Insulting Match Maker

Discussion in 'Dating & Relationships' started by Boredie, Mar 6, 2009.

  1. Boredie

    Boredie In need of Entertainment

    I read in a local newspaper that a match maker said to a fat woman that it's hard for the match maker to find someone for the woman in her state, and suggested she get rid of the fat.
    (Nothing was mentioned about a fat man seeking the match maker's help. I wonder if her response would have been the same.)

    I personally thought it's hurtful to the woman and very bad advertising for the match maker.

    Who said that being fat means you can't find a partner?
    And if the match maker was trying to be helpful, why are men so shallow? If these men have come to the match maker, obviously they couldn't find anyone on their own, so I should think that fatness shouldn't be so high on their priorities..
    Obviously she wouldn't have said what she said if it wasn't true, though. Or would she?

    Your comments are welcome.

  2. Millz

    Millz LGB Staff Member V.I.P.

    The problem is that most people are going to put they are interested in slender build or athletic build or some to that affect. But just because someone is fat doesn't mean its impossible for them to find a match...that is definitely insulting to that person.

    Maybe they should just find someone themself?
  3. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    How does this match maker work? She matches the people M/F seeking matches? Maybe none of the women specified a build for their requirement, and all of the men requested thin/sexy/not heavy build as their requirement. Haha.

    Either way, it's not the nicest thing to say to someone. It could have been worded differently like "Sorry but none of the current available men match your file as they all requested a size 38 (or however you measure women there)".
  4. Millz

    Millz LGB Staff Member V.I.P.

    I haven't spent much time on a match maker but I would assume you'd have to put in what type of build you are looking for in a person and I just assume, again, most people put skinny/slender/athletic etc. Granted there are some people out there who like "overweight" people so it's not impossible for her to find someone.

    The fact of the matter is that person should have told her in a different way and not so brutally offended her like that. There are better ways to break that sort of news.
    AnitaKnapp likes this.
  5. Major

    Major 4 legs good 2 legs bad V.I.P.

    What kind of match maker is it? Because there are some that you can talk to, either over the phone or in person, and they'll give you suggestions for how to get more dates or whatever. So suggesting to a person that they could try to lose some weight isn't really that different than telling them to get a new hairstyle or to dress differently. I can see how it would be insulting, but in the end they're just suggestions.
  6. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    Admit it, millz. How many times have you used match maker? :)

    Boredie is probably also concerned with the double standard, like how come a fat guy looking for a match was never advised about his fat.
  7. Major

    Major 4 legs good 2 legs bad V.I.P.

    We don't know that there hasn't been a fat guy advised about his fat. Maybe she hasn't had any fat male clients, or maybe none of them have complained about it publicly.
  8. ysabel

    ysabel /ˈɪzəˌbɛl/ pink 5

    Oh dur, I reread the OP. "Nothing was mentioned about a fat man seeking the match maker's help." I thought it said "nothing was mentioned to the fat man seeking..."

    Anyway, I still agree with millz here. There were better ways to say it. And as for Boredie, yes, some people are shallow. :lol: I do think that when people go to a match maker they would most likely state the "ideal". After all, you're asking, so why not ask for the best? They'll learn to compromise and prioritise what is really important later.
  9. Yeti

    Yeti Registered Member

    Matchmaker should realize it's all in the personality.
  10. Boredie

    Boredie In need of Entertainment


    Generally it's much more than matching up M to F. She's a very good MM, I've heard and has made many matchs. A good match maker doesn't use profile listings only, but also meets up with the clients to get a feel of what they are like.

    Granted that most men would not write in their requests that they are looking for a fat woman, yet a good MM would gradually convince the man that this woman has a great personality and the only drawback is her weight.

    What Echoes said would've been a more apropriate response.

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