Inherited Values

Obsessiforge

- Diderot Reborn -
#1
how much influence did/do your parents have over your values and beliefs? the reason I'm asking is my mother pretty much flipped out at me last night and yelled (and I quote)

You can't have values that are different from ours are! as long as you are our son, our values are the same!
now, here's the thing. I understand "as long as you're our son, you live by our rules" and stuff along those lines. but I figure values are something a little more personal, something that parents don't really have any say in. after all, though they may have legal custody over me, they don't own my brain, heart, soul, whatever you wish to call it. that, if nothing else, is very much my own.

but that's just my take. I may be an idiot.
 

Wade8813

Registered Member
#2
how much influence did/do your parents have over your values and beliefs?
It's hard to say exactly. I agree with them on a lot of things, but some really major ones, we don't necessarily see eye to eye.


now, here's the thing. I understand "as long as you're our son, you live by our rules" and stuff along those lines. but I figure values are something a little more personal, something that parents don't really have any say in. after all, though they may have legal custody over me, they don't own my brain, heart, soul, whatever you wish to call it. that, if nothing else, is very much my own.

but that's just my take. I may be an idiot.
There's no way anyone can force anyone else to have the same values. That said, they can (more or less) force you to live by their values, which may be what she meant.
 

Obsessiforge

- Diderot Reborn -
#3
It's hard to say exactly. I agree with them on a lot of things, but some really major ones, we don't necessarily see eye to eye.


There's no way anyone can force anyone else to have the same values. That said, they can (more or less) force you to live by their values, which may be what she meant.
but on that track, how morally sound is it to force someone to live my a set of beliefs and values that they don't agree with? and how do you adhere to such a set of values if you clash with them on an inherent and fundamental level?
 

icegoat63

Son of Liberty
V.I.P.
#4
Well growing up your parents should be the biggest influence on your values. Simple as that. Whether or not you grow up to stick to those particular values is completely your own character.

But I do agree that yes, Parents can, will, and should enforce their values on their children. Its what I would consider an essential part of parenting that teaches us as individuals right from wrong. However when we as individuals are old enough to make our own intelligent decisions, we should be able to regulate our own Values.

What that tricky age is... I dunno, that'll rely solely on the individual.
 

Merc

Certified Shitlord
V.I.P.
#5
Your mother sounds like the idiot.

Yes, we all inherit values from our parents, but we also accept our own. I'd say every person who spent their childhood with their parents are at least 50% made up of their parents' values.
 

Obsessiforge

- Diderot Reborn -
#6
but at what point does your parental influence stop and your own, personally developed values start to kick in?
 

Merc

Certified Shitlord
V.I.P.
#7
I think it starts early, like around 12. Of course, it's not a rational train of thought at that age, but you're definitely thinking about it. I think you begin to accept your parents' values at a deeper level as a teenager and continue to adopt your own as you age.
 

Wade8813

Registered Member
#8
but on that track, how morally sound is it to force someone to live my a set of beliefs and values that they don't agree with? and how do you adhere to such a set of values if you clash with them on an inherent and fundamental level?
When you're dealing with children, they don't know better. You have to force the them to live by it, until you can teach them.

As far as teenagers or adults, I think it depends on what the situation is.