank you, I'm going to do it anyway.
 

Chaos

Epic Gamer
V.I.P.
To be honest, I'd hold a door open for anyone if they were behind me, or coming the other way, etc. I don't think chivalry in its original form exists because manners should be given to all, regardless of gender or anything else. Otherwise it's just rude. :dunno:
 

Hilander

Free Spirit
Staff member
V.I.P.
I'm glad to see that the men of GF are gentlemen and would open a door for a lady or anyone needing help. I think the few women that would see this a patronizing are wrong. A man or woman will never get a dirty look from me just for being polite and helpful. I will always thank them too, that would be the polite thing to do after all they went out of their way for me.

I think some in society have forgotten how to be polite.
 

Pedro Phill

New Member
Chivalry is not dead because chivalry is embedded in us men. It will never go away because it's in our genes. :D
 

Misdoubt

Registered Member
Nah not dead, its still there and I see it. A lot of the time though from what I've seen it gets pushed off or turned into a 'wow that guy is creep he is flirting with me' kind of thing, oddly enough.

Its having decent good manners, which seems to be dying out so yeah maybe it is dying, sexism is a big thing too as others have said, its somehow gotten to be offensive haha.

I'll probably hold a door open for maybe 10 people each day and I'll be lucky to get even one thank you, and if I do its from someone that immigrated to the country, not anyone born here, if that makes much of a difference.
 

idisrsly

I'm serious
V.I.P.
I still see chivelry often, at my work place in fact. And it's a great thing to experience. I love the real gentlemen I share an office with. Of course, I show the same kindness to them, ie hold a door when I am there, hold the elevator, whatever the case may be.

The thing is though, it doesn't work if you only hold the door for the beautiful woman but don't get up from your seat in a bus for another woman. That's not really chivelry. If a guy is going to be a gentlemen, it should be because of how he feels is the right way to treat a woman, and it should be consistent. If you're going to be inconsistent about how you treat woman, don't be shocked and surprised when you get that same inconsistency back from them.
 

Smelnick

Creeping On You
V.I.P.
i think it is... alot of girls don't want you to do anything.. so whatever..
I find though, even if the girl doesn't respond with a thankyou or anything, that it doesn't matter. I'll still do it anyways. I feel good for doing the nice thing, not for the reaction from the girl. If they want to be grumpy even after having a door held for them, that's they're problem not mine.
 
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