Is CHANGE something you really want?

#1
As life goes on, we pass by many stages. Always eager for the next step through school, then collage. But then? we go to work or maybe get married. those are really milestones in a persons life. I never thought my life would dramatically change this way after marriage. I'm a different person who I don't want to be, but I'm here! So depressed and so not me. My life have CHANGED. I'm in a different stage what shall I do? I'm not adjusting to it. I want to be passion about my life. How do you do that? Is it only me, or is there anyone who find difficulties in going into an new stage in life?
 
#3
I don't know if you have children or not, but hopefully you don't, so, you can still change your life to your liking. Talk to your wife about the things you want to do and the lifestyle you want to live. Since you are married now you'll have to compromise.

You can still change your life even if you're married, believe it or not.
 

Corona

Registered Member
#4
As life goes on, we pass by many stages. Always eager for the next step through school, then collage. But then? we go to work or maybe get married. those are really milestones in a persons life. I never thought my life would dramatically change this way after marriage. I'm a different person who I don't want to be, but I'm here! So depressed and so not me. My life have CHANGED. I'm in a different stage what shall I do? I'm not adjusting to it. I want to be passion about my life. How do you do that? Is it only me, or is there anyone who find difficulties in going into an new stage in life?

How long have you been married?
 
#5
I've been married for a year and a half now, and I have a 5 month old. I had passion for life, I loved going to collage and meeting my friends. Now all what I think about is my marriage life. Maybe its because I have paused my personal interest so long that I feel I have lost them? My husband is nice, but maybe not too much of a family guy. Sometimes I feel I have never been so lonely!
Should married couples be so bound together? Or should they live separate lives? Whatever or wherever I go, I have this thing nagging in me that I should be with him.
 

Bliss

Sally Twit
#6
You can still be married and do things alone. Marriage isn't about being joined at the hip. I'd still want my space if I got married.

You should talk to your husband about how you're feeling, maybe you'll be able to figure out why you're feeling like this and what you can both do to change it.
 
#7
You should talk to your husband about how you're feeling, maybe you'll be able to figure out why you're feeling like this and what you can both do to change it.
Gods, no, please don't. Do something to change it first - I don't know, invite him to rob a bank with you or something - /then/ explain that you feel something is missing in your life.
 

Jeanie

still nobody's bitch
V.I.P.
#8
is there any chance you could be dealing with post partum depression? what you're experiencing - feeling like you don't have your own life - is very common among new mothers. it's normal.

it changes, honestly. you'll get some of your life back as your baby gets older. it's not going to be the same as it was, but you'll feel more independent as time goes on.
 

kiwi

The Original Kiwi
#9
The thing I find that helps me when I have a bad day (like I'm losing myself) is have something you like to do just for you. My out is sewing. If I make a little time to sew most days, things tend to go better.

My hubby and I don't really have a lot of hobbies that are similar. We are trying to come up with a couple but haven't yet. We do spend time together every night though and run errands on the weekends. This helps keep us close but doing something for just me helps me remember I am still me and not just a mom. Finding one or two close mom friends that you can relate to will probably help as well.